Shattered Reflections (Ari)

Damn that blasted woman, so long Fuurinji had gone on her merry way, performing her duties as a Shinigami without question. Only for it all to be called into question and make her rethink the last several decades of everything she'd been doing, and now? Now she was so conflicted that she couldn't even think straight. Her admiration blinded her, made her unable to see that which sat right in front of her this entire time. Where before she'd strike down hollows without a second thought, now there was hesitation. Where before she fought to bring peace, now she questioned her own motives. Where once before she'd call forth Muraki Kitakaze without a second thought... Now even that felt too difficult a pain to bear.

Was she a Hero or a Villain? Was she truly trying to protect something she cherished... if she never had that thing in the first place? Truth be told she knew why she acted how she did, and that same truth told her exactly when it began. Her mother's death because of Quincy, right as she entered the Shin'o Academy. She never had peace because all she did was lock that rage away and focus on it to make herself a stronger Shinigami. Yet despite all of that, she never grew strong enough to actually protect that which she cherished the most.

Now, standing atop the Seat of the Gods, she had to think about what it was she was even doing as a Shinigami. Was she too far gone? Was.. was she unredeemable? She claimed the Gotei gave the Quincy time to learn, but had she ever stopped to consider if she learned? First she pulled her left Zanpakuto from its sheath, the one that was home to Kamikaze, and stabbed it into the ground before pulling out her right Zanpakuto, the one that was home to Soyokaze, and stabbed it into the ground next to the other. Was she even worthy of these Zanpakuto? Or were they tools to be used by her? It honestly seemed like her entire world was just... gone. She hadn't even returned to the Rukongai since the Gotei United formed.

Fuu took a seat before both of her Zanpakuto's, crossing her legs as she 'stared' towards the ground. She hadn't heard either of them speak to her since that day, were they angry at her? She couldn't blame them if they were... she could barely even hear her own thoughts. If her own heart was in turmoil she could only scarcely imagine how they felt right now. That's when she stood back up, and slowly moved towards the edge of the peak. She had adamantly stated that her views wouldn't change, implying, at the very least, that if she were the dog in need of being put down then...

She just wasn't sure what to do. Normally she'd of turned to Komamura Taicho, but would he even want to see her? If he knew everything she'd believed and done... Would he even be capable of forgiving her? What if it was true though... What if she was the dog in need of being put down? Truth be told the Gotei United probably thought her dead, she'd never responded to their first message about the Gotei United forming in the first place. Maybe she should...

Being entirely alone with her thoughts was probably the worst possible thing for her truth be told. But truth be told she wasn't all that surprised when she felt the hand grasp her elbow, for her it caused a soft sigh of relief. She wasn't entirely surprised by the other woman having followed her, she had said she didn't want her being alone after all and it was part of the entire reason she'd drawn Mount Olympus in the first place. But just as she had done before she listened in silence and without any immediate response to the words spoken, and to say her tears were easily hid would be the biggest understatement of the century.

"I... don't know. Mother never taught hate, and... and Komamura Taicho he... his best friend walked this same path." Her voice was filled with the same turmoil that her heart was filled with, unable to process any of this. "Komamura Taicho fought so hard to bring him back... to get him to abandon his path... yet in the end it ended only in his death. He refused to see things any differently even when he regained his sight. And yet, I don't know if I could be redeemed." Her final words were almost whispered to herself "I can't even hear my Zanpakuto anymore. Despite all that we've been through, their voices are silent for me. Such a thing only happens when the connection between Shinigami and Zanpakuto has been damaged and broken."

She never turned away from the cliff edge, still 'staring' down to the clouds below and beyond. "It isn't that I question the duties of a Shinigami... However, what of the methodology? Truth be told I don't know if I could even fight even a typical hollow anymore. My entire life as a Shinigami, from the academy 'til now... has been tainted with hate. Hate for Quincy's, for stealing my Mother away from me when I wasn't even there to try and protect her from them. I don't even know if my Father or Sister are still alive, for all I know the Quincy's came back to finish the job or they were killed during the Demonic Incursion..."

She sighed softly "You said it best, truth be told... What if I am the dog in need of being put down? I told you with adamant fervor that my mind wouldn't change, which means if true then my only recourse is simple, as I've always said." Did she know what she was saying? Probably not... At least not the full extent of it. But everyone who had guided her was now gone as far as she knew, which meant she had no guidance in her life except that which she had always known since she first became a Shinigami. "My actions could very easily reignite the war between Shinigami and Quincy. Yet I know no other path. How can one fight for that which they have never known?"

There wasn't a single word from Fuu as Ari spoke and responded, a complete silence as she listened to the words said. Was she still able to stop before ending up like Tosen? Of that she wasn't entirely certain, though that wasn't really a surprise by this point. But if this woman was right, as she seemed to be so often now, then she was the reason she couldn't hear her Zanpakuto'. Not because they lost trust in her, but because she had blocked them out for fear of losing their trust.

