A Hollow Defeat (Heaven's Light Follow-up) [Shura/Lerna]

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Soundscape to Ardor

Damn it all! Damn it all to the depths of hell! Those were Shura's thoughts as she carried Lerna through the Senkaimon, she was certain they could've won! She knew it was true within the core of her very being! Yet Lerna had interrupted her would-be assault against Metatron, forcing what some would call a tactical withdraw... but not Shura. Shura saw this as naught more than a straight up defeat. A stain on her otherwise near perfect record against hollows. But this wasn't about pride far from it, if it was about pride she wouldn't have used a single kido spell within that battle yet she'd used several.

No this was about the fact that this Mod Soul had interrupted her fight, this was why nobody except Fourth Division Members should've been with her. Her squad knew better than to dare get in her way, they'd of let her cut that creature down even if it cost Shura her life... for that was the way of the Death Division. But Lerna? She wasn't apart of the Fourth, she didn't understand how they operated. Whether she cared or not didn't matter to Shura, and it was the only reason she didn't cut Lerna down right then and there.

But now wasn't the time for such thoughts. "Get the healers! Now!" She commanded as she slowly set Lerna down out of the way of the main Senkaimon Gate, tearing off pieces of her Shihakashou to begin wrapping parts of Lerna's limbs to staunch and slow the bleeding she was undoubtedly suffering from having tanked the rather considerably powerful attack that Metatron had released. "Stupid girl..." She muttered as she did so.

It was undoubtable that Lerna saved Shura's life, even had her attack worked the amount of damage Shura would've sustained would've undoubtedly left her in critical condition at best... and no longer alive at worse. She owed this girl a debt of greater value than any nobility could provide in repayment. She owed Lerna her life.

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Soundscape to Ardor

"Shut up." Shura responded when Lerna tried to say she was fine, softly at first. However the moment she began to hear the word 'Kido' leave her mouth, Shura's hand rocketed up to cover the girls mouth with a tight grip "Shut. Up. Never mention what I did." Her tone was now far more serious, her eyes locked with Lerna before she released her grip and continued to do what she could to staunch the bleeding.

"Even as a mod soul your body is still important, if it is rendered incapacitated, the state of your pill will be meaningless. So just shut up and wait for the medics." Especially with the influx of retreating Shinigami she didn't want what she did spilled so casually "My usage of kido is a secret." She said in a more hushed tone now "I intend on keeping it that way as well, I have a... history of belittling it. It is only recently that I've come to appreciate its power, however it is something of a trump card for me at the moment, while not as directly powerful as my Bankai it is a tool that can be potent enough to inflict severe damage none-the-less. You're the first one outside of my private training to witness my ability to use kido, and truth be told I wasn't intending on using it even in that battle however that hollow proved to be significantly more powerful than I anticipated... and as much as it pains me to admit, this defeat puts a rather large blemish on my neigh perfect record against hollows. He is the first, and so far only, hollow to overpower me in combat."

She had hoped that Lerna would at least be willing to acquiesce to her request of silence on the matter. "Additionally what you did back there was reckless, stupid, and something none from my division would think of ever doing... yet I would most assuredly be in critical condition at best and dead in any other circumstance. I won't say that I wanted you to do what you did, but knowing what I now know I can't very well let it go unappreciated. That is why I brought you back here you stupid girl."

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Soundscape to Ardor

Shura was... well, caught quite off guard with that first remark, to the point of pulling back with a light red line appearing across her face. Despite Lerna seeming to find it quite funny, Shura found no comedy in the remarks she had just made. "You are not apart of the Combat Division, so I do not expect you to understand our methodology. However if we die in battle that is simply apart of our duty nothing more, and to have the ability to attack when he is otherwise preoccupied gives one a far greater advantage than when he is capable of reacting."

It wasn't that Shura was stupid or had a death wish, but rather she cared not if she died if it gave her a chance to eliminate a threat to Soul Society. When the medics finally arrived, Shura took a step back to allow them to do their job, staring down at Lerna both with a look of frustration but also... concern? Though what that concern was, was rather up to interpretation. But when Lerna dismissed her Shura simply stared for a moment longer before closing her eyes and turning away to the a few of the other awaiting medics.

