Hollow Souls [Aina/Cala]

Cala began to flush gently as Aina almost... complimented them? It felt strange and foreign to Cala but, nonetheless, it was enough to make them look down and away. A squirming, coiling feeling like a sparking wire flailing and burning through Cala's gut. An emotion Aina may find surprising beginning to emanate from a Hollow of all things, but it was unmistakably true, absolute innocence mixed with a detached, almost perplexed and foreign tangling of a tiny bit of happiness, a pinch of excitement, a brush of infatuation and a very large helping of confusion and uncertainty. All of this, combined with the small influx of energy from Aina, was simply too much for Cala to process all at once.

Stepping back from Aina Caala would release their hand, hugging themselves, and slowly close their eyes. It was no response of a demon's victim, a euphoric overload or ecstasy-driven excess, merely a mind unable to process all the novelty it was presented with. Indeed Cala seemed almost devoid of emotions Aina's memories would find familiar, save their hunger, and as Aina fed it Cala slowly turned and opened the door. Silently waiting for Aina to enter without saying anything, their free hand still awkwardly grasping the shoulder of the arm holding the door, even as Cala's eyes seemed much more unfocused now.

In fact Cala did not speak even after stepping inside, and answered their eagerly attending waiter by way of nods and head movements, and it was only once they were seated at a small, nice table on a veranda overlooking a small river that Cala fiddled with their silverware and ventured to speak. Their voice quiet, halting, as if the words were being drug out of them inch by agonizing inch.

"I-I'm..... I'm not... brave. I-I was just copying what my friends would have done I-Igen and Ariadna I mean. E-Everyone always says not to be scared, to not be quiet.... b-but...."

Cala limply dropped the fork to the table and looked down, looking rather defeated and radiating confusion.

".....W-What do you do if you know... th-that the only other thing you c-can be is m-much, much worse?"

Aina spoke of the evil inside everyone, or at least the potential for it, and Cala nodded slowly. Not exactly agreeing or disagreeing but understanding the concept behind the words. What they said next, however, made Cala blink and begin to fidget in their seat only for Aina to cup their face. Cala being too distracted by their own emotions to dodge the physical contact and, once it was made, Cala went stock still.

No one had ever touched Cala like this, and the softness of their face bloomed with a true, gentle warmth under Aina's hands. Slightly widened eyes the hue of vibrant vermillion stared back at her. Sharp, bright pink contrasting deep, swirling plum as Cala truly, sincerely blushed. The combination of touch and encouraging words made Cala's mouth go dry and for the very smallest kernel of a new emotion to permeate the Arrancar. Something that made them tense their stomach and twitch their hands as their breathing softened.....

Attraction.

Cala would have squirmed like a worm on a hook if they were less confused, less enthralled, than they were. Their lip trembled briefly, their eyes squinting shut as they stayed silent. Aina's question almost feeling as if it cut them, digging into them to peel their heart apart and pull out their secrets to devour.

As Cala opened their eyes, however, they were almost sad as it became obvious that they were not secrets even Cala knew. Instead, softly raising their hands, they gently tangled their fingers with Aina's and drew her hands down to the table, holding them there, and shaking their head as Cala stared down at their joined hands. They almost coughed on the swirl of choked emotions and words they desperately tried to push to the surface. But nothing came for a moment, a long moment, until finally Cala simply shrugged their shoulders.

"I-I don't know..... but I know..... a-at least something does."

Grimacing Cala knew they made no sense and so if Aina let them they would withdraw their hands, though it was a half-hearted effort.

"Please..... I-I don't think..... now is the b-best time. Maybe never. You are very familiar a-and umm...."

That seed of attraction would reassert itself through the confusion briefly and Cala would look into Aina's eyes for a short, silent moment before looking back at the fork they had fiddled with.

"...... unique..... but I can't. I don't know my own secrets."

Cala nodded, once, to Aina's initial question before pursing their lips. Their eyes not leaving the table between the two of them and was more than a little relieved as Aina assured them they didn't have to press themselves into searching for something they didn't seem to possess. As the food was delivered Cala did not even begin to eat, instead they simply nodded once more to Aina's next question about a mental block. Cala's eyes briefly raising up to look at Aina as she smiled and Cala could not help but like that smile. It made them feel better, if only for all the wrong reasons.

