Heart's Crucifixion [Johann, Violet]

"Johann. You have quite a lovely name, Violet."

A hand slowly reached up to gently pat her on the head. It was hardly easy to find a place to start when it came to talking about problems such as these. The old man's eyes lowered to the bench as he took a moment to think himself. It was clear that there was a lot on her mind. Well, if nothing else, he knew where a good place to begin was. Even if she kept him there for hours, or even all day, he was more than fine with that.

"Well, my first thought is to keep it simple and start from the beginning, but, if there's anything in particular you want to talk about, that's fine too. No matter how long it takes, I'll be right here to listen."

Violet was silent for quite a while. Her mind darted between different things she could talk about, each of them creating a new knot in her stomach. She wasn’t the type to talk about this kind of thing, and the idea of “letting family business known to the public” made her feel sick, yet another thing left over from the abuse she got from her father. It was the reason why she never spoke up… He’d hit her again.

“I…” she started, hesitating, and feeling that pain begin to rise in her chest. She closed her eyes tight, forcing herself to calm down. “I hurt a friend of mine…” Violet admitted. “At least, I hope he’s still my friend… I was… upset and panicking… I grabbed the nearest thing that I knew would hurt and threw it at him so… fucking… hard. How could I do that?” Violet brought both hands to her face and began crying.

“He was bleeding… I never even said sorry. I don’t even know how bad it was because I left… I never even checked on him,” Violet heard a buzz and pulled her phone out of her purse. “And he keeps texting me to make sure I’m okay!” Violet said angrily. She raised the phone and went to slam it on the floor, but she stopped. She checked the message. ‘He’s leaving town… If he’s smart, he’ll forget about me.’

Johann remained still and patient as he waited for her to speak, if she wished to at all. His expression shifted from a gentle kindness to one of sympathy as he listened. So, she had hurt someone she cared about. It was something that he understood, to some extent, and the story caused Johann's gaze to lower in shame. But, he banished the thought from his mind -- this was not about him right now.

As she began to cry, Johann would once again put a hand on her shoulder, while holding out a handkerchief for her. However, an eyebrow rose in curiosity as she mentioned something important, right before she checked her phone. He knew that people sometimes did things that were deeply regrettable when upset and flustered, but, that little addition, that her friend was messaging her to make sure that she was okay...

"We all make mistakes when our emotions are running high, Violet. Some are...more regrettable than others, but, from what I've heard, it seems that this friend still does care about you, enough to be messaging you, seemingly constantly too, if I might add."

Still holding out the item for her and gently tapping the cap of the water bottle, Johann smiled as he looked to her phone, pointing toward it.

"May I see what he's sent you?"

Violet was surprised at him. She looked between the old man and the handkerchief, hesitating multiple times before she finally had the courage to take it from him. She gentle wiped under her eyes and then held the cell phone out to him, unlocked.

“He even left me food…” Violet said after the old man had been reading for a little bit. There wasn’t anything in her phone she remembered would be a problem, though some recent texts did show that she had already gone through an entire drug deal. It was easy to assume that was everything she had hidden in her purse.

Johann took the phone, looking at the messages. From what he could tell, it didn't seem like this Vanyel character was bothered much about the situation, and was more concerned about her. That was rather peculiar, but, then again, from what this girl was going through, perhaps he knew more than him. If so, his lack of worry for his own safety was more understandable, though still concerning.

"So, he had some work issues to attend to that required him leaving the city temporarily. He left you food, messaged you to make sure that you knew where he was and apologized for the sudden departure."

Johann held the phone out for her to take back, readjusting himself in his seat and resting his hands on his cane.

"That, to me, says that he's worried about you and is wanting to return as soon as he's able, and that he didn't even want to leave in the first place. You may have hurt him, but, he doesn't seem to be dropping you out of his life."

Johann put a hand on her shoulder again, a warm smile across his face as he gently rubbed her back.

"When he gets back, why not try to apologize to him? It's better to convey these things in person, and, it's never too late to do so, after all -- as long as the other party is willing to listen, of course. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or even the next day, but, think about what you want to say to him when he gets back. Can you do that for me, Violet?"

With a shaky hand, Violet took the phone back and slid it into her purse. With the way the old man was saying it, things didn’t come off that bad, but all Violet remembered was waking him up with nightmares, yelling at him, and throwing that damn crystal. Violet looked over to her shoulder, where the old man was touching her, and then to him again. The light back rub was strangely comforting.

“I… Uh… I can try…” Violet gave a nod that was difficult to even notice. “I’ll try…”

With a warm smile and a light nod of his head, Johann slowly got to his feet, reaching down to gently pat Violet on the head.

"Good girl. That's all I ask, is for you to try. Enjoy your time at the beach, my dear. If you'd like to talk again, I'm sure you can find my office, or current residence here. Either works, just look for Johann Arant, I'm sure it wouldn't long to find me."

Johann took in a deep breath, turned to face Violet once more with a smile, a light nod of reassurance, before he walked away. He couldn't expect her to talk to him about everything, all at once, to a man she had only just met.

But, perhaps, one day, she'd be comfortable enough to confide in him, or even that friend who seemed to care so much about her. For now, however, he could only give her the advice that he had, and let her be able to reach him another time.