Ghosts from the Past (Komamura, Shaoling)

"I've heard of that cowardly act, yes." When news of the Seireitei hospital explosion reached the Rukongai, reactions were mixed. Certainly many chalked it up to simple Shinigami nonsense they wanted no part of, though others were more worried about becoming victims themselves. Here in the outer reaches of the Rukongai many citizens simply didn't care. But Sajin did. How could he not? When he first heard the news, outrage filled his heart. Whatever or whoever the cause, he wanted to see them brought to justice.

"If I knew anything about that I'd tell you. But I haven't heard anything. As for Shinigami, I doubt you'll find any in these parts. Just the occasional Sakutaiso officer." Thinking about it, Sajin wasn't sure why Shaoling would be involved in investigating the attack. Was she just feeling generous? "Why is someone adamant about not being in the Gotei helping? Just out of the kindness of your heart?" Sajin figured there was more to her story, and he was curious about who the Suì-Fēng he knew had come to be over this last century.

"Kindness? No. However, there are former students and subordinates of mine who were injured, a few who died. As a teacher, I'm not intent on letting that go unpunished."

Of course, anyone who had actually known the woman known as Sui Feng a century ago could already see how much she had changed. She, Shaoling, was not someone who cast lives into the meat grinder for results. She was not someone who prioritized hollow victory at any cost. She did not exactly value life, but she did value those who had left some impact on her. The loss of them, in particular those she'd yet to provide any real word to of her pride in them, was a heavier weight than she was used to carrying.

"It's a personal affair. Nothing more."

At least her heart isn't entirely blocked off from the rest of the world. mused Sajin as he listened to her reason for investigating. At least, that's what he hoped. The Second Squad Captain he knew was a ruthlessly efficient woman who placed importance upon the mission above all. A great Captain in that respect, and an even greater Onmitsukidō Commander-in-chief. Not a woman he ever would have wanted to work for, however. But maybe, just maybe, this Shaoling was different; maybe worth taking a risk on. The answer she gave was promising enough.

The armored giant shifted in place, turning his body to search the narrow alley for something. After a second or two he seemed to have found whatever he was looking for and took a couple steps where he reached a sizable crate still in pretty good condition. He pressed his hand down upon its top and then, satisfied it was solid enough, turned around and carefully sat atop it.

A sigh could be heard coming from behind Sajin's obscuring helmet as he seemed to be looking at the ground between his feet and Shaoling. "I want to say 'If only I'd been there, maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did', but I've never been good at saving people. Couldn't save Tōsen, nor Genryusai-dono." Sajin's massive hands reached up to his helmet and carefully pried it off, revealing Shaoling's initial gut feeling to be true: he was in fact Sajin Komamura. His face, now more rugged, his fur wilder and less well-kept, was unmistakably [i]him[/ii].

"I bear the burden of living in shadow, and all that came from it. Demons loosed in Soul Society. Another World War. The darkness in Ichigo Kurosaki's heart. I bear the burden of it all." Though clearly shouldering a terrible weight, Sajin was no downtrodden man too guilt-ridden to act. His yellow eyes, filled with the flames of his soul, affixed to Shaoling's as he spoke again "My debt to Genryusai-dono remains unpaid. If there is anything I can do to aid your investigation Shaoling, I will do it."

"Tosen and Captain Commander Yamamoto both made their decisions in the end. What we could or couldn't have done differently isn't worth ruminating on."

There was hardly much surprise on Shaoling's face as Sajin formally revealed himself, for she'd already been quite thoroughly confident in his identity. If she were a more emotional woman, perhaps she might have expressed something at seeing an old comrade she'd thought long dead. Even now, having warmed no small amount, she was hardly the sort to display such emotion even if she'd felt it. Besides, she had grown all too capable of simply moving on from death.

"The Gotei of today is not Captain Commander Yamamoto's Gotei, though some of the shinigami who died were old enough to have served in those days. My investigation is for the sake of vengeance, Komamura. Not debt, or justice."

It wasn't so much a testing statement, but one that Shaoling nevertheless felt was prudent to lay bare. She knew, as every captain had, that Sajin had always been an honorable man.

"Still, your help would be appreciated. I think some of the others from our time have grown complacent."

The lack of surprise on Shaoling's face was a little shocking to Sajin, who thought he had done a decent job of concealing his identity. She always was a suspicious one though, he thought. Someone who, if you're a criminal, you would not want leading the investigation. He decided she must have suspected based on his size and decision to wear armor to hide his appearance, facts he always knew could reveal him. Nothing to be done about it now.

Sajin stayed quiet, silently ruminating on Shaoling's words. Nothing she said was untrue. He couldn't go back in time and change things. Focusing on the past was just making himself suffer, but moving past what happened, and what didn't happen, was no simple feat. "All who act do so with different intentions. You may seek revenge, but it is still justice that moves these hands." Sajin raised both gauntlet-covered hands to emphasize his point, then, spoken a bit more quietly, said "Though I'm sure it wishes it had a better arbiter."

Not wanting to wallow, Sajin stood back up to his full height, the crate groaning tremendously as it was relieved of his bulk. "I have only been able to discover the fates of a few of our comrades. It was nice to hear Rukia Kuchiki became a Captain. Many of the rest have either retired or passed on, from what I know." After just a second of silence, with fierceness in his eyes, Sajin assured the woman of his own determination "Do not mistake my absence for complacency though, Shaoling. At this moment I am anything but."

"Justice is impartial. Sometimes so much so that it's cruel. I don't think it minds someone like you."

