Supremacy, Sonority, Tranquility [Makoto, Shishiyuki]

It was all coming around to completion. Plans were being finalised and preparations almost complete. Normally she didn't bother trying to appraise people of her operations, when she was available and when she wasn't. It was only by merit of the place that Shishiyuki had in her mind that she even considered it.

There was still reservations though, those same ones that bothered her all this time. The more she thought on it the more doomed it seemed that she'd ever be able to worm the truth out of her without directly challenging her and making it obvious. Makoto didn't want that though, she wanted clarity and she wanted it without her knowing what it was about.

It was a strange thing for her to do though, invite Shishiyuki to her quarters for a meal and make it personal like this to explain her situation. It made her feel nervous having what she considered could be the most despicable and terrifying person of her past in this space but it was also somewhat relaxing to feel like she controlled the situation.

It would be the first time she had decided the terms of their meetings. The location, the time, what was happening. Until now it had all been decided by Shishiyuki on her terms. Tonight was different though.

This was rather peculiar, wasn't it? It was quite uncommon that Shishiyuki was invited much of anywhere beyond those formal gatherings of nobility that she so loathed. To be asked to her student's domicile was quite rare indeed, but she would never have thought to decline the offer. Makoto was, after all, someone that Shishiyuki considered a bit special.

Knocking on the door, she almost wondered if she ought to have brought some sort of gift. That was generally considered polite, after all, though she felt it may well have set something of an incorrect tone. Those gifts were the trappings of higher society, of lives filled with false premises and hidden intent. That was not what Shishiyuki ever intended to foster between the two of them.

When she heard the knock there was a brief pause from hesitation, what was she doing? Makoto hated that there was that feeling though it felt a bit cathartic to hear it after the anticipation all afternoon for it. A couple of moments later and she opened the door to greet Shishiyuki with a small bow. As far as her outfit went it was still her shihakusho, it was rare that she wore anything else since she worked so much that it felt normal to just wear it in her spare time as well.

"Please come in, Lady Shishiyuki."

If a person's space was reflective of them as a person then Makoto's was minimalistic like she tried to intentionally convey nothing in its appearance. There was nothing that implied anything about who she was as a person in its design.

"Would you like any tea?"

She asked while going to make some anyway. It was something she needed regardless of whether Shishiyuki wanted some or not.

"Tea would be quite lovely, Makoto. Thank you."

Offering her own bow in return, Shishiyuki entered into the room with a polite smile, inspecting the place quite quickly. It was quite plain, and certainly small, but there was a charm to that simplicity that she had to appreciate. It was so very different from the endless splendor that many in the Seireitei chose to fill their lives with.

"I must thank you for the invitation, of course. It is quite an honor to be asked to come for dinner with a student, you know. As a teacher, I feel as though you have taken me to be of worth in your life."

That was probably underselling things a touch, but Shishiyuki wasn't one to boast about herself much, even if she might have liked to now and again. Besides, there were other reasons she could feasibly have been asked here. She could not say whether this was, ultimately, even to be a pleasant visit.

A small pause in her thought occurred while she worked on brewing the tea. It was strange to hear her say an honour, to say she felt that she was valued. It made her feel a little sick, was she lying about it to throw her off? If she was genuine then Makoto only felt worse about her feelings. Her instincts which she used to trust felt so torn between the bias of her obssession and denial of that same obsession.

After it was complete she knelt down and placed the pot on the table while gesturing for Shishiyuki to sit. Her hand gesture indicated nowhere in particular; opposite or next to her was all the same. While she got comfortable the hostess made sure to pour out the tea between them and give a weak smile.

"Right.. I appreciate the time and effort you put into training me. I think you do more for me than I would expect from many other teachers."

Was it guilt? Did she know and regretted it? How was she still considering these things like they were certainty and assume guilt? Her red eyes avoided her teacher's own when she sipped at the tea.

"I wanted to inform you in person, I'll be away for a while.. an assignment I am undertaking."