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Soundscape to Ardor

Gods this was why she hated not fighting a battle with the other members of the Fourth, the rest of the GU simply didn't understand them. Their entire job was to be the first on the battlefield, to ensure the enemies of the Gotei were removed. What was the point in them surviving if they failed to do their duty? No, if they were to die, then it was best to be while removing an enemy of the Gotei. Better to die and live on in the annals of Soul Society a hero than to live on in failure. But perhaps she was being too harsh towards Lerna in this scenario, she was just a Mod Soul after all, not a true Shinigami.

However it was around this time that it had all begun to catch up to her, the wounds... the pain... the blood and Reiatsu loss. She wasn't in critical condition or anything, but the wounds she'd sustained were visible enough to warrant at least partially listening as the medics coaxed her to sit against the wall. Her face was burned, several bones were broken or fractured, and the amount of Reiatsu she'd expended made her incapable of further battle for no small amount of time.

Her time sitting here gave her time to pause and reflect upon what she'd fought against, a hollow... claiming to have the favor of God. As her head leaned back against the wall, her eyes were drawn upwards to the sky. She knew such a thing was preposterous, she knew that to be a truth so deeply entrenched in her very being. Outside of the simple fact that Shinigami were the Will of God, her very Zanpakuto was named for what it was designed for. Destruction on a Divine scale. Yet in spite of all this, he had blocked each and every attack as if it were nothing.

It gave her pause when she thought about it, about whether her Zanpakuto was at its peak... or if her Bankai had but a fraction of its true power. What if what she had currently was only what she wanted? What if her connection to Hakaishin was still in its infancy? She had Bankai sure... However despite that its power wasn't enough. Perhaps she should've led with Tenbatsu from the beginning, maybe then she'd of been able to do something to it.... or perhaps she was simply.... too weak.

In all the time she spent thinking, she hadn't even realized the healers had finished their work and left, her eyes glossy and staring off into the distant sky above her, reflective of the admittedly rather deep thought she was in right now.

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!

TAGS; - here NOTES; - here WORDS; - here MUSE; - Soundscape to Ardor

For one of her caliber to be so oblivious to her surroundings that she hadn't noticed the door open, let alone for another's presence so close to her... It was probably the first time anyone had gotten so close to her without any reaction from her. Such was her mental state right now that she cared not for her surroundings or those that resided within them, even when Lerna had spoken up Shura gave no immediate response or reaction. Not even so much as a head tilt in her direction or a grunt was given, however that didn't mean she didn't hear Lerna's words.

Rather she was thinking now of how to respond to them, and when she finally found the right words some one or two minutes later she spoke with an oddly soft and distant response "Because... it isn't right." She said at first, but took a few more moments before clarifying "Before all of this... before the Gotei United, before the Gotei 13, before I ever picked up an Asauchi, I was the daughter of a simple Butcher within the Rukongai, born into expectation of running the business and helping it grow. But I never liked that idea, it was too... mundane for me."

Even now she continued to stare off into the distance, as if recalling a distant memory she'd rather forget existed "Unlike my brother I was rowdy, feisty... unable to sit still for more than a moment before needing to burn off excess energy. So I joined a Kendo club, I learned there that I had a knack for fighting... a knack for hurting others that got in my way. It took some time, but eventually I became the head of security for my family, and I was damned good at it. The Butcher of the Rukongai." She said those last words with an amount of reverence, not for herself... but what it symbolized.

"I was untouchable, capable of cutting down anyone and anything. Nothing could stop me. But ever the disappointment, my father insisted I joined the Gotei and train at the Shin’o Academy. I scoffed at the idea, what could they possibly teach me? There wasn't a soul in Soul Society that could face me and win, plus it'd just be more restrictive, I'd still be... collared. Controlled but by another hand, a puppet with a different master. But I eventually acquiesced to him, as a good girl always does. I wanted to prove to him that I was worth something, that he needn't see me as just an embarrassment besmirching the Kurata name."

