Supremacy, Sonority, Tranquility [Makoto, Shishiyuki]

"Right."

It was important to her and she had put it aside to have faith in Shishiyuki and her word, a word of a person that she still didn't really know when she was honest and when she wasn't. It left her a bit uneasy but Shishiyuki had given her something that she hadn't had in a while in exchange.

"That means a lot to me."

She left it unsaid where she wanted to ask that she never betray her and the lingering thought that if she did betray her trust then she'd dedicate herself to killing her. An overreaction? Yes. She was aware of that but it did mean enough to her that an extreme reaction was what she would do if it came down to it.

"I should make dinner. I'm being an awful hostess."

For the first time she smiled to Shishiyuki it didn't feel forced or with lingering doubts, it was just satisfied and happy in the moment after her tears were wiped away and she got up to start getting herself ready to start cooking.

"Now now, you are hardly being awful. Consider this simply an extension of the natural conversation over tea."

It was genuinely pleasant, to see Makoto smile in such a way. She had no reason to smile if she did not mean it genuinely, and knowing that brought a certain warmth to Shishiyuki's chest. She was growing quite soft in her old age, wasn't she? Or was it simply the understanding she had with Makoto that created such a connection?

"I do look forward to whatever you might make. I had intended to discuss a few lighter lessons that you might take with you on this assignment, but I would much rather speak on more casual topics. I believe it would be more pleasant tonight."

Despite the kind words Makoto did suspect that this wasn't really something that happened over tea with people in a normal situation. Though she would be hesitant to refer to the two of them as normal people in an everyday situation right now. Makoto's thoughts wandered as she worked before she was interupted again and felt a little sheepish.

She had neither asked Shishiyuki prior as to what she liked or even told her what she intended to make. If she really thought about the fact she was making oden, it would normally barely cross her mind until she remembered that Shishiyuki was from nobility. This was pretty simple, right? Though from what she knew and had experienced, she was not a woman that would like to be treated as nobility. She was just Shishiyuki to her even if Lady Shishiyuki helped her have that boundary before.

"Im just making oden. I hope it tastes alright. Um, what kind of casual topics did you want to talk about?"

Shishiyuki was honestly rather fond of simpler meals, generally preferring something that she could enjoy without needing to take extra steps just to eat. The fanciful meals so common among the nobility weren't quite to her liking, so it was always pleasant to have something as to the point as a nabemono.

"Simple small talk. I believe I have not shared as much with you as would be reasonable, given the time we have spent together in lessons. What is it you do in the Gotei? I know you are an officer in the First Division, but what do your typical duties entail?"

Admittedly, she knew asking about her work might have been less than ideal as small talk, but it was something to break the ice and move toward lighter conversation. Personal talk was something more difficult to move into, though she nevertheless would like to move toward it eventually.

What she did. Well it was pretty harmless to tell her that she supposed. Makoto's hands kept working while forming what she thought was a general idea of her own responsibilities as the fourth seated officer, deciding to also explain what she used to do as well in the process.

"I work mostly in the administration of the Rukongai's renovation. Before that I focused a lot more on general administration such as assigning values of kan onto hollows, designating hollows for hunting and the like."

Makoto took a step back to let it simmer for a bit and let her hair down with a small massage of her scalp to the lingering pain from doing her hair so tight, one day she'd stop doing it so tight like she always ended up doing. She didn't know whether to use this opportunity to ask her own question or not, there was still the matter of whether Shishiyuki would answer something honestly or withhold it. Sometimes she might be telling the truth and Makoto didn't know whether to believe her.

Well, there was one thing she knew [trusted] that wasn't lying about.

"I'm a little confused. You said you've never had your first kiss but before it didn't really feel like the kiss part mattered."

She knew that Shishiyuki was not young but she also didn't know exactly how old she was either. It made her wonder if she had really never found anyone that made her happy like that. Even though she soured towards people, Makoto still put a lot of merit on first-time experiences and if one had the power to, then they should decide of their own will when and who to do them with. It was something to be selfish about.

"Ah, I see. That is quite an impressive job, I would think. A great deal of trust and responsibility placed on you, though I would not imagine it is misplaced."

Ah, now that was a question Shishiyuki could answer with all possible truthfulness. There was nothing about it which particularly required hiding, and the matter of her not being married was rather obviously public knowledge. To establish an elaborate tale as to why would be far more difficult than to make it clear how unremarkable it was.

"That is true, yes. If I am being quite honest, I have never found anyone so charming as to draw my attention away from hakuda or from my family matters. I suppose, in theory, there may well be some fine man in Soul Society waiting to win me over, but I am not searching. I have been quite content for these past centuries, and I imagine I will be content for many more."

That was all there was to it, really. She couldn't quite bring herself to look for a man when she had other responsibilities to hold herself to.

"I see."

That was a big difference between them. She thought she was weak and tried to prevent getting hurt again by preventing people getting close to her. Shishiyuki wasn't like that, she was strong.

"Well, I'm still sorry about asking for it. It shouldn't be something you just give to someone because they ask, you should want to do it and it should be with someone special to you. Doesn't it ever make you feel lonely like that though?"

It was hypocritical and contradictory to ask this of course, she wanted to be able to exist alone and not have it affect her the same way she wished she wished that she didn't hate people and could look at them like she used to when she was younger and more naive.

"To be fair, Makoto, I should think you are someone special to me, even if not in the way I imagine you had meant."

Shishiyuki laughed quietly at that, finding herself at least a bit funny. Besides, she'd meant to lighten the mood, hadn't she? She imagined that would certainly do the job.

"Not especially. I imagine I might well be quite happy if I did marry, but I do not feel alone without a lover. I have my family, I have friends. I should think evenings like these are every bit as fulfilling to the heart as whatever a romantic partner might offer to me."

She wasn't exactly a romantic.

"Wh- wait a minute, don't just say things like that."

Her cheeks went red and she looked away, jeez. She hadn't gotten flustered in a long time from someone's comments. Maybe amused but she had a way of not letting people's words embarrass her in a way like this, well Abalia was different when their first night had her speaking with really weird implications that she thought that only she was picking up in their talk.

It didn't help the initial reaction to get a bit shy at the small joke was like a snowball growing as it rolled down a mountain. It made her realise how much much power Shishiyuki had over her now.

"I guess you're right, Shishiyuki. I can't say I really see romance as a positive thing anymore and it's not my place to ask about that part of you life either. I don't want to seem like I am telling you one way or another though. I don't think people should be naive and think it's a good thing but I also don't want to be an example of why it's bad or have people to pity me for it."

She poured some more tea for herself and took another sip when she finished her explanation. The attempt to clarify it in hindsight was probably unnecessary Makoto thought, Shishiyuki was a lot more sound and sure of herself than she was. Makoto's lifestyle was as detrimental to herself as it was beneficial for others with the way those frustrations got pushed aside so she could focus on her work for some distraction.

"My apologies, though I did mean it quite genuinely, you know."

Shishiyuki did, quite genuinely, see Makoto as someone special, above the vast majority that she simply had no time to consider. She naturally would still prioritize her family no matter what, but Makoto, at least, would take priority over any strangers. Such was the benefit of being a favored student, she supposed, and one of the few who could understand her.

"I think love is a complicated matter. It can drive us to make quite terrible decisions, but it also seems to give people inspiration far beyond most things. You are well-read, yes? I imagine you have, at least in passing, heard the tale of my younger sister and her exile?"

It was, after all, one of the most prolific things to occur those many years ago. Unprecedented, at the time, and a headache for quite literally all involved. And, at the center of the affair, a love story.