If It Hadn't Been for Love [Reida, Open]

Reida had dreamed about this day for years.

No, that wasn't quite right. Dreams were pleasant things. This was more like a nightmare, she supposed. But it was a nightmare of her own making. Her own choosing. She'd wanted nothing more than to see the Gotei burn after what had happened in the war, and now that it was happening, she had to admit that it made her feel exactly how she'd expected.

Empty. Hollow. Vengeance wasn't ever going to be fulfilling, and she'd known that from day one. But was it supposed to be about being fulfilled? Who could say? The sound of a gunshot was enough to work as a full stop to that line of thought, as Reida blew a hole clean through a fallen Shinigami's skull and continued to move through the alleyways that wound through the Seireitei.

This place was a deathtrap. Maybe it was a good thing she was better in close-quarters. A better thing that she'd already laid countless traps through the way she'd come. Anyone on her tail would have more than a few detonations to try and contend with.

When the chaos begin, Hana was overwhelmed. She did not know what to do, who to help, or where to go. She just knew that she had to do something. She grabbed her zanpakuto and made her way toward the battles. As she was running, something caught her attention. It was a familiar energy that stopped her in the middle of the Seireitei. ‘Wait… How?’ Hana looked out over the Seireitei, using her reikaku to try and focus in on his energy, only to have something else distract her.

It was a loud, reverberating pop that echoed out from her side. Forgetting about that initial energy, she turned her attention that direction and ran toward it, hoping she could help. However, she quickly came to a stop as a woman came into sight. She clearly wasn’t a Shinigami, but she wasn’t an Arrancar or hollow either. Hana was getting better at identifying the differences, but this just confused her.

“I do not believe you are an Arrancar, so may I ask your purpose here?”

The battlefield was no place for people who couldn't protect themselves. Reida's focus had been on real threats; soldiers, wounded people who might have been a problem if they got up and had enough time.

Someone like this had slipped under her radar, and Reida whipped around to point her gun at the girl as she sized her up. It wasn't like that had been the most astute observation; but the question was one she hadn't been asked prior. It was kind of a stupid question to ask an attacker, after all, but maybe it was a way to stall for time.

At the same time, though, it was working. It was a question Reida wanted to answer.

"I'm here to collect on what the Gotei took from me."

Hana’s fight or flight instinct stopped on “freeze” as a gun was leveled at her. Hana could tell a little about this woman’s power levels, but understood that it was superior to her own, and likely by quite a bit. What intrigued Hana most was Reida’s eyes, a mixture between rage and sadness that must have pushed this woman to a breaking point. Her answer did reveal enough for Hana to question…

“What… What did they take?” Hana asked. The reference to the Gotei as a “they” was revealing though. Did she not consider herself as part of them? She wasn't wearing a traditional shihakusho, but more casual clothing. Or was this merely a self-preservation tactic to imply she wasn’t so she wouldn’t be killed?

Reida hadn't really expected to be asked that question, but she also didn't soften from it. No, if anything, her expression hardened by several orders of magnitude, the flame of hatred burning behind her eyes as she spoke. Her voice wasn't simply hollow; it was filled with hate. Hate for the Gotei, hate for every Shinigami that had led her here.

"A good man. Three beautiful little babies."

Her finger tightened around the trigger of her Fullbring, thinking about how easy it would be to simply put down the girl in front of her and continue on her way. But she didn't seem like Gotei. She was, at a glance, someone caught in the crossfire.

Reida could do a lot of evil, but she wouldn't become like them.

"Wh-What?” Hana’s voice cracked under the disbelief. She had been led to think the Gotei was supposed to be a good thing, filled with good hardworking people. They had their problems, of course. There was a history of darkness that would forever plague them, but babies? That had to be a mistake. That was too dark… too evil.

