Gizem

[adm]Pending.
Listen, I'm going to be brash in this grading since there's a lot of work to do on the staff front and I want to make some headway on all these things.

I am not approving this hollow in its current form for the following reasons.

The racial skills is taken verbatim from the hollow racial specs, while there is nothing wrong with this the issue comes up when there is no creative take on this and you're asking for more than the minimum. It's the bare minimum, there are no natural abilities - so what is justifying having advanced speed here for example - and there are no unique abilities which would actually give credit to its hollow skills in cero when it's supposed to be among the highest echelons of the hollow population. There are cero users below this character's desired level that has more effort put into their cero than this character has invested in their sheet.

You've got more justification in the history to explain this character's cero than their abilities, which I will commend the historic precedent for them, but no one is going to check your history if there's a conflict IC which staff needs to resolve. We're going to check your abilities and we're going to see skills that are taken verbatim from the race specs so having nothing to substantiate these skills are just going to work against you even if I did approve them in a vacuum.

"Mental Acid" is an ability formed from the strong link between the hollow's reiryoku and mind, allowing them to pervert the acidic nature of it. Rather than break down anything physically, it strips opponents of the ability to 'understand' in regards to the hollow. This starts small, from being confused by the range if attacks to the nature of its abilities, eventually going so far as to make it hard to discern whether or not they are fighting it.

These needs to be completely reworked and expanded upon, anyone can read this and come up with completely different ideas as to how their characters' are affected. There's nothing here to mention what it checks off, I don't know what "stripping my character of their understanding means".

Overall
This character feels like it has a lack of theme and identity which works against it. It being an adjuchas comes off as going purely for the high passive boost when there's zero effort to give them an overarching character into the hollow's identity. I'll use a couple of examples; Srath has multiple abilities which are tied to the fact that it's a spider. Dragon has her scales, her scales store her acid powers, and interact. As simple as Asta is she has stuff tied to her being a raven.

Generally hollows have some kind of physiological element to flavour the fact they're big spooky monsters but reading Gizem he lacks a strong theme besides being a very plain adjuchas which doesn't have much in the way of strong concept,
for a character that has lived four hundred years there's nothing historically to really flavour it because it's all just here to justify being good at cero and an adjuchas,
I don't need to comment on effort because I commented on the racial skills, very unrefined hollow power so on.
Feats are really the only thing here but again, it's just one out of four.

I'm referencing this with these points. https://www.platinumhearts.net/t24216-a-quick-guide-to-ph-applications-and-more#170905[/adm]