Wandering About the Seireitei (Open)

"Yeah... it's indescribable... there are to many sensations as you're flying through the air..." He said shortly, still staring out, as he suddenly heard the girl's cry of amazement. He turned around, surprised, unsure what she meant. Cool...? Is she talking about my eyes again...? Or what...? He wondered to himself.

"Whaddya mean, cool...?" He asked, hearing what the rest of what she said. "I really am a..." Oh no. She doesn't mean... she couldn't possibly mean... He trailed off, bringing his hand up to his head slowly as she continued speaking. Jeez she can ask a lot of questions...! He thought as his fingers finally found the smooth edge of his ice-ears.

"GAH! NOT AGAIN! DARN CAT EARS!" He said, falling back, unable to get them off his head. He began smashing his head back on the building, knowing it was fruitless and wouldn't harm him, but he still had to vent the frustration. After a few moments, he opened his eyes again, remaining laying back, deciding to answer her questions. "Well... it does... always at the most awkward of moments, like now, is when usually happens." He said simply, staring up at the clouds in the sky, feeling the tail having trailed out from beneath him, swinging back and forth between the turned Natsume like a piece of string to a cat; also outside of James' control. "It happens completely subounciously... I wish I could control it, but it's just a really annoying habit of my Nature Cells... they're imprinted with cat DNA, after all, which means I'm also able to transform into a cat. But, I usually don't..." He trailed off calmly, unable to see what his tail was doing or Natsume, just staring at the sky and feeling one of the cat ears on his head. "It feels like it's really my ear, though..." He trailed off, now beginning to answer her last question.

"Other than the Nature Cells themselves... no. They're just to annoy me, and for show, a cosmetic thing. Thanks for telling me about it, though, most people just look on from seeing it without even telling me what's going on; I hate when they do that, makes me feel like their laughing at me... Like I'm something that doesn't deserve the same amount of respect and caring as others..." The six-thousand year old Aquacat said simply, the true rage behind this comment having been doused years, and years, before. "You know what, Natsume...? If it's alright for me to call you that? I like you. You're like my friend Moonie, very similar. You're very open, not mincing words, just going at it with all your strength right from the get-go. So, what do you have to tell me about yourself?" He trailed of, still looking at the sky, prepared to listen to whatever Natsume told him. He was pretty experienced with listening to others; after all, there wasn't much worse than the collective horror that the Nature Iramasha had been through.

My own denial of existence... Pierre's attempted suicide... Inanna's brutalization at the hands of those bastards... Aki's loneliness... the abyss is wrong with this world, anyway...? He wondered, beginning to feel comfortable on his position on the rooftop...

Natsume was quite taken aback to James reaction about the cat ears, and she watched in confusion when he slammed his head against the building, not quite understanding why he was doing such a thing. After all, having cat ears and a tail would be really neat, wouldn't it? Well, in her mind anyways. That confusion was resolved when the Iramasha explained that he couldn't control them.

"I guess that would get kinda annoying." She agreed, comparing it to other, more regular things people find inconvenient in day to day life, such as height and strength, or lack thereof, since not too many people complained about being strong. The young Shinigami opened her mouth to say something, but was distracted by James' tail waving back and forth in front of her. She was gripped by a sudden desire to touch it, and find out if it felt like a regular cat tail or something else. It wasn't until James began to speak again that her attention was brought off the tail.

"I think you deserve even more respect, really." Natsume assured him. "I've got no idea what the Vanguard is, or what a Southwest Guardian is, but it sounds pretty important. A lot more important than what regular people do." She explained, and shifted her sitting position once more. From what Natsume had seen, during both her life in the World of the Living and here in the Soul Society, there were very few good things that people did. They killed each other, abused each other, took advantage of the weaker ones, discriminated others because of race or culture or gender. While her view certainly was biased from growing up in the slums, it was true to an extent. James didn't seem like any of those people to Natsume, and thus she figured that he deserved much more respect than that.

She couldn't help but smile when James said he liked her. Most people didn't due to her bad habit of saying whatever was on her mind, which usually wasn't a compliment to most. "I like you too. Not many people like being around me because I can't read social signs well. I usually end up insulting them without meaning too." She admitted, but shrugged. It was inevitable, she supposed, and she wasn't about to let it get her down.

