Still With You [Liltotto/Giselle]

The room was dark, this time because she wanted it to be, as opposed to her falling into herself. Wrapped in her blanket, she went through another plate. She was gradually getting used to her body again, disturbing dreams and off moments in mobility and memory noted, but overall she was healthy. Too many lights still gave her headaches even after a few days of rest.

Couldn’t sleep yet, her guardian was coming to visit her, she remembered someone saying that earlier at least... Eyes dragged up to the clock on the wall for guidance of the time; it was clearly bordering afternoon.. What time did that nurse say again? Couldn’t remember.. That was fine, Giselle would end up at that door at some point, that she held onto.

All she could do in the meanwhile was listen to calm music drone on in the background.

She smelled her before she saw her, a presence she couldn't ever forget as she sighed and had her arms outstretched to easily welcome the other woman, hugging her back with little resistance, if anything she put far more into the hug than she was normally willing to, every beat of a reminder that this was real, that this wasn't a dream, was welcome.

"Plenty. I'm still sleepy, but I guess i've been pretty low energy since I was brought back." A calm response would be given, her tiring evidenced on her face - it wasnt that she wasn't getting enough sleep, but rather the persistent discomfort and irregularity she felt was keeping her from sufficiently relaxing.

"Well, I got taken someplace else. And held there. And... Well I don't really remember what led to me coming back. Still a blur. I'm.. Doing the best I can."

Yeah, even if she was trying to hide it she could smell the anger coming off Giselle; she still saw her as her little girl after all, even if she'd had more time without her than with. It was something she found oddly sweet, but never really knew how to process - maybe she'd understand if she ever became a mother.

"Something like that," Her drifting tone would respond, drooping eyes wavering on the thought. She'd pressed and pinched at her own thoughts to grasp it properly, but most things felt like a haze she couldn't grab; she had an idea of where she was and what happened to her, but it was all still in fragments that stubbornly refused their slothful idling to link together.

..Yeah, she had been alive a long time, it wasn't like she hadn't been subjected to horrible circumstances prior... It's just that she felt... Uniquely horrible this time. Terrible in a way she'd never experienced, terrible in a manner completely alien to her mind and body. The persistent, lingering thought of something bad having happened to her was the biggest nag on her consciousness.

"..Giselle, I quit being a Sternritter," She'd calmly reply as she was drawn back into the hug, just leaning into it with quiet acceptance, "They're going to figure out a non-combative role for me to fill, but for now I am on leave to recover... I'm not stupid; i'm resting."

Frankly, it was hard to get much rest with the things that kept barging into her thoughts at times, or the things that slipped away, "Well. i'm trying to rest. It's kind of hard when I keep getting migraines and shitty dreams."

“I don’t want to fight anymore, Giselle.”

She’d calmly correct, the drone of music still on in the background within the dark room as she wrapped herself tighter in the blankets, “I’ve realized I never… Really wanted to in the first place. All I was ever doing was just going with the motions, what I was familiar with...”

It wasn’t that her spirit was broken by her experience, it was simply that she realized that this wasn’t what she wanted to do with her life. This wasn’t what made her happy; it was just the rounds she had from childhood that ultimately ended in hellfire.

“I can’t really get fat, or weaker in the same way humans do, it’s not like I have to train or anything… Not that I really want to.”

There was little hesitance in leaning into the embrace, if anything she seemed oddly cuddlier than prior; that sensation to keep away, that instinctive repulsion to touch built up over hundreds of years, was oddly absent in her mind. She even went as far as to stretch an arm around Giselle as to communicate she wanted to maintain the embrace. Not that she was really thinking about it all that strongly.

"Sorry I haven't been calling," She'd echo the sentiment back, "For the longest time I... Wanted to avoid talking to you. Not because of you, but.. You've been dead longer than alive to me Giselle, it felt weird just... Picking up like none of that ever happened."

Even in the darkness her eyes were visibly sadder, rounder, "I just couldn't help... I can never help but remember finding you... In unrecognizable strains of scent... It's just, a lot... It's not that I don't want to connect with you, if anything i've gotten over it... But for the longest time it..."

Her voice shuddered and broke, biting her bottom lip in a shamed silence.