She didn't try to stay, and soon found her feet moving either of their own accord or as a response to this woman. Whichever it was didn't matter, all that mattered was it was happening, and as shocking as it was she didn't stop the woman from wrapping her arms around both Fuu's waist and her arms. Firmly locking her ability to escape or throw herself from the cliff away from her entirely. Then came words of rebirth, of striving forth for something else... something she cherished and wanted to protect. The difference this time wasn't that Ari was trying to stop her from the path she had chosen, but rather to simply alter it just enough so it wouldn't inevitably lead to war and ruin... So it wouldn't inevitably lead to Fuu ensuring peace would never come.

But perhaps more importantly than this was what the woman said, or rather did, next. The first and most immediate thing that Fuu noticed was the sudden and very abrupt lack of wind, and shortly after she realized why that was and that caused Fuu to turn back towards her just a bit with both eyebrows slowly raising as she realized what was happening. The words spoken. By all rights they should be mortal enemies, Fuurinji SHOULD be dead. This woman was a demon! Yet of all people here she was, the one to talk Fuu not once from a path of death, but twice... and yet more than that she was here trying to prove Fuu wasn't beyond redemption.

It was difficult, if not outright impossible, to deny the effect this woman was having on her. But then what would she fight for? That which she thought she was fighting for was only something she fought for because of hate... The people she used to fight for no longer existed, at least not how she remembered them, and she had no home to speak of, let alone return too. But a memory? She had plenty of those to choose from. But it wasn't as simple as just telling her this and then letting her attempt to figure it all out on her own, she was given a starting point... "Redemption". She muttered softly, The fight with Tosen only ended the way it did because Tosen refused to turn from his path, and in that pursuit he turned to hollowfication. Those that had it thrust upon them hadn't let it consume them, but Tosen chose it and had let it consume him... to the point he'd even given up on his Zanpakuto, given up his Bankai.

Yes that was it, he'd closed himself off to his Zanpakuto and chosen the path of a hollow. He'd closed his heart to his closet friend and almost killed Hisagi. Ah... of course, Hisagi. It wasn't only Komamura that fought to bring him back, Hisagi had as well from what the battle reports had said. They'd tried everything they could to get him to change his path, and it wasn't until Komamura had heard the words that cemented Tosen's path that he committed to putting him down. The Tosen they fought wouldn't have come this far, he wouldn't have considered any of this.

Komamura wouldn't let her walk the same path, no matter what he'd do everything to ensure she didn't end up the same way. Of that she was certain. He'd of beat some sense into her long ago, and while faint it did make her smile ever-so-slightly. "And yet... There's nowhere for me to start... Not how I am now."

To think... A Demon was pulling a Shinigami away from the edge, metaphorically and quite literally. Held gently yet firmly, with a tenderness that only a Mother could hold. Then came a pat and soft words to accompany it, words that probably sounded even more preposterous than a Demon stopping a Shinigami from throwing themselves away. To come and live with a Demon... She could do a lot worse, there were a lot worse options out there for a roommate and if nothing else this Demon was at least making an attempt... an attempt at redemption.

Fuu's hands came up slowly to gently wrap around Ari's waist, leaning forward slightly. Despite the fact this woman had openly shared the fact she was practically the second hand at one point to the Demon that led the attack on Soul Society, here she was embracing her. "Living with a demon..." She muttered to herself softly, just the thought of doing such a thing she'd of found impossible naught but a few weeks ago. Then she felt something placed into her hand, an all too familiar object she'd worn and rarely took off. Her eyebrows lowered and narrowed as her head tilted down towards her hands.

"The shackles of hate..." She muttered softly, contemplating for a while whether she should put the Limiter back on her wrist. Part of her had forgotten she ever had it. After almost five minutes of silent contemplation, Fuu finally broke the silence "Y'know... I had this made to ensure the fluctuations in my Reiatsu were controlled... I was afraid its unpredictable nature would hurt someone that wasn't me. It worsened my ability to fight, but it made sure those around me were safe from me... or so I thought." She let out a soft sigh before pocketing the small device. "But it served to do naught than its intended purpose... To limit me. But just as you say, no more shackles."

Yes, that's what it was... a shackle and naught else. For to be anything else would mean she'd have to look further into her own heart and that was simply something she refused to do right now after everything that'd happened thus far. She'd never truly tried to gain control over it, simply letting it exist as it always had simply in fear of it.

Not only did the thought and sound of having somewhere to call home have a nice ring to it, it was only helped by the gentle touch along her face, to which she simply leaned into almost like a cat might when it's being pet. Plus having somewhere to train and someone to train with was probably something she'd need if she wanted to figure out how to grow past who she currently was. She wasn't too enthused about meeting with the Gotei United, but at the same time the Gotei was where she'd gotten her start... so maybe it'd be good to go back to her roots and start over again. Besides, it wasn't like Arianda was trying to make her rejoin them... only train with them, and that was something she could tolerate.

When she laid her head on Fuu's shoulder and began to speak, it took her a moment but Fuu's arms did raise to gently wrap one around her back as the other reached up to gently cup the back of her head in a similar warm embrace, like a daughter might their Mother. She let out a long yet soft sigh, a smile forming over her face as she rested her head on top of Arianda's. "You're right... If for no other reason than to experience peace, I would be a fool to decline the offer." While it was still relatively rapid, the beating of her heart had begun to quiet down and become far more gentle in its pacing.