Just A Bedside Chat [Liltotto, Alastair]

God, what a rough week.

It'd been only a few days after they'd been deployed to deal with that giant lizard, but the amount of discomfort she was in sure did make it feel far longer than that. Not only was she completely sick from having consumed the flesh of the hollow, she was baking hot as well - probably because eating that shit was equatable to scarfing down magma, or at least it felt like it with how hot she was.

It was unsafe to make herself puke it up, well, anywhere, so she decided the safest thing was just to let her stomach do it's thing and digest it, but this of course meant she was lying in the hospital under watch until she got better. Thankfully, the staff didn't need to worry about feeding her so much as making sure the heat wasn't insufferable, which was resolved with having some form of cooling packs on her 24/7 - but no matter what she was going to be feeling discomfort between the heat and slightly sunburnt feeling her body gave, and the cold of ice all over her skin.

Visitors came by when she was in a more talkative state, and she was particularly happy to see one guy come by - Alastair.

"Heyyy, Alastair..." Her greeting was tiredly drawn out but still had her usual energy behind it, "How ya holdin' up? Hope I didn't bruise you too bad..."

A tired chuckle escaped her lips as she tried to keep some levity despite her rather exhausted and uncomfortable state.

Relief gleaned in her tired eyes to see that he was well, though dimmed a bit when she caught he wasn't exactly in the brightest mood, knowing him it was possible he was feeling some guilt. If she didn't feel like she was gonna upchuck lava, she'd get up and give him a slap on the shoulder, instead taking a breath,

"You can cut the formalities here, we're not on the field," A tired smile was forced onto her face as some form of reassurance, "I'm fine, Alastair. I insisted on just recovering at home but the doc didn't want me leaving, even though i've told him i've bitten a chunk out of plenty of hollows and just felt better after a few days. Apparently i'm a bit of a medical anomaly and they just wanna make sure i'm alright," a breathy chuckle followed.

She had all sorts of checks done on her, and definitely got a few medical staff members absolutely puzzled, but they wouldn't let her just go home without making entirely sure she'd be alright after that altercation. She definitely wasn't worried, just irritated and uncomfortable from how hot and sick she felt.

"There's no need to worry... I'll be going about as normal in a few days. I'm just gonna feel like shit til then. I'm much more worried about how you're holding up after all of that."

A wave of relief seemed to calm her face as he gave assurance that he hadn't a scratch on him, though she definitely could tell he got a bit tanned by the experience; guy was normally white as a sheet but his skin looked less pale than what she remembered with a better look at him. It gave her more confidence in their chances, she supposed - if they were really any close to being feeble and entirely helpless to threats, they definitely would've died. Not just anybody could pull through an assault like that. Of course she expected to survive, of course she would, but she was happy to hear that everyone pulled through dealing with the major threats at the very least, but as far as she heard that hole was gonna be a problem for a good while.

Though, her expression seemed to draw into a far more unreadable look when he went on with his next statement, appearing even a bit apprehensive with the question. Even if she was sick, uncomfortable, and exhausted, that was still going to be a difficult subject for her to even take into consideration, she herself having many questions of what she was, even if she already somewhat had an answer,

"Ah, jeez Alastair..." She'd speak with a sigh, appearing to take his words and her own thoughts into careful thought before responding, "..That's a tough question. I mean, in ways of, i'd probably have a different thing to say than what's written down."

She was quiet in thought for a moment as she looked to the young man, as if trying to decide something. Of course she could trust Alastair not to go running about with that kind of information, but she still had no idea of how it'd impact things, dropping an already pretty uncertain truth just felt oddly perilous to her,

"..Look, as long as you promise it doesn't... Affect anything, I can tell you. Not playing around, i'd hate myself if I lied."

If she weren't worn so ragged, she would've let out a stronger laugh in response, instead all Alastair got was something between a breath and a chuckle, softly bringing a hand to her face, head leaning back against her pillows before she'd sigh and allow her hand to slide off and fall to her lap. Her laughter faded, her smile vanished, as she'd let out another labored breath,

"No, no it's okay. I can tell you," Her eyes appeared to have left him, looking to the side as if she was shy of even gauging his reaction, "I.. I didn't know this initially, when I joined the Vandenreich. I actually went my entire life without really knowing what I am. But.. I've come across an answer, and have had good reason to believe it. I'm... A fragment of the Soul King, or something like that. Me and the Grandmaster were talking and.. That was the conclusion drawn."

She seemed to cringe, appearing to dislike acknowledging that, as if speaking it aloud would just keep twisting that knife of uncertainty in her, "And I.. Haven't known what to do with that information ever since. I don't even know what that means. I don't even know what.. I mean. It just makes a ton more questions pop up and I don't have answers to any of them, and it's been... It's been a lot."

A slow exhale came from her when he asked the very obvious and expected question; any reasonable person would be pushing for more information, especially on something as outlandish as her claim. Well shit, explaining this was either going to be very hard, or very easy, depending on if he was one of the few who remembered that thing.

"I'm not bothered, i'd rather be able to talk to somebody about it. I can barely make sense of it on my own, even with how long i've been around..."

Looking at Alastair with a bit of concern, she'd try to be mindful to keep it as simple as she could; it was a lot to parse in full.

"..Alright what i'm about to say will either make plenty of sense, or none, I don't know it's been a tossup of who still knows about it," She took a moment of silence to think of how to explain it carefully, "So, my best at shortening, there used to be this.. Guy around the Vandenreich, he referred to himself as Ahura Mazda. Not long after I moved here, we found each other... And he said that we were similar beings, as in, literally what we are. So I went to Cyrus, I spoke to him about it, about him, and he told me that he was a fragment of the Soul King, and if we were similar, then.. I must be one too."

All those conflicted feelings were coming back to her, though her voice didn't shake, trying her best to continue explaining, "It's... He's, gone now. The instability of worlds or something, he sacrificed himself to stabilize it. And I guess, that made near everyone forget he even existed. I know, I know this all sounds crazy, but if you ask the Grandmaster, tell him I told you, i'm sure he'd confirm. But, as much as it throws in more questions, it answers some - like why the original Vandenreich seemed to want me so bad despite not being a Quincy, my weird Reiatsu, my powers, my inability to age..."

Though tired, her gaze fell on him with a sympathetic look, "Are you alright? I'm sorry, I... I know it's a lot."