Stressed Decisions [Hiroe/Hana]

Yesterday was a complete bust. Hana was experiencing mental whiplash, and her confidence continued to fluctuate. Try, don't try? Fight, don't fight? Shinigami or wife? Ugh! This was so frustrating and nothing she did lessened that! That's why she called Hiroe and wanted to hang out. Maybe her friend could help her with some important decisions. At this point, it was the only option she felt she had.

Sitting at one of her parents cafe's, Hana waited with two smoothies and a few random snacks at a table. Everything was already paid for. She was zoning out, nails tapping the side of her cup, day dreaming like she always had. She wouldn't easily notice Hiroe's approach, but that was something they were both used to.

Another day to hang out with one of her besties was an opportunity Hiroe would never pass up, particularly because such outings equaled enjoying fine conversation with her friend and enjoying the perks of free food, snacks, or anything else the woman offered. She certainly couldn't afford it herself half the time, after all. And that was accounting for the shop she ran back in her hometown in the Rukongai. Several quick strides allowed her to arrive in record time as the woman stepped toward where her friend sat, occupying a seat across from her. Noting her daydreaming expression, Hiroe tilted her head in curiosity. Offering a bright smile to set the mood, Hiroe playfully shot a finger at Hana.

"Heya there, Hana! How has everything been~?"

Hana was startled from her thoughts. She looked up and an instant relief came over her. She stood up quickly and practically threw herself into a hug with Hiroe. She held on tight for a few moments, likely a bit awkward, before letting her go.

"I have no idea where to start."

Hana gestured for Hiroe to sit, showing what was an almost lost smile on her face, one of actual joy. Once Hiroe sat, she did as well. Taking a deep breath, she visibly calmed herself down. Taking a quick sip from her favorite smoothie, Hana started.

"My apologies if I was dazing out. I have a lot on my mind," Hana said, gesturing to the food so Hiroe knew they were to be shared. "How have you been doing? I was glad to hear about your shikai... When are you going to be graduating?"

"Your always daydreaming, Hana. Don't worry about that too much. I'm happy to see you!"

Hiroe blinked softly as she felt herself pulled into a tight hug by her friend, visibly surprised though far from taken aback. Once they were properly seated, Hiroe wasted no time in indulging in the food set across the table. Chewing on a few of the snacks as an appetizer, she settled into listening to the woman speak. Leaning against the chair a little, Hiroe offered a prideful smile. She hadn't graduated yet, but she definitely learned a few things. And she had two men who were invested in her progress, too!

"I know, right? I've been training nonstop ever since. I've got a captain and a former captain - who is also my instructor - that have significant interest in my progress. As far as actual graduation goes... huh, you know, I can't say. Not to toot my horn, but I think I'm capable enough to be a seated member. On the other hand, I still feel I need a little more to learn, you know? Cultivate my kido, my hoho, my hakuda... the works.'

Hana knew it. Hiroe was way beyond her. While she was proud of her friend, this disgusting feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. She hated feeling bad about Hiroe; it felt like she wanted someone she cared about to do poorly. That wasn't the case, truthfully; Hana just wasn't used to this much disappointment in her own life.

"I'm... jealous," Hana muttered, a forced smile betrayed by a slight quiver and glossy eyes. "I haven't done any of that. So much for being a graduate, huh? I'm pathetic..."

In the academy, Hana was always confident, even helping other students study. When she graduated, it was expected. She was in the tops of most of her classes. But now... The mask she once wore was shattering, bits and pieces falling and fading, revealing nothing more than a depressed and weak young woman.

"I'm sorry," Hana brought her sleeves up and wiped her eyes dry. "We didn't meet up to unload my problems on you. So, tell me, who are these men? You said it almost like you may have a boyfriend soon." Hana... was never interested in boy talk...

