Hollow Souls [Aina/Cala]

Aina couldn't understand why the male was beginning to run away from her. There were a few steps taken back from Cala before he started to speak of perhaps sacrificing himself for her, wanting to keep her safe and making her understand. But she didn't get it, her heart ached, and the woman couldn't allow him just to run away and not explain further.

With her eyes filled with tears, Aina hugged the man from behind and shook her head as she dismissed these concerns for the time being.

"Stop. You don't have to fear me. But, please, I don't want you to go just yet. Can we not talk this out?"

Was this fear of getting close? Did he perhaps see himself becoming lost in the woman's softness to the where he could not bare the reality of losing it if her own weaknesses brought her demise? She had to know and just spoke out.

"Cala, please, are you just afraid of my own weakness causing your downfall? Just talk to me and we can work this out..."

Cala would pause as Aina hugged them from behind, their form staying rigid and unmoving for a long moment. Aina's words, guesses thrown haphazardly at Cala out of emotion and fear, only deepened their resolve. But toward what end they could not understand. Indeed as Aina pleaded to work things out together Cala's own confusion, their own perspective away from the test laid before her, became their response. Slowly untangling Aina's arms from around their body Cala would hold her hands tightly, turn to face her, and gaze down at her directly. Their words soft, meaningful, and tender as they released Aina's hands and raised their left hand to her cheek. Using their thumb to carefully, gently, caress away the tears that threatened her beautiful eyes.

"Aina..... we have only just met and that you could cry for a monster you know so little of is what spurs me to leave. "

Despite themselves, despite a distinct stab of sorrow piercing their heart at the act, in the end they could not resist those plum eyes, or that innocent heart that beseeched them so earnestly. It was their own failing.

"You are innocent, as our other self is, and while you wish our presence so completely.... earlier we did not struggle with control. Our existence, as we just explained, is deception and lies, and regrettably all more of the same."

Caressing her cheek softly Cala's lips would work into a thin grimace.

"You feared us, despite claiming not to, you struggle to understand us, despite wishing our presence..... you are precious, yet invite us to test and harm you in such ways, and it burdens us with guilt. To be so close to us would be a painful test and it is not weakness you hold over us, instead it is power, a frightening power, but one just as capable of bringing about a downfall. You, whomever you were before, to whatever it is you are now, have become something we would cherish. Could you... truly.... ask me to see you in such pain from pursuing my affection? It would be the first display of your power, not your weakness, that the choice, in the end, be nothing... but yours."

Such was Cala focused on those deep, entrancing eyes, that tender soul, that the smallest detail such as their first ever referral of this part of themselves in the singular.... went entirely unnoticed. Such was the potential power Aina held.

Aina just stared in disbelief. Parts of her were glad he still cherished her, while others were shocked at how close and fast she clung to someone she had just met. Was this another aspect of Algos coming into her new life? Was she turning into the same monster she was?

The woman stared blankly at Cala as her tears dried, understanding that if he did become so close to her, the power she would hold over him COULD bring him. To feel affection, closeness, and someone you could lose yourself in was an immense emotion and sentiment to process. And if the worse were to happen due to her naivety, innocence, and capacity to yield influence over him, the loss of that comfort could break the hollow. So, bit her lip, tried to find the right words to say, and continued to hold his arm despite this revelation.

"Perhaps....we are taking things too fast. But, I...I think I get it, partially. When you care for someone, you can lose yourself in them. And when that person is no longer gone or there, it hurts so much when that attachment is damaged or broken. I think you are afraid that my limitations, innocence, and naivety will bring you harm because you care about me."

Speaking out of a mixture of understanding, shock, sorrow, and some relief, the woman, breathed out as she gazed at Cala for a moment longer and continued.

"Why don't we at least slow things down and still remain in contact? I think you should wane yourself a bit off of me, but that doesn't mean we cannot still be in contact with each other. I still want to have you as a friend if you are willing. I don't want to cause your world to turn to fire as my soul does radiate a powerful inferno. But I think I found something in the dark. My life is confusing right now, yet to find another light outside of the blaze of my spirit is something I want to have, and I have to be careful not to cause my inner flame to devour you whole."

Cala's visage stayed trained on Aina's eyes for a long moment and they let her speak. As she did Cala's form seemed to become like that of a macabre statue, even the most vague rise and fall of their chest with each breathe becoming so minute as to be invisible, and it was only when Aina stopped speaking that Cala took a step towards her. It was a very odd step, slow and ponderous, before their hands softly moved in tandem, laying themselves upon Aina's shoulders and now too exhausted, too close to such intense emotion for too long, Cala opened their mouth, fangs glinting dully, and inhaled a slow breathe. Their words a somber, quiet and strangely more numb sounding than usual as they made sure to meet her gaze with their sightless eyes.