"There's not much to tell, really." Natsume answered. "I haven't done anything amazing, and I'm not that strong. I don't have Shikai or anything either. The only thing I'm good at is picking fights I can't win... I did that a lot at the Academy, actually. All the teachers hated me for it." A tone of amusement crept into her voice as she finished her statement, due to the many images of furious teachers that had flashed by while she spoke. Seeing them turn purple was the best part. "I've always lived in the shady areas of places too, so I haven't seen anything that people would consider exciting. I've seen some disturbing things, and I've watched people die too, but that's not..." She trailed off, unsure of which word to use to end the sentence properly. She frowned slightly, as that statement had brought back some unpleasant memories. While she was certain that there was worse out there, it was impossible to shake the images that occasionally haunted her mind, specifically those in which she watched the jaws of death reach out and devour it's next victim. She shook her head to clear it.

"So yeah, my life isn't interesting or anything. 'Specially compared to a lot of other people." She restated, being quite redundant in terms of the first comment she had made about her life.

James gave a small smile as he heard her response. Thank you… He thought to himself, his gentle smile plastered on his face. He was so glad that there was someone other than the Nature Iramasha who sympathized with him. And… if she's really like Moonie… than it has to be the truth… he thought to himself, the emotion sweeping through his lying form as he remained staring at the sky; his vision slightly blurred. That sensation… the one as when the told me that I don't exist… but.. It's different now, I think… He finished his thoughts, looking back at her once more, settling himslef in to listen to her story.

Not much to tell, huh…? He silently reflected as Natsume began speaking to him.What kind of place would you have to live, for people dying around you to barely affect you…? He wondered for a brief moment, giving a small oh as he realized that he, as well, fell under that category. She also got in a lot of fights…? I can imagine why; but surely… He waited for her to finish speaking, and then he turned on his side, his eyebrows twitching in annoyance and his face also looking quite hindered by the tail that was still dancing before Natsume. After a moment, however, he sighed, silently hoping that the girl wasn't going to attack it; he was quite sensitive on his tail when he knew it was there, considering how its nerves connected to the base of his spine. After sending up this silenced prayer, he looked over at Natsume, looking her in the eyes as he responded, still lazily lying on the roof.

"Well… I can imagine why. There are some people in this world that just… don't have the proper level of, with a smmtolerance to realize when they are being complimented." He spoke, his tone like the reflection of the sun on the glimmering sea, shining. "What you say may not always be the most encouraging; but, everyone has the possibility to change. That's my belief. Because…. We live in a world where change is essential. Being from nature, I know, that should you stop changing and stay just what you are… you perish. That's why, after even six thousand years, I'm still growing, still changing, still trying to help others achieve change." He spoke, still looking right at her. "Besides, you have done something extraordinary. You leaped up here to be with this cat in the moonlight… not many people can say that!"

He finished, clearing his throat as he lied on the roof once more, still hping that she wouldn't touch the tail. He stared up once more at the starry sky, putting his hands behind his head as he did so, finally asking the question that had been on his mind.

"Well… Natsume, tell me, how will you change? You are a shinigami; one of the most adaptive species in existence. Heck, you could end up being a vizard, an iramasha like myself, or many things more… so many things more than you are presently. And they're all within your reach!" He paused, the words all coming out evenly spaced and calmly, so Natsume would be able to catch every word he said.


"And while it's true that you could still be anything, I at least hope that you don't become something like the vizards of old, in constant battle, always having to watch their backs, never having a chance to just relax until they've completely dominated that inner force. And that's why I said I like you. You're a being of change; you're willing to accept it, and to embrace it upon others, even if you don't fully realize it. Every time you make a blunt comment, you are truly making it for the benefit of the other person, as you are completely unbiased; therefore, most of the time, the words you speak are the truth. So when people get mad about things like that; it shows their fear and reluctance to change. Needless to say… those kinds of people aren't very strong where it counts. So, for anyone to dislike you because you are blunt…" He prepared to finish, taking a small breath. "I guess you could call it a 'personal problem'. So, I ask You once more, my friend Natsume, how will you change?"

By the time Natsume had finished speaking, her mind was no longer dwelling up what James' tail felt like, and her attention was drawn further away from it when the Nature Iramasha began to speak, and she listened intently. He was one of the few people she could listen to and have a decent conversation with without becoming bored.