At their final question Cala once again nodded, but this time twice, and slowly began to pick at their food. More or less moving it around their plate as their emotions began to dull and fade, the silence of the act of eating dominating the table despite Cala's.... less than normal level of participation in it. From somewhere deep within an emotion not unlike bitterness, but also far from it, was aimed at themselves. They had only just met this person and yet.... they felt so very off-balance. Cala wished none too timidly in their mind that Igen was here to reassure them, or Ariadna was there to hug them, while Cala was far from disliking Aina's personality there was something intrinsic to her that plucked at Cala's seams that they did not even hold against Aina. Rather they resented themselves in no small part for simply being too weak to even hold a conversation. Pathetic as it must have seemed.

Letting out a heavy breathe at that thought Cala actually took a small bite of food and swallowed it down nearly whole, barely chewing it due to their mental distraction before speaking up in a quiet murmur.

"I-I hope I don't bother you a-and I'm sorry if I seem strange. Do you.... Do you remember a-anything about yourself?"

Cala paused, not intending for it to sound like they were just trying to turn the conversation to pressure Aina.

"I-I mean you seem a lot more... a-a lot more.... comfortable. Does nothing c-come to you or... do you have bits and pieces to hold onto?"

Cala said absolutely nothing for a long time, actually taking the time to eat in small, nibbling bites. actually being a bit distracted by the food only for Aina to tap them on the nose and Cala bobbed their head, a small pout on their lips. An expression that many would call cute but it quickly vanished as Cala seriously pondered the questions posed by Aina. As things were currently they remembered nothing and so they shrugged, responding in a slow, uncertain tone.

"W-Well.... I don't... I-I don't know. I haven't experienced both a-and right now since I only feel one I hope the other is better...."

Cala trailed off, their voice briefly dying, before they shook their head.

"But..... I-I don't think I would want to remember EVERYTHING. Just enough to know.... t-to know myself. I feel so confused a-and fragmented everything is so difficult. I-I don't know what you were b-but I feel like it was different enough that you at least get umm.... comparisons? Per.-.... uhh...... Perspective?"

It took Cala a moment to remember the word since they weren't exactly the smartest at the best of times and their current mental state sincerely did not help them remember things. Aina seemed all but a mastermind by comparison to the wide-eyed, hopeful Arrancar that leveled a heart-breakingly sincere, earnest and wide-eyed expression at her. Cala's eyes searching Aina's own for some sort of unspoken answer or insight even as the sun slowly set behind Cala over the horizon, the sunlight turning just the barest hint to a shade of yellow-orange.

Cala had never really considered themselves more focused on one time than any other but listening to Aina's explanation made it make a but of sense to them. If only, at least, because they couldn't remember anything of their past to make it a factor in their life just yet. Whether it was worth considering or not would have to remain to be seen.

As Aina stood and paid for the two of them Cala nearly objected, but, seeing how she seemed happy with the moment, it seemed rude to cause an argument over something she seemed completely willing to do. Cala also wasn't sure they had saved themselves any grief with their mindset, especially considering how everyone seemed to encourage them or tell them to relax. Maybe they were just weak? The thought stung enough that they had to shake their head, tensing out of instinct as Ains grabbed their wrist, but Cala made no move to actually resist. Even though, in all honesty, Aina's description of life sounded a lot more like a recipe for death.....

Nevertheless Cala DID follow a strange girl into the dark, the embrace if nature and the gaze of the stars above. As Aina told them to breathe and feel their own body, and once they had reached a place where Aina felt like stopping, Cala looked down at themselves sheepishly. Gently using one hand to play with their hair, to pull and feel it, their other hand would tug gently at their sweater, confusion evident in their features and tone as they asked.

"F-Feel.... my body? I-I don't understand.... how does feeling my body help me understand the past?"

Cala would look up at Aina with wide, bright pink eyes, a field of stars gently reflected in each, their teeth gently biting their lip as earnest confusion and innocence radiated from that gaze. Those emotions easily able to reach Aina's senses, along with a budding sense of trust there, as Aina's advice was both asked and ever so slightly hoped for.