Cucumber in a Bowl of Hot Sauce [Rukia, Shiro]

Well, she'd been sober this time around. On one hand, that made it a lot more difficult to put any stray thoughts about the situation off to the side. Then again, so did the fact that she was still right here, in his arms. Were his hands a little too low? Probably, but she was dealing with the situation in her head. Had she even gotten to the other hand in this train of thought? Right, right.

On the other hand, she hadn't liked it any less this time. If anything, she was pretty confident she'd enjoyed this a lot more. There wasn't any outside interference, nothing making her act out of line. It was just...him and her. She liked it.

Her eyes meeting Shiro's, her pale face flushed with the heat of the moment, Rukia tried to formulate something she could say back. Anything. A smug reply, something genuine, literally anything to actually convey how she felt. But nothing was coming to mind, and she slowly turned a more prominent shade of red as she realized she was just sitting here staring at him. Nothing was coming to mind, so she just went with the thing that seemed like it'd get the point across without her saying something stupid.

Her lips all but crashed into Shiro's this time, a gesture that couldn't really be called "romantic" in any possible sense of the word. But it was genuine, at least.

Oh.

You know, for the briefest of moments, there was something resembling genuine fear in Rukia's mind as Shiro acted so brutishly. Realistically, she probably should have been more afraid of him than she was. But it was a strange situation, where the trust she placed in him had acted as enough of a buffer for her conscious mind to remind her of the fact that she was just...you know.

A lot stronger than him.

Maybe Rukia should have been mad. Really, she definitely should have. But she'd sort of started this, and maybe she was still riding high from the adrenaline of having nearly smashed her head into his. As his hand moved to her cheek, she simply gave him a small grin, surprisingly confident given the situation.

"Just a little."

Of course, she knew this whole situation was...well, a little intimate. A lot intimate, actually. And as much as he probably wanted to go a whole lot further than that, she still didn't really know where she stood on all that. But she wanted to know. If not for his sake, just for her own. If she wanted him to stop, she'd tell him. But for now, she simply looked into his eyes, her face still flushed and her eyes curious.

She isn't running, but Rukia couldn't help but wonder if Shiro was. She listened to everything he said, and though her smile fell, it wasn't because she was mad at him, or annoyed. If anything, there was almost something nice about the fact that he was opening up to her. But that didn't mean she liked what he was saying, and she brought both hands to his face reassuringly, gently.

"You're not a lost cause. If I wanted you to get off me, I'd tell you. If I wanted you to stop, you'd know. Maybe we won't last that long, you're right. But maybe we'll last a long time, maybe we'll last the rest of our lives."

And, well, maybe that had been a little bit much for her to put forward, but she did mean it. She was tired of just being aimless, living without having anything to do. She doubted most people would really think of a love life as much to be proud of, but it was something. Rukia had done enough in her life that she didn't relish the idea of anything more than all this. She could have been a Captain, probably even Captain Commander if she really wanted to.

But she didn't want all that. What she wanted was this. Sitting up as he moved away from her, Rukia simply reached out to take his hand in hers.

"Alright?"

Rukia had thought about responding immediately to what he said, but in truth, she wasn't sure she should. Even if that had been all he had to say, it was something she couldn't really reply to so easily. She'd never lived through something like that, and she couldn't pretend that she had. Even at the worst points of her life...well, it had never been as bleak as that. A certain someone had made sure she had something to believe in.

Well, the least she could do was be that certain someone for Shiro.

"Not everyone will accept you right away. Some people probably never will. But that's alright. Even if nobody else does, I do, and other people will in time. You don't need to be someone that everyone's impressed by. You just be you, alright? And we can work from there."

She didn't mind him leaning in one bit. As he rested his head on her shoulder, she simply wrapped her arms warmly around him. Rukia didn't know what she was doing in all this, but that didn't seem to matter all that much. Just trying their best was all either of them could ask of the other, right? They were in this together.

At first, Rukia didn't really understand what it was that Shiro was doing, but that very quickly changed as his lips met her neck, an involuntary shiver running through her at the act. She hadn't expected him to do this at all, but she wasn't stupid enough to think she didn't like it. Honestly, she liked it a lot. That was such a weird thought, weird enough that it probably made her more than a little awkward as this was actually happening.

What was she actually supposed to do here? It occurred to her, as his hands moved up her body, that she had no idea how she should actually react to this. What did guys like? She didn't know. She didn't have a clue, and the last thing she wanted to do was just headbutt him again. In the end, it seemed like the best call was to just...not do anything. He knew what he was doing, she'd know when to tell him to stop. For now, there was nothing wrong with things just like this.

Well, she’s no help at all in this situation. He would have rathered anything besides dead silence, not a whimper, a moan, or a “Hey. Whatcha doing, buddy?” Even if he’s sure she’d tell him if she liked something or hated it, something a little bit vocal would have helped him with his next move. Now, he just has to gamble, like this is a bet between the two. Can he make her feel good, or is she going to reject his advances? If that’s how this is going to go, then he’ll make sure she regrets it. Though, something like that might actually have a different effect.

Eh. It’s best to just go with what he thinks should go next, and that means his hands roam back down her sides. Staying there for just a second, fingers worm their way under her clothing, calloused digits wrapped around her small waist. Going too slow would just make things awkward, but he shouldn’t go too fast. She does have to sort of process if she even wants what’s happening to continue, but his hands sliding back up her body, pushing her clothing from over her midsection as he goes, leaves her losing time to make up her mind with. He even stopped kissing her, his head simply resting between her shoulder and neck, just to not override her senses. Thinking about it a bit, this is sort of like a science experiment with him jumping back between hypothesizing and experimenting. She’s the constant variable, and his actions are the variables that continue to change, attempting to see how the constant is affected. He should probably not let that become a vocal thought.