She found herself nodding at James' opinions regarding change. The thought had never entered her mind before, but the minute he mentioned it, she found herself agreeing. The world was an ever changing place, as he had stated, and Natsume thought back to all of the history books she had read. Wars and conflict had always broken out because there were those that were willing to change and those that were not. It was a fact of life, and although it was sad that there was no way to convince the stubborn ones that change was -usually- the way to go, there was not much one could do about it. She didn't quite understand what was so amazing about getting up on the roof to sit beside him, though. All she had done was jump onto the roof, and although it was much higher than her usual hiding places that were used when trying to run away from a group of thugs she had accidentally picked a fight with, it was certainly no incredible feat, getting onto a roof. She did not take into consideration, that James, being the Southwest Warden of the Vanguard didn't socialize with all the Shinigami, given that he had stated earlier that he didn't frequent the Seireitei often. But she pushed those thoughts away to think about the answer to his question.

"I know it's kinda unoriginal, but... I want to get stronger." She admitted. "I depended on people during my time in the World of the Living, and then during the Academy I was too weak to fend for myself and always ran away from fights I'd picked myself. I want to change that, and be able to hold my ground. After that, I want to help the other people in the world who can't defend themselves... It's really not a nice feeling, being weak..." She trailed off for a moment, thinking.

"I'm not sure what I want to do after that, though. Like you said, there are a lot of things I could do or become... But I'd have to agree with you on the Vizard thing. Being constantly tormented by an inner hollow, always worrying about if it'll takeover and kill everyone you hold dear to you, destroying everything you've worked so hard for." Natsume agreed, and shifted her sitting position once more, so that her legs were draped over the edge of the roof, swinging them back and forth once more.

James nodded as she spoke, hearing her desire. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling his mind fading into the past, examining his memories...

"Why... Why are you doing this!" James cried out, his eyes blurring as he felt it, coming like a waterfall from within. All he had wanted was to understand. He hadn't meant to kill that man; he had no idea what this weapon was, or why he had always been different from the other Israelites around him. Now, in the one place where he could have been accepted, after all his confusion, his very existence, the only thing he had had left, was denied before himself. He fell to his knees, his vision beginning to blur as he looked at these extremely old men, his face falling as he weakly put his arms out to defend himself from the ground, his eyes wide and staring at the ground. He was still young; he had no idea what was happening, or going on. His existence being denied was affecting him, tears pouring down from his face as he began feeling like he was being ripped apart from the inside. He couldn't even get out a sob as the tears began to drip off the lids of his different colored eyes on the floor, his chest seizing up to restrain the sobs, so confused. And then... he was falling... falling... once more...

James slowly opened his eyes, looking out once more, feeling very cold. He held his arms around himself, realizing the tears were once more falling down his face, but this time, along with the sobs. Crap... I... I thought I was over this...! Talking about change... and... He gave another heave and tried his best to hold in the noise as the sob overcame him once more, the pity for his younger, confused self washing over him, his cat ears flattening on his head and his tail curling up. Change.... Change! He thought, realizing it. Because of those members of the Iramasha Council, his younger self when through such painful ordeals; the other members of the Nature Iramasha as well, and the emptiness and pity intensified once more, overflowing his relaxed self and racking his body, unable to calm down. All of them! Because... because... because they couldn't...

"Change..." He said out loud, his voice nothing more than a whisper as the tears flowed openly on his face, a very strange thing, as not even his water control could hold them back, flowing from him as he had sat up, leaning forwards quite unexpectedly, the emotional pain just overcoming him, too much, too much... Change... Change... "Change... change..." his voice a pitiful whimper as he spoke, his calm shattered, his defenses having lowered. Why do I keep do-... doing thi-.... this to mys- myself! He thought. But he had to; he was their leader. He had to be strong and take all their brunt; but in the end, he was still a being of nature. This is why he had to be constantly calm, or this would happen, and he continued, trying not to outright lose himself as he tried holding back the tears and sobs, the Water Iramasha feeling once more completely alone in his world, as he had six-thousand years ago... As a ten year old man...

Natsume did not notice the tears falling down James' cheeks at first, for she too was thinking of the past. There wasn't much from her life in the World of the Living that she could remember, just bitter feelings. Bitter feelings and pain. The pain had always been there, jabbing into her stomach as her muscles weakened and shrunk since there were no nutrients to sustain them. Despite the young age she had been at when she left the world, she had welcomed death with open arms, hoping for a change. Things changed for sure, especially after she claimed a position in the Academy. But life didn't necessarily get better either. Natsume could still clearly remember being dragged behind one of the compounds everyday and having the snot pounded out of her. Upon entering the Gotei, not much had changed... People were more civil, but she still got beat up occasionally, and few would talk to her. The absence of companionship in life and physical pain were two of the things that had stayed the same throughout the years, and she assumed they would always be there to hinder her, as well as everyone else in the world. One could not live out life without paying a price, so it seemed.

