jin shinigami [APPROVED, 4-4]

Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:11 pm

jinS H I N I G A M I

B A S I C I N F O R M A T I O N

Name jin kenichi
Gender:male
Age:550
Appearance:Jin has blood red hair and a scare of an x on his left cheek. he keeps his hair in a samurai pony tail and no one has seen him wit his hair down beside his mother his kimono top is violate and his belt is pink with white silk lower kimono pants. His socks are black silk with standard cloak shoes His skin type is fair.

__________________________________________________________________________

P E R S O N A L I T Y

Personality: jin is a comedian always trying to find the next joke. His true secret reason for doing this is him being a coward, jin is always afraid of dieing so jin developed a way of not being scared by telling jokes or making fun of things even himself.aside from this jin has another side , this is always looking for love. Ay heart jin is romantic at heart always enjoying the small thing like giving a roses to a lover, or even writing lovely poems for the ones he loves. Deep inside jin in the lowest parts of his mind lays another persona of a silent cool headed and clod blooded killer

jin finds it hard to trust new people. Once a person earns his trust however he tries to build bonds of friend ship to last life times. Jin is the kind of person who doesn't belief in things he can touch or see. Thats why when he first went to the soul secsoity he was in shock and aw which caused him to wander around. Jin loves to eat food, Food can make jin go from sad to happy.Thats why his friends always give him steak when he is sad with noodles.
__________________________________________________________________________

B A C K G R O U N D

[b]History/Background : Jins takes mostly after the looks of his mother a shinigami.One day 100 years before the events of the bleach story

Jin mother mei came to the human world to hunt down a hollow on new years day. When she chased this hollow it led her to japan in the city of tokyo after this hollow was easly dispatched it gave mei a few hours to relax and rest and explore when this happened she went to the family bath houses that allowed mix bathing since it was close she thought no one would be in there she bathed and washed her self with the new soap they have in the human world .

After a few minutes of soaking in the waters still being hot The young own of the baths walked in naked since he had prepared the baths for himself he took a step in noticing the seemingly young woman bathing in the he dropped his things and was surpised as she stared back at him and his equipment was kind of big and erection yad yad sex happens threw some strange happening mei became pregnate the following nine months seemed to breeze by and then jin was born jins mother was fulled away to go fight hollows in the soul secoity so jin lived with his father when jin was 16 his father remarried and they drifted fully apart though jin remembered his father telling a story that his mother was an angle he though he didnt think much of this. till later.

near the end of jins life he was dieing of sickness since due to a fight on the street that got a wound of his infected later jin passed on to the soul world.

__________________________________________________________________________

Zanpakutô Spirit Name:tenchu
Appearance:
Inner World:

Sealed Zanpakutô Apperance :

Sealed Zanpakutô Abilities:the sealed Zanpakutō allows jin to to stick t surfaces and walk on them such as a wall or ceiling

PhatomTech:

Release:shine with the wrath of heaven tenchu

Shikai Description:

Shikai Abilities:in shinkai tenchu allows jin to turn the metal blade into a lighting blade. the effects of the lighting blade would allow jin to strike deadly blows, by sending electric charges into the enemy's body threw slicing or stabbing or slicing the skin this would add a burning type of attack to his blade by zapping the molecules and atoms and paralyzing them .the draw black to this is the blade is veary short and the power is only on for 6 minutes and it takes 10 to reacharge the sign of the power being chraged is the dragons eyes lighting blue

~~Bankai Description:~~

Bankai Abilities:in bankai form jin is able to summon lighting bolts,he is able to do this by swinging the blade around and focusing energy into it. this is caused by a collecting of static energy partials since the blade works like and electron magnet butthe this power is control in how fast the swings are slwo swing will cause bolts to spray out and shoot towards were they are aimed fast swings simply cover the edges and point of the blade. the drawback of this is that if charged for to long a bolt will up next to jin the lighting when hitting the enemy does 2 things, 1 it burns the flesh on contact making the enemy feel alot of pain and it stuns them from the lighting unbalancing the electric charges in the nerves. but for instance if jin hit someone int arm with this it will only effect that arm

__________________________________________________________________________

R P S A M P L E

Roleplay Sample:Jin would toss and tun in his sleep as cold sweat would drip down his body, beinng on his back now he would seem still and in one jult shoot up. he would sit up yelling."AAAAAHH!"the male would pant slowly as he would recall his nightmare shiverin,.'ewww naked byakuya. Then jin would move the covers off himself as he did so he would be in western style boxers,getting up moving threw the night with a tiredness in his eyes. He would walk over to the count and next to him would eb the sink.. jin would come searching around for a cup finding one in the cabinet. He walked over to the sink as his left hand would reach out, and turn the water one. He placed the cup under the stream till the cup filled half way, he then bring the cup to his lips chugging the water down he placed the cup in the sink and turn the water off Has he went back to his bed sliding in the ocver and turning on his side to go to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________

S K I L L S H E E T [

[u]General Skills

Durability:adept
General Speed:beginner
Strength:beginner
Weapon Skill:adept

Racial Skills

Hoho:beginner
Kidō:begginner
Zanjutsu:adept
Hakudabeginner:

Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:47 pm

Personality is much to be desired.
>>>>Two out of ten or three out of ten sentences detected.
>>>>Very vague in what, when, why, and how.

Shikai Ability requires more details, but you won't get it so it would not matter.
>>>>Question 1: How does it work like that?
>>>>Question 2: Drawback?
>>>>Question 3: How does it affect your character and the target(s)?
>>>>Question 4: Limitations?

Bankai Ability requires more details, but you won't get it so it would not matter.
>>>>Question 1: How does it work like that?
>>>>Question 2: Drawback?
>>>>Question 3: How does it affect your character and the target(s)?
>>>>Question 4: Limitations?

True Age is questionable because it is far too old to be considered a healthy age for the Shino Academy Student.
>>>>1000 year old is older than most Shinigami captains.
>>>>1000 years back sets you back before the modern era, so historically incorrect.
>>>>Most Shinigami students are under 100 years old.

Lack of spaces and incorrect uses of punctuation marks made the application's chances of acceptance rather moot.
>>>>Detected virtually everywhere.
>>>>Most places have no spaces between words.
>>>>Most places have no spaces after the punctuation.
>>>>Many places have incorrect punctuation like a period ( . ) instead of a comma ( , ).

Denied until fixed. Next reviewer will be KenjiShiba after this is fixed.

Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:17 pm

Alrighty, So far.

Personality needs 10 sentences. I counted eight.
I know it's not a big deal but, removing " (What is your characters name? First and last name, middle names are fine if you want}" From Name Gender and Age would be good.

Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:45 pm

After you edited this app, I do not see anything else wrong with this a part from what UHCM marked with the Grammar. Although this isn't a BIG thing, it may cause a problem with people understanding your posts or something. If you have any trouble I or a staff member are happy to help.

APPROVED
Application Checklist