Sunshine's The Worst Medicine [Komugi, Igen]

Devastation, that was likely what would describe how she felt. Komugi wasn't going to pretend she felt any sensation of 'home' within the Seireitei, at least without her family here with her.

But the people here... The many faces and friendships she had, even looking upon the expanse behind white walls... She couldn't help but feel her heart sink. Was this really as well as they managed to defend the place? She almost dreaded hearing the inevitable casualty report; the only thing keeping her from working was the fact she'd probably be picked up and dragged off to bed again, at least up on the roof she had some time to contemplate... Even as the sun began baring down on her.

Slowly lying back, she'd look at those bright skies, squinting her eyes as she was poorly adapted to looking plainly at the daytime sky. Exhausted, but unwilling to sleep - after a few rounds of healing she was at least nimble enough to crawl out her window and get up here. She couldn't sleep, not without the realizing someone she once idolized as a hero, had been one of the orchestrators of the deaths of thousands haunting her mind.

She didn't know what to do, all she could think of was to give herself some punishment by resting in the unfiltered sun, for her own personal failure.. She couldn't even kill an invader, and hurt a comrade by mistake in the process of helping him. She had to do better, but right now she just wanted to feel as weak as the many who died, in their memory.

Her squinted eyes floated to the only mote of darkness shielding her from the sun's accursed glare, her brow scrunched up as her dazed state made sense of what her eyes caught,

"You're not Taro..." Her tone was a bit mopey, rasped from thirst as her small form would roll back into the light of the sun, "..Course not, Taro's not even here... He's stuck like everybody else in the World of the Living..."

She sniffed gently, her eyes burning with misery, "I don't wanna move, Gyakusuma-san... Not til my pain's even a bit measurable to everyone who's gone... Everyone that couldn't be saved.."

Her face scrunched with Ko's loud call for her to get back down, her claws in the grooves of the roof. Killer headache, she realized, sniffling at Igen's request.

"..The Eighth's barracks.." Her little voice rasped, "..Taro liked them a lot... How am I supposed to explain to em they're all messed up when he gets back..?"

Tears started beading in her squinted gaze, brows turned up to squeeze against each other in aching sadness, "He'll be crushed... He might just give up on his dream to be an architect some day... He wanted to help build our new home in the Seireitei when we could afford it..."

She couldn't hold it back anymore, "It's not fair...! It's not fair...! Why did this have to happen again..?!"

Words blubbered and degraded into pure sobbings, weakly wailing as the embarrassment of crying in front of someone else was greatly outweighed by the overwhelming sensation of the only betterment being utterly knocked out once again.

Ugh, she was crying like a stupid baby kit, but she just couldn't stop once the first tear had slipped free. Old frustrations and memories bubbled to the surface alongside new wounds and worries - they'd just suffered another major attack and they couldn't prevent the worst of it, they'd failed to keep the Seireitei safe. Once again after what felt so long, she was in doubt of if this was really the place her family should be. Sure the outer districts weren't at all safe or prosperous to live in, but at least they were far out of the way of these deadly invasions...

In a more reasonable mood, she would've reaffirmed herself, but right now she was still suffering and exhausted - she couldn't help but think and feel more unreasonably; about half her body was burnt and she was still healing. She couldn't help but cast some doubt on her decision to be so far from them for so long if the place of safety she's worked so hard and saved up so much for would just... Crumble!

Her tears only wavered a little bit when Igen tried to cheer her up with good prospects on everything being build back better than ever, her messy droopy face looking at him through barely opened eyes and flowing tears wetting her face and blurring her vision. By now, Nara-chan would've started pinching her cheeks to distract her from the tears, or Oji-san would've given her a friendly ruffling of her hair, or even one of her cousins would've thrown her over or onto their shoulders and parade her around to cheer her up... But she was surprised to feel herself suddenly be picked up, initially frightened by the sensation of falling by quickly grabbing onto the nearest thing - Igen himself that is - thankfully realizing before she put claws in him.

It was enough to distract her from crying, least for a moment, sniffling as her friend sought to comfort her about the situation... He was right... Even if they couldn't bring anyone who had died back, at least they could rebuild.. The Seireitei could be made even better than before... She was just too sad, pained, and tired right now to consider the bigger picture like she normally would.

"N..No.." Her miserable voice bumbled out, "..If I tried i'd probably fall n' break something... Hah..."

With a brief swallow, she'd force some kind of smile, "..Thanks Igen."

Still sniffling and sopping, her face pressed against Igen's chest as he got the two of them down from the roof, a miserable expression only slightly perked up by being in the shade of the room. Without the sunlight baring down on her, she was definitely starting to look more awake - at least for someone severely past their typical bedtime. A little whimper preceded her answer to this question, having heard her comrade's concern for others; it made a weary smile grow on her tearful face - that even in this terrible circumstance, Igendai was still looking out for everyone.

"My insides hurt," She'd weakly huff, "And my skin kinda still feels like it's boiling... I just feel real weak overall," Tears welled in her eyes when her thoughts drew unto all the people suffering from this attack, "..It's not like i'm even the worst, I shouldn't be acting like i've got it so bad when everyone's doing way worse than I am..."

Her clawed fingers dug into the sheets as her face scrunched, brief sniffs to draw up her dripping noise, "...Left and right, everyone's lost somebody - I got lucky this time. I don't have to go through that... But that doesn't feel fair. It's not fair, Igendai-san..!"

She couldn't help but falter into another slew of tears, "A buncha people's families are broken now and we could hardly do much against it..! It's the stupid demons all over again! Why couldn't we be ready?!"