Taking the Evening Cool [Fuuen, Kaminari]

It seemed that someone had been asking around about him lately. Well, that in itself was hardly unusual. Whether it was on account of interested women who were unaware he was a taken man, or those with money to spend requesting he write them a poem, he had become something of an unintentional name in some circles. This, however, was not one of the usual suspects. It was a name he didn't recognize, and a face he hadn't seen before. Well, there was only one thing to do about that, then.

Walking into the 2nd Division with his usual refined confidence, Fuuen asked around among several of the unseated members, just to confirm who he was looking for. He was right, of course, but it was best to be sure. After he'd asked a few, he made his way to the office of the 4th Seat, and knocked politely.

"Officer Hatakeyama? Substitute Fuuen, from the 7th Division. I hoped to have a moment of your time?"

Kaminari had been happily spending her days teaching, training, or searching for memory-help from a man she could not locate, so she was more down than normal. She tried perking up when someone in her Division came to her, but the rumors of her dour mood spread enough that most left her alone, and one tried brightening her day with a plate of cookies. She took them, of course, and used the sweet treat as a snack while she dove into the significant stack of paperwork she allowed to pile up. The monotonous scratch of pen to paper stopped with a knock.

“Yeah?” she called out louder than she meant to, possibly with a bit too much excitement as well. Hours cooped up in a boring office with nothing for entertainment or real socialization was not doing good on her psyche.

It’s him? What kind of luck, blessing, or miracle was this about to be? Kaminari asked many people, both in the Seventh and out of it about this “Fuuen,” but never expected him to show up at her office. What would he want with her? He must have learned she was looking for him. “Uh… Y-Yes, please, come in!” Kaminari took a few seconds to finish the last packet she needed to complete, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. “Sorry about the mess. Things have gotten a little piled up, and I was definitely not expecting anyone, let alone you." Sliding the file into the complete pile, she rubbed the back of her head. “That sounded rude, sorry about that… So, I have a theory, but just in case I'm wrong, how can I help you?”

"Hm? Oh, that's quite fine. I know my appearance is rather short notice, but I didn't wish to let the matter wait. I'd been told by a few people that someone had been asking around about me, and it was little trouble to put together who it was."

Indeed, Fuuen was a man who understood the faces of others quite well, and it was all too easy to put together who was likely asking about him simply through a few questions about appearance and if they happened to know anything else. Could he have simply waited for someone to give him a name? Maybe, if they'd known one. But there was a certain joy in figuring that all out himself, anyway. And, besides, meeting Kaminari here in person told him that the portrait he'd drawn based only on those questions had been more or less spot on.

"I'm hardly a man who draws too much attention toward myself, so there are only a few things you're likely here to ask me about. If it's with regard to portraiture or poems, then it would have been much simpler to just seek me out directly. This, then, is likely to do with matters related to my memory, correct?"

Kaminari's eyes widened as Fuuen struck the bullseye. She hadn't revealed her reasons for asking about him, making it all the more surprising that he knew. Her fragmented memories were a constant source of frustration, and she longed to discover a way to piece them back together, or at least start the process.

"Busted," Kaminari smiled, leaning back in her chair. "How were you able to tell?" Kaminari made light of it for a bit, but then her expression saddened. "Okay, so I am trying to help someone who lost their memories a century ago, at least that is when they think it happened," Though a partial lie, it was a quite convincing one that Kaminari had repeated dozens upon dozens of times. "Occasionally, they get like... these random glimpses that they know are memories, but have not had anything substantial return. I heard about your memory issues and told them I'd ask."

Fuuen was the attentive sort, as any artist naturally was, and so he simply listened as the woman before him explained the issue at hand. He would have preferred to speak directly to this friend of hers, though admittedly, such a comment did make him consider whether or not said friend was especially far away. Regardless, he wasn't here to make accusations.

"I'm far from an expert on matters of the mind or the soul, but the existence of those fragmented memories means that, in some capacity or another, they remain in the mind. Accessing them is another matter, however. My memories only returned after I had returned to a level of swordsmanship that at least somewhat resemble my previous abilities. Even now, however, not all of that technique as returned. Whether it is simply locked away, or would require I functionally relearn it in entirety, is not especially clear."

He was getting a bit off track, though, and so he shrugged that matter off before returning to the point of this "friend's" memories.

"Regardless. Finding oneself more aligned with the life previously lived, in my experience, leads to more of those memories resurfacing."

Kaminari understood the method enough, but implementing it was the difficult part. The woman returned to her chair behind the desk and sat down. A small sigh escaped her lips as she rubbed her forehead in frustration.

“I see…” she muttered. “How can someone achieve that when their life is trapped behind a wall? Going down the wrong path could jeopardize her chances of regaining her memories. Do you know of any way I can help her rediscover who she was? How did you realize your connection was swordsmanship?” Kaminari worried that his success was due to luck or the support of old friends... She had neither.

"Memories don't define us in entirety, I've found. Or, rather, to have a stable identity and sense of self means that those formative events remain in one's being. Even without my memories, I pursued the art of swordplay simply because it was what I felt passionate toward. If one finds something appealing, then one certainly would have found it so previously."

That much had always been the driving force in Fuuen's life. He had never particularly considered that pursuing his art would lead to his memories returning. As he had even told Yugiri, he would have been perfectly content if they never returned.

"Such amnesia certainly is burdensome, moreso when one has no others as common points of reference. But those indispensable facts about ourselves are the things which transcend mere amnesia."

Uuuugh… Kaminari put her head down on her desk, arms acting as a pillow. This wasn’t exactly the news she wanted. Something much more streamlined would have been preferred. Besides, she wasn’t sure she had anything she was really that passionate about, and whatever this missing piece of herself was, the one that kept pushing her desire to remember, was constantly eating at her.

"What it is... is lonely," she said, eyes unfocused and looking elsewhere. When she spoke again, her voice was low and melancholy. "Not having anyone who remembers you… or cares about you… Whether anyone is looking for you… Not knowing who is lying, who is telling the truth… It’s isolating.”

"It is, yes. I wouldn't deny that truth."

Fuuen hadn't quite been so despondent about his own dealing with this issue, but then again, he was someone who tended not to dwell on things for long. He went where the winds took him, and so that lack of attachments had hardly meant much to him. Even so, he was more than intelligent enough to understand that he was the outlier in this particular matter.

"Well, if this friend of yours ever requires a friend who understands her plight, I'd be quite glad to have her over to tea."

Not that he was particularly fooled by her ruse at this point, and really hadn't been at any point, but he was willing to continue paying it a bit of lip service, even if he had to imagine Kaminari herself was smart enough to know she'd given it away.

At times, it felt like all Kaminari could do was dwell on it. What and who was lost? Is there someone looking for her or a place she is supposed to be? Those answers would likely be lost forever, and this empty feeling would remain.

A smile grew on Kaminari’s face at the emphasis of a single word. Yeah, she had given it away. It was only a partial slip, born out of exhaustion more than anything. Most people didn’t figure it out and assumed she was curious due to her job.

Kaminari kept her head laying in her arms as she looked up to Fuuen. She nodded, “That’d be nice. She may ask to take you up on that one day.” With a deep breath, Kaminari pushed herself up from her chair and walked around to the side of her desk. She held out a hand to Fuuen to shake. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time, so thank you for seeking me out. I seriously appreciate it.”