James' sobbing snapped her out of the past, but it took a moment for Natsume to realize that he was crying. She would be lying if she said that the sight of a six thousand year old man hadn't shocked her to the core, especially since it was James. Sure, she knew next to nothing about the Nature Iramasha, but he seemed quite calm and collected, unlikely to break down. It was... frightening, for lack of a better word, to see someone whom she had thought to be a mentally and physically fortified person weep.

Due to her lack of experience with people, Natsume had no idea what to do. A million thoughts ran through her mind, most questioning the best course of action. Did she leave him to cry it all out? Did she stay here and be quiet, or try to console him? That last suggestion almost made her snort. The last time she had tried to console someone they had tried to kill her in the end... She was lucky to have gotten away. She shoved the memories of that incident away. There was no harm in trying to help... Right? She gathered up her courage, and reached out to him, placing a hand on his shoulder in an attempt at a comforting gesture. She had seen others do it before, but wasn't quite sure if this was a particularly good idea.

Eh, I'll know in a moment, I guess. Natsume thought. She wasn't quite sure what to do next, but she recalled reading somewhere that telling a person to 'calm down' or 'relax' and that 'everything will be okay' only serves to make them more agitated. Of course, it depended on the person too... But usually those words were lies anyways, and Natsume tried to stay away from lies. So instead of speaking she just sat there beside the Aqua Cat, praying that he wouldn't get angry at her for stepping out of line or something similar. In spite of her earlier thoughts, she found herself speaking, trying to console with words too.

"I have no idea what you've been through, and even if I did I doubt I'd be able to empathize with your pain, which is probably greater than most... But that doesn't mean that the future has to be wrought with tragedy either." She murmured, assuming that he was upset about something that had either happened recently or something that had turned his world upside down. She hoped she was right, otherwise she was going to sound like a fool. "You said it yourself, everything changes in the end. Roll with the punches, right? The sour things in life make the sweet things that much sweeter..." Her voice trailed off, fearing that she had just made things worse, but hoping that James would understand what she was trying to say and really meant no offense by it.

I should have just kept my big mouth shut... She thought. Sometimes people just need a shoulder to cry on. A shoulder that doesn't belong to a loudmouth.

James looked up, having felt a hand on his shoulder, blinking his eyes to try and get the remains of the tears out to see straight. What he saw was the Shinigami, Natsume, holding onto his shoulder. She… won't let me just let it happen alone then, will she… He thought to himself, calming down a bit for a moment, before another thought shot through his mind. They had no one to… He thought, getting worked up a bit more before he heard her voice, stopping his thoughts in their tracks. "...you're right… you are very right… it doesn't have to be that way…" He spoke, taking a deep breath of his own, calming down for real a bit. Seems she isn't very used to comforting… but at least she can… He thought to himself, having taken note of how she muttered, although he very much appreciated it all the same, looking at her and nodding his head as she continued speaking. His face was still very red, and there were still traces of some tears on them, but he had stopped, at least for then.

James listened to what she said then, and for a single moment, almost felt consumed by rage. However; it was such a small amount that he wasn't even sure if he had really felt it, as he had looked at it from his calm nature immediately after. "...In some ways, that's correct. I guess so times even I have to slow down and appreciate the things in life, the clouds, the waves, the feeling of the air… That's the truly great thing about change, I guess. Nothing stays the same; good doesn't last forever, but neither does the bad." He spoke, swallowing hard as he stopped his sobbing completely, having returned to his normal self.

"Thank you very much for your words. They mean much to me. I know it must have been quite shocking to see that… and I'm sorry for that. I let my guard down… plus speaking of change when like that… just doesn't result in anything good. But, yes, thank you for your words and your support. …" He paused for a moment, thinking, before he got an idea. He smiled, before a great cloud of smoke emitted from around him, most likely giving a shock to the girl. When he could be seen again, he was very small, in a roundish body, in the form of a cat. He leapt up onto her legs, sitting down and looking up to her. "Now, is there anything that you'd like to talk to me about?" the Aquacat asked. In this form, he could not be sensed in any way, shape, or form, as it would feel as if his energy had simply vanished. However, he was still quite a warm ball of yellow fluff, with a small round white tail that he moved back and forth while sitting on her legs, looking up at her with his wide eyes and whiskers. She'd probably feel more comfortable talking to a cat; and this way, I don't look like I just got beat by a steamroller… He thought to himself as he waited, staring up at the shinigami…

