All that's Left [Liltotto, Santa]

Bit egocentric of a want but, she never really saw Santa as the type to have fully 'grown up' so to speak, moreso in mind than body. Not that she saw her as childish, but rather on the naive side, but she also had some occasional weird edge. Even watching her now, it didn't do much to change her mind on that, "That's a nice thought, I guess. If you aren't extreme about it."

Pulling open a drawer in the coffee table, she'd dig around through all kinds of controllers and remotes until she got the TV remote, flicking the screen on and looking for something to have on in the background, the volume low enough to keep their conversation going, her attention quickly grabbed by Santa's question. As much as it wasn't an unusual question among newer members she was helping out with, she didn't expect to be hit with it outside of the training grounds. At least she was comfortable enough to give an honest response as opposed to the more squeaky clean one she gave to brighten up the kid's faces.

"Oh, well, yknow," She'd say between putting one of the remaining sweets in her mouth, "Was hermiting it up out in the wastes. Hated that. Old friend found me, talked about them. I thought about it for a bit, moved in, all of that," With a swift swallow, she'd continue, "Guess I got sick of being purposeless and by myself. Thought throwing myself back into something familiar would at least lessen some of my stupid crybaby dumb bitch feelings, but it isn't as familiar as I thought it would. Everyone's... A lot nicer and hopeful, I guess. More... Free?"

Her silence was held, not that she hadn't a thing to say to Santa, but rather in acknowledgement of the kind of people she was talking about. She knew plenty of those as a young girl, and in the end they died for it. Forgotten by time, their sacrifices for their delusion ultimately meaningless. Her grip on the remote tightened for a moment, before letting go of the sensation, pushing it far out of her mind - there was no point in being upset for something she couldn't change or do anything about.

"Me?" Pulled from her thoughts by Santa's question, she'd face her, messy golden locks shifting over her shoulders, "Oh. Well, I mean... I guess i'm still figuring that out. I have friends, I have good relations in the Vandenreich period honestly. I have something to do. I have people to protect. I guess.. I wouldn't call it happy, but I would say i'm thankful. I didn't have much of that growing up apart from my mom, and as much as she was there, I wouldn't have exactly called her the most put together person. She's better now, not here anymore but she's better."

Her gaze lowered with a slight shrug, "I dunno. I'm a weirdo. I guess I feel happy when it's appropriate, like if i'm hanging out or with my boyfriend, but like.. I'm not generally in the most lifted mood. I've never really been the happiest person to begin with. It's just kinda normal at this point for me, I don't really go at things with the sole idea of 'this'll cheer me up'. I'd be setting myself up for more misery and disappointment with that."

Lying on the opposite arm, she'd stare at the ceiling, "Maybe i'm just allergic to happiness. Dunno."

A neutral expression marked her face as she listened to Santa speak about the subject, which gradually morphed into a solemn stare up at the ceiling, to a concerned gaze at the blonde Arrancar herself, sitting up and appearing far more attentive than initially. Shit, the few times they'd met she seemed far more carefree and above the clouds, but now she was talking like an aching hearted poet that'd been through the dredges of life. She couldn't help but utter a soft 'Jeez', a soft hiss of a pained inhale heard as she'd rub the back of her neck. All of that everything really put her through the ringer, huh?

"..Santa, I don't mind you living here for now, if you wanna," Her tone was soft and even understanding from the otherwise rather abrasive woman, "I'm not always here coz I have assignments abroad ever so often but, at least so you have somewhere to crash for a bit, at least until you're feeling better. You really sound like you've been through it, I don't feel good turning you away. Shit, i'll get you a phone so you can at least keep up with me.. It'd be a crummy phone but it's better than nothing."

A hand slightly raised as if to to console her, but fell as soon as it made a move, "..Do you, wanna talk about... The Mazda thing..?" Her question came out cautiously yet assuredly.

It wasn't hard to guess what would have followed such an offer, especially with Santa's visible shift in mood for the better, mentally steeling herself for what was to follow: Way too much sudden physical affection. Her eyes were squeezed tight, resisting the desire to push against Santa with her decision to let her ride out her excitement, though she couldn't help but call out, "Sure yeah but.. Touching, way too much touching..! Please hold off on that..."

As soon as she was relieved of that overwhelm, sighing as she'd drop back on the couch with a drained look, though her composure regained with noticing Santa's nervous smile, shoulders stiffening with her answer, "I... Gotcha. Yeah. Sorry for bringing it up."

A brow raised with Santa's statement, "What? Of course i'd remember you. It's real tough to forget people when I know their scent." Lounging, she'd look to the TV, looking at the screen with a foul look for a second as she'd immediately change the channel. Fuck she hated that stupid movie, why did they even bother airing it? Though her brief irritation was broken by Santa's earnest attempt to not physically assault her with affection, seeming tensed for a moment by the suddenness but relaxing, her gaze sinking with her heart,

"..Yeah, of course." She wasn't any more figured out than Santa was, probably, but she wasn't going to nail her with that. It was more comforting to give the illusion that she was in a place to give some assistance than not, she didn't mind playing it, "..Any time. Just crash til you figure out what you're doing. I have two free bedrooms, pick either, keep the place clean, don't touch anything old looking... All that."