Taking a seat across from Makoto in a quite formal seiza, Shishiyuki accepted a cup of tea with a small smile. It was rare that she offered such a genuine gesture, considering the vast majority of the time she displayed nothing more than a mask to those who were not her family.

"I suppose that I do give you much more of my attention than most teachers would give to a student, even those students they have given personal teaching. But I think that it would be a slight to us both if I did not give you all that I am capable of."

Ah, so that was what she had wished to discuss. Shishiyuki had to admit that she did find the thought of their lessons being put on hold faintly disappointing. They were quite cathartic, and she imagined that she gained nearly as much as Makoto. Then again, perhaps she was simply overestimating it all on account of its rarity. She did find few opportunities to truly speak with anyone.

"I will not ask about the specifics, as I take it from your manner of speech that this is not a clandestine affair. Do keep what I have taught you in mind, and I wish you safe travels."

Knives were stabbing into her. All the gestures, whether genuine or not, as far as she was concerned were just that. Makoto tried to return a smile at the wish of safe travels but felt like it fell way too short to be considered genuine when her eyes couldn't hide the inner turmoil. It wasn't fair. It isn't fair.

"I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind. It's so rude to get distracted like right now... with you."

The tea went down slowly for her while watching Shishiyuki but keeping her eyes away from her own. Makoto didn't care about the fact it was burning her mouth when she had so much else on her mind.

"It is quite alright. I understand that maintaining such secrecy is quite taxing, and can easily lead the mind a bit astray at times."

She did, indeed, understand that all too well. Shishiyuki had practiced such things for a great many years, after all. It had taken her many decades to simply think in such a way, without needing to focus herself on keeping secrets. She knew it would only be a detriment to Makoto if she pressed her on those secrets.

"I will listen to whatever you are willing or able to say, and I will not ask anything of you that you could not speak of."

There was a long drawn out silence when the air between them was left open for her to speak if she wished. Makoto's eyes tried to look at her quickly emptying cup of tea though as a distraction from that. Those same issues stuck out to her as they did before, the feeling that she couldn't say any of it to Shishiyuki on the chance that it was her.

"Thank you it's just that I don't know if I can tell you what's on my mind."

Her posture leaned forward when she slumped, still her head tried to think of a way to trust her. Makoto felt stupid for not trusting her when she had done so much for her and seemed so genuine but she was still a person and sharing her past with her, even if she wasn't that woman still meant handing over her most vulnerable bits of herself to another person.

The last person she gave them to just hurt her with them. She didn't want to feel that way again, she just wanted security and to feel alright which up to now the person who was best suited to do that was herself. No one else.

"I'm really sorry. I, I have no right to ask this but I really do want to trust you."

It was frustrating and humilating, the most memorable part of that woman from the night where the comforting action at the end and the way she delivered it was the only point where her mind wasn't clouded by going into shock at the scene before it all hit her younger self like a truck and she passed out among the bloody scene. There wasn't a chance that she had the guts to keep her eyes open out of the risk of dying from shame as she asked it.

"Could you kiss me?"

It was for the best that Shishiyuki excelled at hiding her emotions, for at the moment she did not have even the remotest idea how she was intended to respond to such a request. Was it genuine? Was this some degree of test on Makoto's part? She doubted that Makoto would be the sort to simply invite her here on some romantic pretext without making it clear.

"You are asking a great deal, you know. To ask something so intimate of the head of a noble house is no meager thing. It is not something I can do freely."

Still, it did nag at Shishiyuki why Makoto would even wish for such a thing. She doubted that she could agree to it, but there was still that part of her which demanded answers, demanded clarity on the matter.

"I have faith that this is not simply some manner of romantic gesture, Makoto. But I have remained pure for the sake of my training and my family's pride for the whole of my life. You are a dear student, but I cannot simply acquiesce to such a thing on the sole merit that you have asked it of me. What has led you to this request?"