Godly Ordained Right (Helle/Open)

"I feel I will have to get used to answering that question."

However, she did not answer it, yet. Her eyes lingered here and there as they walked, noticing areas that are still being reconstructed, new buildings, and the general change of environment. Her emerald eyes shined with an aloof aura, but it's hard to place where her thoughts are as the trio continued. However, her steps would stop, halting without warning as her eyes trailed towards a specific area. Her lips slowly formed a frown as she stared at the spot that used to be home to a cafe that she regularly stopped by.

"Do not fret over me. There are more important matters for your attention to tarry, Liltotto."

Obviously affected by the state of the City, Helle's mood felt different, more refined and dutiful.

Her gaze went across the city as well, a strong frustrated huff expelling from her nose as Helle diverted her questions away from herself and knocked it off into an indiscernible scope. She wanted to snap but she tempered her nerve with a deep breath, she was her friend second and her boss first in their current setting, and yelling at your boss that suddenly reappeared and left any who saw her gawking in awe isn't the most flattering sight.

"Important matters? Like the hole we can't do anything about right now?" A calm retort came from her as she appeared visibly upset, but keeping her tongue cool, "Or the frightened, traumatized people living in a progressively rebuilt city we can't simply undo? Or the Gotei farting about because they can and we can't just tell them to fuck off? I know they're there, they haven't stopped being issues, but me whinin' bout them isn't gonna fix em either; that shit's an entire process that'll take time."

Staring Helle straight in the eyes, she'd sigh and continue, "I want to take care of what's in front of me first, what I actually have control over. And that's me asking if you're doing okay, and asking what you want to do moving forward. Kay? Otherwise it's a desperate flail in open water."

"I too have control..."

And that means Helle will answer Liltitto at her leisure, if ever. However, there were things Liltotto shared that worsened Helle's gaze, leaving the woman's emerald eyes sharp enough to pierce through a wall. Her gaze did not lessen in intensity as she focused her gaze on Liltotto, only making it clear that the direction the other blonde's heading is not something she should commit to.

"I honestly hope that every person who looks upon me do not come to the conclusion that I require checking up on. Obviously there isn't enough flailing in open waters. If so, my city wouldn't have been destroyed by a torrent."

But, for as peeved as Liltotto had made her, Helle found herself dissatisfied with herself. She was someone who could have done something, but personal grudges ruined her. Nothing of the sort will ever stop her from doing her job again, but she has other matters before her. Their Shinigami ally had asked a question.

"Ichigo, a hero turned villain. I was not in proper form to handle him, but I have returned, better than before, to save my people."

Emphasis on better, Helle's harsh eyes had bounced between Akira and Liltotto before she turned and began walking.

Brief confusion to Helle's expression turned into heated irritation by the insinuation, mouth parted ever so slightly, a breath rising in her throat to retort, her brows knit tightly in indignance... Only for the corners of her mouth to relax, sharpened teeth ready to snap words tucking reluctantly behind closing lips. That irritation transformed into hurt, visibly cringing a little for a moment, her gaze scattered as if searching for another way to respond, only for it to become a look of defeat. Shoulders slouched, a glint of pain in her expression, before her eyes shut and smothered those feelings into a pure neutral expression; Be upset later, she decided on her own. Squaring her posture back, a deep sigh would leave her,

"Yes ma'am," Was her only response, it was the only proper response in this position in her mind. What once told of friendliness, longing, and relief, was naught but a rigid posture, an unreadable gaze cast somewhere below and away from Helle; she would walk alongside as a soldier rather than a friend - that was what this moment told her.

The only other time she would look up was with Helle's insistence of being better enough to handle such a situation were it to happen again, the harsh exchange of looks feeling more like a question of if she was better, enough to not fail their people.

"There won't be a repeat of this," Her voice, having grown cold and taut, would say with a brief look upon some scaffolding, spoken to neither of their small band in particular.

Questions were thrown her way, questions she did not have the answer to. In fact, she knows absolutely nothing about the situation, and even if she did, sharing any of it with a new recruit would be nothing but stupid. However, the very fact she knows as much as him spoiled her mood further. Each step brought her further into the city, each second passing bringing her gaze nothing but horror. She did not know how she would feel once she had returned, but the dismay all around her is nothing more than a detriment to her once chipper mood.

They had looked at her with splendor and wonder, but it should have never been that. She should have been here...

Suddenly, she stopped again, repeating herself like a broken record. However, this time, she brought a hand up.

"Erfassen." A whisper, a command.

Reishi shot up around Liltotto and her, separating the two blondes from the Shinigami. Without a word, Helle directed her fingers upward, the enclosed sphere rising into the air with the two departing from their third wheel. Helle found herself feeling nothing in particular for leaving the man asking questions. Her thoughts are too occupied to allow a stranger in.

"Liltotto. I would like to apologize, but somethings are hard to explain. I came here to help the Vandenreich because it was my ignorance that led it astray. My emotions got the better of me. As it stands, I'm not even your Director."

Her eyes fell back onto the City of Lights.

"Look at this mess."

Gaze low, sensation smothered, she'd march alongside her company as a dutiful form accompanying the return of what was comparably tall and brilliant, a glaring sun to her quiet darkness. Maybe she didn't even see her the way she thought anymore, maybe whatever she went through to better herself smothered out any even ground they could have had. She could feel the difference between them, but she wasn't entirely sure if that extended to perceptions-

Was she uttering...? Quickly looking to Akira, she realized what the woman next to her was doing, and in a leap of instinctive care she opened her mouth to utter a single syllable of the man's name, before it was shut off by the barrier, Liltotto blinking rapidly but quickly got her bearings of the situation - one that felt all too familiar to her; they were pulled away from the earth by Helle's spellcraft, her words of uncertainty rousing the woman from her colder demeanor.

There was a brief pause in their exchange, the blonde taking a deep breath, allowing those feelings she crushed down for later to rise back up in their ugly, undistilled form.

As those words finished leaving the Quincy's mouth, the hardest slap she could muster would flash on Helle's cheek - what may have been comparatively the hit of a child to such a woman, but she didn't care, grabbing the mighty force's collar in the same movement with her hands and pulling her to look her close in the face, "Look at this mess first! Look at what's in front of you before you lose your fucking gaze to the horizon again!"

The mere idea of withholding possible insubordination was thrown out the window with their isolation from the public, and the mere suggestion there was no hierarchical distance between the two of them - they were back to communing on equal terms, and she would snap up every second of opportunity to express her true thoughts.

"You've been gone for months without even a message or idea of where you went! The last time I saw you, you were a fucking catastrophe, Helle! You really expect to show up again and just pretend you didn't go MIA for almost a year?! I thought you were DEAD, Helle! Do you really think you weren't the only one feeling screwed up by seeing the city like this, to hear that friends and comrades were injured or near dying?! I almost lost my only parent, AGAIN! And I wasn't even here to do anything about it! Even if I was, that orange bastard still would've gotten away with it, because I couldn't figure my own damn self out in time!"

Her breath shook, it trembled, her grip only tightening on her collar, but her pull weakened. Tears pooled in her eyes, embarrassment stinging her chest, "I thought I lost you. I thought I was gonna lose everything all over again. But I want to fight so I never have to go through that again, but even I have to admit I can't do it all on my own, you can't either, nobody can, nobody should be expected to do that much horseshit on their own, they'd go nuts. You'd go nuts trying!"

Her trembling fingers finally released her clothing, sniffing and rubbing her face, "...So just take it a step 'atta time, and talk to me. Please. The city isn't gonna sink tomorrow - we can figure this out so nothing has to crumble. I don't want to lose anybody else."