War & Peace [Alex, Nelliel]

Seemed like something always came up to bother Alex these days, but he'd at least gotten good enough at this whole married life thing not to try and keep it from Nel. After all, she was smart enough to pick up on it anyway, and he was pretty shit at keepng things to himself anyway. He didn't like talking about stuff during the day, though, so instead he just waited for night to fall, and laid down in bed with her before he spoke in a fairly direct, if tired tone of voice.

"Feel like I should go to Africa."

Sure, there were more specifics to it than that, more on his mind, but Alex preferred to at least open the conversation without just unloading everything onto his wife apropos of nothing.

As far as bedtime went, she tended to sit up a little bit and read quietly in the lamplight these days. There was a lot on her mind these past few months and her trip to China had yielded very little of use for her current investigations of the Ichigo situation but she tried to not let it impact her life too much. It was a painful thing to lose what was once home in Africa but it was also a little bit of a blessing that they had came here when they did, and that Alex had opted to live her with her friend.

"You know that I don't have an issue with that, just be sure to come back in one piece."

Nelliel said back but stopped reading, placing the book on the bedside table and turning to look at give her full attention in the process. There were any number of reasons to justify why he would want to rush over there and quell the situation, she felt them herself but she was also astute enough to know that the statement was not said with certainty or confidence. That there was more to come, whether he wanted to spill the rest or have her probe for it.

"I suppose you've been thinking about it a while now?"

She started, looking for the reason that brought this decision or rather the possibility. He didn't say he was after all so he was looking for permission, for someone to validate these feelings, someone to talk him out of it, or a mixture of all of them. She'd support it regardless but she hardly wanted him to rush into something like this without a clear head and her support.

"Yeah. Pretty much since it happened, but no way in hell was I just gonna rush over there when for all I knew it was about to happen all over the place."

That'd been the first place he ever actually wanted to settle down, after all. It meant a lot to him, even if things had taken him away from there, and it wasn't as if they'd left without any connections at all. After spending so much time wandering without any real attachments, he didn't like the idea of just letting something like this slide when it happened to the first place he'd thought of as home.

"Dunno if I'd be going for the right reasons, anyway. I wanna see if everyone's alright, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about turning whatever's behind this shit into paste. Doesn't exactly seem like the people keeping up that defense are up to it if things get worse. Not that I can blame 'em. That shit seems bad."

As he always did when attempting to have a serious conversation about his thoughts and feelings, Alex was sort of just saying things as they came to his mind.

"I dunno. I wanna help, but not if I'm just in it for the wrong reasons. And I sure as hell don't want something to happen to you guys while I'm gone."

"Well, I assure you that there are few things which could be a concern with Ninsianna and myself present. If Ichigo meant to come back I'm certain he would've by now, and otherwise this place has much stronger individuals now than it did before."

She laid those concerns to rest as best she could, after all what kind of protector would she be if she couldn't keep her own daughter or what she held dear safe? A pretty poor excuse of one, and while she couldn't pretend that she had the best track record with her dear family that feeling of loss and pain is what motivated her to not let these other things she cherished be taken from her either.

"Even the most virtuous are met with times where they are confronted by their vices, dear. I suppose you should ask yourself if doing it for that right reason justifies the feelings you think make it wrong?"

The memory of attacking Nnoitra and Szayael was fresh in her mind. A moment where she reacted without any kind of thoughts about right or wrong. Pure rage at seeing her fraccion she considered family in such a state. It was wrong for her to have done that like a berserk creature but even if she had not held those feelings then she felt confident she would've made the same choice for it was just.

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

She was right, after all, but it wasn't just that Ichigo faggot Alex was worried about. He knew things were always liable to suddenly go right to hell in a moment, and that sat in the back of his mind even more when it came to a major place like the City of Lights.

He had to think more seriously about her other point, though. Stuff like ethics and the like wasn't exactly his forte, and Alex's gaze wasn't really focused on anything in particular as he thought, idly messing with a few strands of hair as he did so. Would he have gone somewhere like this if it was somewhere he didn't care about? He didn't think so. But maybe that wasn't the right way to look at it. He'd have been mad about something like this even if it hadn't been so catastrophic, even if that little cafe was still guaranteed to be standing just fine. He'd still have gone to make sure things were alright even if violence wasn't on the table.

"I'd go even if I didn't think I'd probably have to throw down when I got there, and I'd probably fight whatever's there even if I didn't really want to. But I'm not sure I'd go if it was somewhere else."

"Good."

She said with a small smile on her face, what was good about that? He had just admitted that he wouldn't go if it was somewhere that didn't hold sentimental value to him so it didn't seem right for someone who preached a noble heart like she did but there was a difference between a blind idealist and a realistic one. No one could solve all the worlds woes, if he was the type of man to run around chasing every disaster then he'd only be met with heartbreak when he understood how many tragedies happened on a daily basis.

"It's important to fight for what is important to you. If you ran off all over the world solving it's issues but don't really care then what drives you? We should fight to protect things important to us but if you didn't care about what you were fighting for then you're just seeking an excuse to justify yourself."

Finishing her explanation, Nelliel stretched a little bit in her spot. The nightdress bunching in places so she went to fix it up.

"Sound good?"

She prompted while she sorted herself out to see what he thought of her advice.

Oh. Yeah, that made sense when he thought about it. Alex definitely wouldn't have really pieced together something like that on his own, but that kind of emotional understanding was just one more thing about Nel that he loved.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I get what you mean."

Taking her hand, Alex brought it up to give it a kiss, still thinking about going. He was probably gonna get asked to join the Vandenreich again if he went, but he was still sure as hell not gonna. After all, it was like she'd said. If he was doing it when it wasn't important, that was just him justifying a reason to get into fights. He didn't really wanna be that guy anymore.

"Guess I'll start packing tomorrow, then. Any chance I can get a few cookies for the trip?"

"I think I can get some sorted out tomorrow morning. Just remember to say goodbye to Alex, and share them."

She asserted with a wry grin, it was playful given that she doubted he would forget either of those two things. A small yawn now that the thought of getting up early was in her head and her priorities evaluated themselves like clockwork.

"Alright, sounds like a plan. Alex and I will take a girls' day while you're gone so just remember if you come back early then you'll have to be around all our boring womanly things."

Nelliel said sticking out her tongue and scrunching up her face a little bit. Contracting the streak along the bridge of her nose in the process in the lamplight. It would be no fun to stay all serious like that, so she teased him with the threat of girly things which would have him at a loss in his seat as to what to do if he was caught in the situation.