Truthfully... that was the core of what drove her, but of course this was all needed to set the scene for why she looked down on Kido so heavily. "My raw strength was all I ever needed, even in the academy though it nearly got me expelled. When finally I graduated my placement wasn't even up for debate, my violent nature meant there was only one squad that I not only fit into, but only one that would take me... Zaraki Kenpachi."

Everyone knew that name within Soul Society, everyone knew his hard stance on Kido... and everyone knew what it was like to be in his squad. Of course she could stop talking and let it end at that, but in truth... that wasn't the reason she hated Kido so much. Her right hand raised from the bed, her palm turning to face her as it rested in front of her face "He taught me everything I needed to know, about ruthless efficiency... the lack of any need in finesse in battle, and how to enjoy the thrill of a fight to the death."

It was now that her hand fell back to the bed "But he isn't the reason I hate Kido... he isn't the reason I despise it so much. For all the fighting and training I did in the 11th, it never taught me anything beyond just fighting. I had a Shikai but not a Bankai, and though I could likely be considered among the strongest within the 11th that one difference set me apart from all others. Up to that point I'd only been doing it to try and make my Father proud of me, to see me with eyes of worth to the family name."

She paused now, her head turning to Lerna "Have you ever felt a need so great that your mind lost focus on all but that need? That everything that wasn't that need was so utterly insignificant that anything and everything else lost all meaning? That even your own life meant nothing by comparison?" She paused to give Lerna some time to contemplate and respond before continuing "I hadn't... not until Hitoshi was born. When I held him in my arms after his birth... something changed in me, I can't really describe what it felt like or was... or is... but I knew when I looked upon him that I needed my Bankai. Not for the Gotei, not to impress my Father... But to protect my new baby Brother. I needed strength so overwhelming that no matter who I fought, victory was assured. So I trained from that day on, to gain my Bankai. Day and night I toiled away with my Zanpakuto, sleeping only when my body gave out on me and fell unconscious. When my Spirit finally ordained me ready for my trial..."

She finally paused, her head turning away from Lerna and staring off into space once more for several minutes in silence before she spoke again "It... was a brutal affair. It was the first time I'd ever tried kido in battle, but it failed me entirely. It mattered not what spell I used, or how much energy I put into it... it did nothing to Hakaishin, or rather... it did nothiing to Shinmetsu Tei. He didn't just shrug it off, he allowed every single one to hit him directly and it didn't even leave so much as a scratch. In the end all the academy training failed me, and it wasn't until I simply embraced who I was at my core that I barely managed to scrape out my victory. It's the reason it took me almost eleven years to get my fledgling bankai, and ever since my spirit has been almost entirely silent. Rare is it when I hear its voice, I've spent weeks in my inner world trying to get it to speak to me, only for its cold silence to be its response. In the last Two-Hundred and Sixty Six years, Hakaishin has spoken a grand total of four times. The first? When it granted me Bankai, the second was when the Gotei United was reformed and I moved to the Fourth, The third was when I fought Kanae, and the fourth..."

She stopped entirely, once more raising her hand up to stare at it before her head turned towards her Zanpakuto, resting on the table next to her bed "When we were fighting that hollow." She spoke those last few words almost with a sense of self-loathing. Sure she'd given Lerna a bit more than she'd asked for, she'd told Lerna why she hated Kido so much, a fact that in truth... nobody else knew, but she'd told her exactly how her relationship with her Zanpakuto functioned for the past several hundred years. But in truth it was all related to her question. "Hakaishin's form is the manifestation of raw strength, tall, physically imposing like Zaraki, adorned with heavy armor that protects him from all but the strongest of attacks. He detests the weak and unworthy, just like Zaraki. It is my belief that my admiration for strength shaped his form, but my admiration for Zaraki shaped his personality, and my use of kido turned him silent to me. His way of scolding me for relying on anything that wasn't my own strength."

As she finished she finally turned back to look at Lerna "That is why I hate Kido so much... why I despise it... My use of it has turned Hakaishin into a silent watcher, refusing to talk to me except when I am about to lose, and even then only demanding that I win."

made by RR of DD, steal and i will sentence you to the true death!