Where Does The Good Times Go[Ehefera, Natasha]

There was no sugarcoating it. Natasha hadn't really kept in contact with certain people in her life. Outside of a select few she spoke with recently, she had been a relatively busy woman the last few months. Duty called, with coordinator missions taking away a significant portion of her time. It wasn't the best excuse for the lack of communication, but it was something at least.

Of course, out of most of her them, her more glaring error was falling out of contact with Ehefera. Did she feel like it was an error? On one hand, for someone who had proven a source of support when she seened to be falling apart at the seams, she undoubtedly felt it was. On another, part of her deflected the whole matter, pushing it in the back of her mind. Treated it as something to worry about later. There were the occasional hospital visits after Miami, but everything else grew distanced after that. What would she even say? Play it off? Talk about things?

She didn't really know. Either way, it was definitely better to air things out now. Preparing some food ahead of time in her household, packing into a bag, Natasha traveled toward Ehefera's house on a motorcycle. Casually dressed for the occasion, a blue cap with a star engraved in the center, a long and airy t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. Casual wear. Nothing eye-catching. Twisting her cap around, Natasha parked her car safely outside Ehefera's place. Grabbing the lunch she had prepared in a basket, she walked up toward the woman's door. Rapping her fist against it a few times. Time sure did fly, she mused wryly.

Coordinator, eh? She expected that one. It was a natural reaction, truth be told. What were you supposed to say to the lady who hadn't spoken to you in months? Normally, she would have certainly told her she preferred to be referred to at Nat. That was her common namesake with all her friends, but this was clearly a little more complicated than that. Setting a familiar pace here would definitely be... interesting. Stepping into her home, Natasha turned back to the woman with a leisurely smile, lifting up the basket of food like an offering. She figured the best course of action was to carry herself as she always did. It had never failed her before, all things considered, and she definitely felt confident in her chances here. At the very least, there wasn't any hostility present in Ehefera's mannerism. Best to go at her pace for now.

"Howdy, Heff. It's been awhile. I did bring some supper along, yeah, but if your meal plans are already spoken for then I'll just place this basket off to the side. Ya busy? I figured we could catch up on lost time over a meal... if yer willin', of course."

"Fifty-fifty is fine by me. Hope ya don't mind if I steal a couple of slices."

Offering a playful quip in response, Natasha observed Ehefera somewhat curiously. There was no denying that the atmosphere had changed between them, that the casual way with which they approached one another was clearly absent here. Some part of her thought it was imperative to clear the awkwardness hanging in the air, another simply brushed it aside. It wasn't exactly something she was yearning to indulge, no matter how much she had matured regarding emotional expression. After the hospital visits, there really hadn't been much contact. Time got away, her workload increased, and she hadn't made a concerted effort to keep in contact in spite of all that. Almost as if she cut her off like a bad habit. Reflecting on it wasn't helping, though. Speaking seemed more ideal at the moment.

"Workload increased. Time got away from me real fast. I reckon that ain't much of a proper excuse for keepin' out of touch with a friend for so long, though."

Natasha toyed with her cap a bit as she motioned for the woman to follow, hazel eyes looking for a proper place to sit. A nearby table, perhaps? She wasn't particularly trying to sit in any place that would have them too close. Hell, part of her didn't even want to humor the idea of a hug. Naturally, that, too, would have been a customary action. It almost felt like they were meeting one another for the first time. Even so, she had to persist. Ignoring things any longer would only make the separation worse.

"As for what I've been up to, ain't much on my end. Workload increase. Meeting new people in other divisions. Nothin' much to write home about. Whatta bout you, Heff? Anything interestin' on your end? Heard ya' recently stepped into a position of leadership."

Cutting straight to the matter at hand was an expected reaction to her kind gesture, truth be told. Expecting anything less would have been foolish, if not an outright insult to her own ability to grasp the gravity of importance her words meant. Natasha fell silent for a moment. What defined friendship? What was shared between them was certainly interesting, a line that ought not have been crossed, yet they crossed it, and here they were now. Looking back on it, Natasha acknowledged that she was far from an entirely innocent party herself, recognized her own antithetical selfishness in the matter. It was always something that had bothered her for a long time.

The fault of simply avoiding it altogether, of actually acting mature for her age rather than greedily giving in to what it felt like to enjoy a sense of affection, lied with her. Affection... Is that she could have called it? Even now, she wasn't certain what it was, where it would have went, and she sure as hell didn't bother to explore it after a while. They shared intimate moments reserved for couples, under the veil of friends with benefits. Initially, that was fine. And then...

Ehefera complicated it by actually displaying what she viewed as genuine care for a friend when she witnessed the woman at one of her lower points in life, an act that endeared her to the young woman beyond what she initially expected. Natasha detached as she always did. Experiencing genuine intimacy felt sinful to her... even now. Not with all the skeletons in her closet. She was moving past it well enough, but it still lingered even now. Neither here nor there, the woman offered a simple shrug as she turned around to face the woman fully.

"Cuttin' right to the chase, huh? Guess it's better to clear the air now before we stuff ourselves silly like a pair of turkeys. I reckon I wasn't much of a friend to you either, sweetheart. You nearly lost yer' life in Miami, and all I had to repay you with is a few lousy ole' hospital visits in the aftermath. I sure as hell ain't a spitting image of a saint in any of this myself. Could you call what I was a friend, either?" She ventured plainly. Part of her truly had wondered what they represented to the other beyond anything else.

Honesty was quite ideal concerning matters like these. There was no hint of deceit in Ehefera's words. She was genuinely expressing herself, and that made it easier for Natasha to acknowledge where her mind truly stood. And she was far from offended about these revelations, far from it. In actuality, it felt like a myriad of weights were slowly releasing from her shoulders. She was no fool to how it all began. It had simply blossomed into something that frightened her. Ehefera maintained that she was still the manipulative party, which was somewhat true to an extent, yes, but Natasha recognized that the fault hadn't entirely lied with her. Her silence might have been cause for worry, yet the smile lining her lips told a different tale entirely.

By all accounts, she could have rejected the woman still, holding steadfast until she avoided the idea altogether, but the fact of the matter was... Natasha had ended up enjoying her company, too. It felt nice to be acknowledged, to at least believe someone genuinely felt you were worth something even after you showed them the ugliest side of you. Beyond the trauma dumps, beyond these questionable moments where she felt like she was on the brink of losing her mind, Ehefera had proved a fine source of comfort even beyond the extracurricular activity.

Even now, to hear that she still acknowledged her as a friend was cathartic in a sense. She certainly had every reason to turn the tables if she so desired, manipulate the conversation to suit her own benefit. At any point, she could have washed her hands clean. Avoided her at the door. Or pretended things were strictly professional now, yet she did anything but express herself genuinely. Ehefera was placing most of the blame on her shoulders.

Regardless of who was in the wrong here, Natasha... didn't want to detach anymore. She wanted friendship. To savor what a bond felt like once more, her past be damned. Along with everyone else in the Vandenreich, or perhaps even more so, Natasha sincerely wanted Ehefera to remain in her life. She was mighty fine company once she moved past herself, minus the humorous - contradictory - ire for blonde women that never failed to make her chuckle. As Ehefera affixed her with that firm gaze after fully expressing her thoughts, Natasha lifted her cap up to reveal a cloudy pair of hazel eyes. There was some hint of tears there, perhaps, but she played it off well enough. To save face of course.

"First things first, the answer's yes, sweetheart. Course I'll have ya' as a friend. If it's quite alright with you, I'd like to express my thoughts, too. To clear the air for good, ya know?"