Natsume couldn't help but feel a little relieved when the tears ceased to stream down James' cheeks. She never felt comfortable when people around her began to display strong emotions, the only exception being anger. This most likely stemmed from the environment she had grown up in, where no one cried or sang with joy and just punched each other's faces in or kept to themselves in order to preserve their pride... Which, in the Shinigami's mind, made next to no sense but she never bothered to question it. Thinking about things like psychology always confused her, bringing up more questions than they answered. Those thoughts got pushed aside when James' started speaking, and she listened quietly to what he had to say.

"Glad I could be of service." She said sincerely in response to his thanks. "I guess it was a little surprising, but..." She shrugged. "Everyone needs to cry once in awhile, otherwise everything would bottle up and explode, right?" Natsume's head had turned a little while she spoke, and her attention hadn't been completely focused on James until the smoke had surrounded him, and she snapped her neck around to watch, her blue eyes wide in a mix of amazement and shock. First the climate control and then the cat ears and tail...What now? She thought curiously, and dozens of theories had run through her head by the time the smoke cleared.

"You...You're a cat!" Natsume exclaimed, stating the obvious. A wide grin spread across her face. "That's amazing! What's it like being a cat? Is your vision better? Can you still see in colour? What about your hearing? Oh, and your sense of smell must've increased too, right? What does having fur feel like?" She paused for a moment to catch her breath, having uttered the questions all in one go with no room to breathe. Realizing that she had once again bombarded James with quite a few questions at once, she inwardly cursed herself for not controlling her curiosity.

James blinked his cat eyes a bit, moving his head to the side a small bit. He prepared himself for her curiosity, used to it by now. He listened to her questions, remembering each of what they were. He opened his mouth, which must have looked weird as his normal voice came out from his cat lips. "That's right. I told you I'm the Aquacat. And lemme see here…" He trialed off, his catb eyes looking up at the sky for a moment as his little tail moved some more, before looking back down at Natsume. "Well, it can be fun, at times, like right now. My eyes are as good or better than a cat's in my normal form as well because of this trait. So, no, there's no change in my sight. I can still see in sight, as I have the muscles in my eye to see in color still. Hearing is the same for the same reason. Same with smell, although I have an increased sensitivity to catnip that I didn't have as bad as before. And, its soft."[/color] He said calmly in reply to her questions, before looking up at her. "What? You wanna pet it? You can, I don't mind." He said lightly, remaining sitting there on her legs for a few moments looking at her.

Then he took a step forwards, wobbling slightly as he did so, but keeping his balance, walking up to her. "And I thought I told you that I really don't care what questions you ask me." He spoke, his sharp eyes having picked up how she appeared tense after asking her stream of questions, the same way as she had done before. "You really don't have to do that… I told you that already. Plus, you shouldn't feel bad about a part of yourself. After all, you're you. That's just the way it is, isn't it?" He himself asked, becoming covered in another cloud of smoke. When he reappeared, he was much different than before.

He swished his now longer and proper tail, having taken the form of a real cat as opposed to the fluff ball state of his Stealth Mode. His lengthened body was sleek, long haired, soft and (he shivered at the though} Fluffy. Yeah… my real cat form… is fluffy… he thought to himself, sighing in his mind. However, like this, he was able to have better mobility as well as actually moving his head and feet. He sat down, now right next to Natsume, curling his tail up around his right side. He lowered his front paws as well, tucking them under his chest in case she was still a bit uncomfortable with him being a cat. Then, purring, he looked up, giving her a curious look as he spoke. "Yeah… this is my "true" cat form, you could say. And yes, it's exactly the same as before, just able to stretch myself out more than being a ball of fluff." He said a bit jokingly, blinking his eyes as he tried to intercept her questions as not to get off topic again. "Again… is there anything that You wish to speak about? At all? I really would appreciate it if you would at least allow me to return the favor you gave me…" He trailed off, his tail swishing back and forth and the tip flopped up and down, as his tail was extremely flexible.

He was quite warm and comfortable on his spot, as his coat in this form was sleek and yet long haired at the same time. He knew that while he was in this state that people tended to want to pet him, and while he really didn't mind it, it still felt a bit weird. But he just wanted to make Natsume feel comfortable and help her however he could, which in this case was just sharing his small body's warmth and listening…