Guideless Fire (Kimitsuki/Hiroi)

"That isn't what I meant," Hiroi said, walking over a root along her path before stopping under a large tree. She followed the root up the tree, letting her red eyes focus on a bird's nest up above. Narrowing her eyes, she brought her arm up, aiming a piece of bread in her hand, crushed between her fingers. With a bit of effort, she launched the bread up, hitting the nest and causing it to fall from the tree onto the ground between the two women. Looking down, she took note of the broken egg, its yolk spilling from the destroyed nest.

"Do you like being fire? Does it not bother you that you're a force used mainly for destruction?"

Eyes, youthful indignation behind them, stared at the redhead. Hiroi's lips fell as she frowned at Kimitsuki. Right now, her thoughts have gone back to her time as a Danava, feeling the rules she's meant to follow pulling her to and fro, that gnawing hunger that tortured her day in and out. Even after being freed of it, the pale woman still found her view of the world bleak. There are words in her mouth that want to come out, but she bit her lip and kept herself quiet for the answer that is to come, her cold eyes falling onto the destroyed nest, regret already plaguing them.

Bwah!

Kimitsuki being mad is one thing, but that look of disappointment pained Hiroi in a way she's hardly felt before. However, the young woman found her example plain and required. Regrettable? Yes, but she has lived her life with a blatant disregard for life in general. In her eyes, if the eggs were meant to survive, they wouldn't have cracked. Where are the parents? If she were her old self, Hiroi would have found the eggs a snack because that's simply nature. It is hard to combat the status quo. That is why Kimitsuki felt idealistic, but the redhead is a living example of fighting against what she is meant to do.

However, maybe Hiroi is the one looking at things wrong. Kimitsuki can spout her nonsense about being life, but, in the end, there's nothing beautiful about any of this. Even as the fire raged, even as Kimitsuki showed the woman compassion she's never felt before, the pale ex-Danava found her heart burdened with the heavy realization of her existence. She is no longer a Danava, but she can still feel that pull, that hungering sensation to devour. It angered her. Kimitsuki's kiss angered her, and that anger made her take the redhead's hand and shove them away.

"So? What I'm supposed to do is just focus on the good, huh? Just ignore the pain I feel everyday, gnawing at my stomach?"

Her expression darkened again, her lips tingling. Her red eyes glared at Kimitsuki, her body tensing as she shook with buried emotions that she had kept for a while now. Everything's coming to the surface, everything she felt while her consciousness was subdued to keep from going insane with her lust to eat.

"That Danava saved my life by consuming me. That Danava made me feel unimaginable pain. It was my only family, but it also tormented me everyday I was awake. Every night was nothing but nightmares. You can say that eating gives you power, that consuming knowledge leads to wonderful things, but what about when it's too much?! What about when the desire to consume everything outweighs everything else?! Huh?! Even fire. All it wants to do is eat and eat until there's nothing else. I could feel it. Everyday, by your side, I felt those flames want to devour the world, whether it was to protect or destroy, to heal or kill."

Fuck. Hiroi bit her lip hard to keep it from trembling, a spick of blood dropping from her chin. Her anger, coming out in spouts, dwindled as she found it tiring to keep up with it, and with a sigh, she crumbled into herself, grabbing her clothing with her hands and clenching hard as her eyes focused on the ground.

"I don't even deserve to live. How can I do what I want when I have no idea what it is I want?"

It's hot, but that's expected. Hiroi isn't bothered by it. She's focused on Kimitsuki, listening to the redhead's words. She had nothing to say on the subject, all her worries already voiced and responded to. Right now, the only thing left to do is continue with her life. Whatever's meant for her will come, like Kimitsuki said. She may have to find it, but she won't be alone in doing so at least. The idea of molding herself into something different than what she knows is scary.

"I don't think I can do this without you," Hiroi mumbled, leaning into Kimitsuki. Hiroi has never been too physical with Kimitsuki, so the deep hug that she returned may come as a surprise.

"I know I said we should take things slow, but I guess I haven't completely gotten over my hunger." Whatever that means.

"Eh... Nevermind."

It may be best to not push that particular topic, so Hiroi left that where it should remain for now. There are better times to talk about something of the sort. Besides, it's not like she really gets what she wants either, at the moment. For now, they should regain the simplicity of their walk and continue on.

"Let's go. The food's going to get cold, and this forest is hot."

Hehe. Awkward as it may be, Hiroi tried her best to get out of Kimitsuki's grip, still keeping the other's hand though. This sort of feeling, or hunger, should be worked out a bit more before followed up on. If anything, Hiroi would like to avoid having too much of a dependency on Kimitsuki like before.