"You are.... correct in that it is best we take some time."

There was a long pause, Cala's hand softly squeezing Aina's shoulders as the last bit of discord in their being faded away and they resolved to simply give her half the answer they had so sincerely hoped she reach on her own. Whether she ever grasped the second half they did not know, but it was not one they could provide to her, even if they wanted to.

"And you are not necessarily incorrect in your worry, I have no current experience with emotions of such... potency... but you are wholly WRONG in what I wished you to understand. I am much like you, unused to the feelings you make me feel, as you are to those I excite in you....."

Cala's right hand gently rose to cup her forehead, hand barely hovering against her skin, claws softly, like a soft drag of a feather, touching her neck, and the side of their hand hid Aina's eyes for a moment, before the hand returned to her shoulder. There was meaning in the motion beyond just wanting to feel her skin, something ephemeral and hidden, a piece of their psyche displayed in physical action, and yet another puzzle piece for her to use.... if she thought to do so.

"....however.... we are different in many distinct ways. You are like my other self, no reference, no experience, and.... too trusting...."

Cala leaned closer for a moment, their mask almost touching Aina's forehead as they continued.

"....too innocent.... but neither my other self or I are alone as you are. What one learns the other can share, from one perspective we can nurture and grow the other.... you lack this.... and it is not that I fear... It.... it is not that....."

Cala actually struggled to speak for a moment, their jaw tensing, before they pulled their head back and removed their hands from her as if she were a precious jewel they had been caught attempting to steal.

"...It is NOT that I fear your innocence or power over me will bring me harm. It is that I fear your innocence and power over me will turn me into a weapon with which you harm yourself. I am, after all, a monster. One who has frightened you, hurt you, with a mere lie and a test of my own design. I.... I do not have the words to describe how I feel when I think about how I may terrifying, how I may HURT you, if I had your own permission...."

Cala let these words hang in the air for but a moment before turning away from her and, after a moment, quietly offered her their phone as their manner of speech reverted to normal.

"We feel it is best to keep in touch, if for no other reason than you are a willing source of energy, that is valuable to us...."

One feeling was still for certain as the rest were crushed and forced down into nearly the depths of an already-divided soul and that was that those words sat like ash upon their tongue for how much they loathed them.

Aina began to notice Cala's hand on her shoulder and blinked. It was as if he was breathing slowly, taking all this in and trying to process everything to find the right words to say and action to invoke. So, Aina would gradually smile, pat his hand and let him speak as needed. But, even as he cusp her head and lingered on her eyes, the woman would not avert her gaze.

As she continued to listen, the hollow spoke of not wanting to be a weapon that could harm her as they both were inexperienced. And unlike him, she did not have another side to herself to be more analytical, thoughtful, and a warrior. It was a scary situation to be in because she was too trusting and innocent. That would get her killed, and he would not be able to live with himself if something like that were to occur.

So, as he narrowed his head and began to walk away, Aina gently held on to the phone he had given her and decided to speak. Even if it felt tense or uncertain, she knew she would have to go through the fire to get to the other side and salvage their relationship. It was one of her first friends that she felt, and she didn't want to let that go ever so quickly.

"Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are out in the open. I'm happy you shared them with me; at least we can try to prevent it. I will still be your friend, but I will do my part to become more aware, less naive, and retain my kindness as I gain more experience about people, this world, and where we stand as a relationship."

Nodding her head, she took in all her and Cala's feelings before continuing.

"You may leave for the night, but I won't let you become the weapon that kills me. With all my power, I will do all I can to prevent that heartache for you, Cala. I promise."

Cala considered Aina for a long moment, undeniably some part of them desired to stay with her, for more reasons than they could discern individually at the moment. They were simply satisfied with her understanding this small part of what they had been trying to tell her. It was only the first step but, inevitably, each journey whether physical or of understanding, began somewhere. They did pause briefly, though for no reason as deep as they had been discussing, as Aina simply.... held onto their phone. They had meant for her to put her number into it and return it, but they did not know how to broach the subject.

Instead Cala simply resolved to garner themselves a replacement, as they knew the number of the phone Aina now possessed, an old Nokia flip phone of infamous durability such that even Solomon's legendary derision had not phased it. Truly a worthy device for someone so worth protecting. With a slow nod Cala would ascent to her promise.

"We will meet again, I feel, sooner than either of us suspect. Be safe Aina and we will hold you to that promise."

Leaping onto the windowsill Cala would drop down into the streets below and begin making their way through the night, specifically, east. If their sense of direction served them well it would be, roughly, where they had been joined in battle by one Kegare some time ago. Though, no doubt, a good deal north of that place; Greece, as it were, would be their unknowing destination.