Hiroe was honestly rendered speechless for a moment, golden eyes blinking in confusion as she tilted her head. Jealous? Of her of all people? The aspiring Shinigami never would have humored the thought. She was prideful about how far she had come, of course, but she still recognized that she was little more than a commoner from the Rukongai who had earned her keep through effort and just the slightest pinch of luck.

It made the atmosphere awkward, but Hiroe wasn't going to let her friend fester in soul-crippling self doubt. Pausing in her enjoyment of her snacks, she clapped her hands together as she winked softly. Reaching in to ruffle her hair, she shook her head. She wasn't pathetic in her eyes. She graduated from the academy, after all. No matter how far Hiroe got, she would never look down on her friends.

"Hey now... none of that. You're not pathetic. You were always one of the best students in the classes we shared together. It's okay if you hit a snag in the road and fall into a rut. I'd be a terrible friend if my buddies couldn't speak to me about their problems, you know? Anyway, no... I don't have a boyfriend yet. These men are certainly handsome, though. I'd date them if they weren't my instructors. Their names are Yuuto Hisakawa and Byakuya Kuchiki! Pretty cool, huh~?"

Hana kept up a small smile, her head reflexively lowering like a puppy avoiding a scolding from their owner, but she still accepted the hair ruffle. Taking up her drink, she tried to clam herself down, but when certain names came up... Hana's body suddenly didn't work right. The shock sent smoothie down the wrong pipe. She lightly tapped her chest and held a clean napkin over her mouth as she coughed and caught her breath. Once she could breathe, Hana cleared her throat and stared with wide eyes. That was the most unexpected thing... Both of them!?

"You are not playing a joke, are you? You are truly training under both Captain Hisakawa and Lord Kuchiki?" Hana asked, the surprise still clear on her face. "My Father only wishes he could speak to Lord Kuchiki. I could see him bowing down and kissing that man's feet to set up a suitor's meeting. How did you manage that?"

"Nope. Not at all. Honestly, I'm still shocked about it myself. Captain Hisakawa was already sort of like an instructor to me already, but during a period of time where I was going through a time of self-doubt, he sat down and talked with me, and reminded me of why I started all of this to begin with. After that, we crossed blades, and that is actually where I learned my Shikai. Needless to say, he's been interested in my progress ever since. As for Kuchiki-San..."

Hiroe leaned against the chair, stroking her chin. She still couldn't wrap her head around it. Byakuya Kuchiki instructing a mere commoner from the slums? It almost felt like she was experiencing a dream each day she woke up. Continuing on, she would tap her fingers against the desk.

"His was a little shocking. He visited our classes. I put on a pretty impressive performance and I even displayed my Shikai... but then I had an accident. I expected he'd overlook me because of it, but that was the total opposite. He took me off to his infirmary, and offered his tutelage. Of course, I accepted it without question."

"You would be insane not to," Hana said, going quiet for a while.

Hana's mind became a whirlwind of self-doubt and self-depreciation after hearing all that. She had no shikai, never even heard a word. She had no trainer, and no one interested in her progress. Her own parents don't even care. She kept failing at her missions, so she had no reason to even be in the Gotei. Her own Captain made it clear that she wasn't worth the time. Hana's head popped back out of her thoughts.

"I am quitting soon." she said with a smile. "Turns out, I suck, and there is no point in trying, so I plan to move to the world of the living to learn to be a person there."

"What? What are you saying, Hana?"

Hiroe genuinely couldn't believe her ears. She had already been planning on following Hana into the seventh division, envisioned a future where they fought side by side together as partners on the battlefield, and now she was hanging it up? This early? What the hell happened to throw her into this state of mind? Had someone insulted her? Told her she wasn't cut out for it? Was she fired? Hiroe took a deep breath, taking a moment to figure out how to help draw her away from this unreasonable state of mind.

"Who filled your ears with any of this nonsense? No friend of mine is allowed to just go off into the sunset like that! It's lame! Your far too cool to just settled down on earth yet. You have so much to do. Show me where these assholes are, and I'll give them a piece of my mind!"