With the expression of a woman trying to blink back her own tears, Hana’s eyes looked toward a wall as she tried to comprehend what was just said. It had to be one, just one horrible, evil, Shinigami that deserved execution. “They’re not… I have f…” Hana was scared to admit she had friends here. To tell a woman that lost that much that “they weren’t all bad.” Hana knew how she would feel in that scenario.

“An apology…” Hana even laughed at the idea. She quickly wiped away a tear. “A good man and three beautiful babies… You deserve justice… They deserve justice, but this…” Hana glanced around the Seireitei, a gesture to the war around them.

"This is what happened down there during the war. The Gotei came in, doin' what they said was the right thing. Sure, I ain't no lover of them demons. They took my eye, after all. But that's all they took. And when they took it, it was on purpose."

Reida's eye flicked backward, briefly, as she heard one of her traps a ways off detonating. That was at least one shinigami dead. Hopefully more, if she had her way. Just as quickly, however, her attention turned back to the young lady in front of her. This kind of innocence made her sick, if only because it reminded her of something she'd never had.

"The shinigami didn't do a damn thing to protect anyone. I saw New York after the war. I saw my own hometown. The only thing I didn't see was my family, because I couldn't even find 'em in all the ashes. And at the end of the day, it was all just the Gotei 'doin' their job.' You think I should feel guilty, when they're sufferin' now too?"

She did. That was maybe the most upsetting part of all, for Reida. That she knew no one deserved what she'd gone through. That she knew, above all, what those smiling faces in her home would have thought about the road she was walking.

So, this woman’s family was just collateral damage in the war against the Demons? That realization sparked countless questions in Hana's mind. Those thoughts were cut off by some sort of detonation occurring behind Reida. Hana took a breath as fear held back every desire to run forward and find out what happened.

“I do not know… It feels horrible to say you should feel guilty after what you lost, but is not equally as horrible to make the families here suffer that same tragedy? But by your own word, it was a terrible accident. You will not be able to say the same.”

"It was a war. You know what you do in a war? You keep the civilians out of it. Least, you're supposed to."

Reida lowered her gun from its readied position, though only because she didn't think she'd need to pull a moment's notice shot on this girl. Better to be aware of the full surroundings than on a hair trigger for just one target, especially one she was confident she could probably tear apart with her bare hands.

"But the Gotei weren't none too interested in that, were they? So here I am. Putting your people outta their misery. Better'n getting killed by them Arrancar, ain't it? I sure's hell wouldn't wanna end up one more soul in one'a them."

That much was true, if nothing else. Even now, even in her revenge, Reida understood that what she was doing was, in many ways, undermining the efforts of the Hollows she had come here with. That her hatred was still offering these people a far better alternative to dying at the hands of her ostensible 'allies.'

"I'll hate shinigami for the rest'a my life. I won't ever feel guilty when they die. When they suffer. When they get what's comin'. But whether I'd come here or not, this woulda happened. Doin' this cleanup duty's just catharsis for me."

Hana was new and far more naive than she realized. She hadn’t been a part of any of these wars; she simply wanted to exorcise Hollows, help souls move on, and discover what she truly wanted from life. In fact, that is what she was sure most people wanted to do. She thought back to Hiroe, Kaito, Koga, Josh… These weren’t blood thirsty murderers that went out of their way to harm someone, to end a life.

“I cannot believe that,” Hana said, a small hint of resolve in her voice as she looked hard at Reida. “It is easy to lump everyone together as inhuman monsters when anger has taken such a strong hold on your heart. I wish there was something I could do to help you find a sense of peace in this, and I am sincerely sorry for how much you have suffered, but not everyone in this realm is a Shinigami, and many Shinigami do not deserve what you have helped bring upon them here.

I drink pineapple smoothies, read romance novels, and hope to find a boyfriend. My friend, Hono, goes out of her way to make sure her people are fed and takes care of her family. Joshua is always there when I need his help, even if the stars are still visible. Tento is a bit of a flirt, but it is always in jest and with the intention of brightening someone's day. There are people here too, not monsters.”