Shaoling wasn't really good at offering supportive words, and it wasn't even really in her nature to do so, but perhaps that camaraderie of having served together during better times was enough that she felt it was worth adding that little bit. She did, however, seem to have a faint twinkle in her eye as she smirked very faintly, speaking again in a tone that seemed almost impressed.

"I'm quite proud of Rukia as well, even if she hasn't found herself in too pleasant of a situation as of late. But you've kept quite the appraisal of the situation to have heard of my leaving the Feng. Then again, it did create something of a stir, given the circumstances, so I shouldn't be surprised."

That sort of awareness was good, though. It meant he truly hadn't lost his edge, and that sort of continued ability was what Shaoling felt was necessary in these times.

"So? What do you intend to do from here?"

Hearing positive reinforcement from this woman would take some getting used to, thought Sajin. Nonetheless, he was grateful; not just for that, but for having met her again at all. Though changed by time, she was a reminder of a better, though perhaps not simpler, time. Things were in their place, at least as he envisioned them, but there were plenty of problems and old enemies he was glad were dead and gone.

With a nod, Sajin both acknowledged and confirmed his efforts to keep his finger on Soul Society's pulse. No major changes or events occurred without his attention drawn to them, because even while trapped in the shadows by the bond of his word, Sajin wanted to someday be able to fight for Soul Society once more, and maybe even knew in the back of his mind it would happen. "More than most I'm sure you understand how far whispers travel in Soul Society."

Now that was the million dollar question. It was difficult for Sajin to answer as even now he didn't have a concrete plan. A year ago he had a better idea, but between the bombing and Seireitei's lockdown, he was at a bit of a loss for what to do next. He did his best to answer Shaoling anyway "Guarding the Soul Society is still my primary motivation, but after all these years I want to see the Gotei United for myself. Get a measure of it and the Captain Commander's heart. Though, just walking up to the Seireitei's gate and requesting an audience is bound to have its own difficulties." After silent consideration, Sajin turned Shaoling's question on herself "What do you plan to do? What's the next step of your investigation?"

"You think that would have difficulties? I doubt it. You're something of a hero of old, you know. I care little for the Gotei United, but I suspect you would get along well enough with the current Commander."

Shaoling's own opinion on the woman was fairly unremarkable. Competent, generally good-natured. Not the sort of woman Shaoling would have expected to be raised by Koizumi Midori, but that was presumably for the best. Arms crossed, she thought for a few more moments before shrugging rather nonchalantly, a gesture profoundly less orderly and structured than the Sui Feng of old would ever have given.

"I have found little in my time here in the Rukongai. Dead end after dead end. I suspect that there is nothing to be found out here, however. After all, who out here would be pursuing a bombing such as that in the first place? I will report back to Captain Hisakawa, and see where he wishes to go from there. As I said, I am simply doing this as a favor to an upstanding former subordinate. Should my input no longer prove useful, I will return to Earth to continue training my students."

There was a moment, then, that Shaoling's eyes seemed to harden, as if becoming more akin to the woman she had once been.

"Student."

Would he truly be greeted with open arms? Maybe. Sajin had no doubt the return of an old Captain thought dead would be cause for joy, to those who called him friend a century ago and those who've only heard of his exploits. It's the part that comes after that concerns him. Would they still be grateful for his presence after learning he sat idly by while tragedy after tragedy took place? While war was waged both here in Soul Society and in the Land of the Living? Or would they be as disgusted by his inaction as the Rukongai is of his face? The latter didn't bother him anymore, his looks not something he can control...but he could have come back. He could have saved lives.

Despite his worries, there was nothing to be gained by arguing the point with Shaoling. They were his concerns, not hers. She had enough on her plate these days. He couldn't argue with her point about there not being likely suspects here in the Rukongai, either; after all, a Rukongai resident masterminding a bombing in the Seireitei? Without already being caught? The possibility seemed unlikely to Sajin after living here for the last hundred years. The only people even capable of such a plot were those living just outside the Seireitei's walls, but even then...the idea of anyone committing such a heinous act still shook Sajin. Not since Aizen, Gin, and Tosen had he been so surprised by the evil possible here in Soul Society.

"For her to be Captain Commander I have no doubt she is a strong, virtuous woman. I'm sure I'll see for myself soon enough." Shaoling's dark gaze did not go unnoticed by Sajin who immediately inquired about her self correction "Did something happen to your other students? I've heard little of what's occurred in the Land of the Living."

“One student, of two. He disappeared one day while I was out. He isn’t the type to simply run away, and no student of mine would be weak enough to get picked off without a fight that I would have heard news of. I imagine whatever he’s off doing, he felt it was important, so I don’t intend to hunt him down.”

But even if that was true, there were some things about a person that simply did not change with time. Shaoling had grown accustomed to the people in her life disappearing, but that did not mean she took it well even now. There were few things that could pierce through the ironclad pride that she carried herself with, but the overwhelming dread that came with the disappearance of those close to her was still something she could not wholly keep away. Words she’d once said long ago, tears streaming down her face like some heartbroken child, echoed in her thoughts even now when faced with a similar circumstance: Why didn’t you take me with you?

She was simply resilient enough now to understand that it wasn’t her place.

“If you happen to cross paths with a young man named Tamabuki Yuujin, tell him that I’m tallying the days of training he’s missing.”

Even if she wasn’t searching for him, even if she was willing to let him find his own path and better himself on his own terms, Yuujin was important to Shaoling. She would express that in the ways she knew how.