So What'cha Want [Rukia, Kaminari]

The first thing that crossed Rukia's mind was the thought that she wished she'd made more tea. Not exactly the most pressing issue, but it felt like it probably would have been nice about now. At least it'd give her more reason to not respond than just "not talking." But oh well.

"I'm not really the kind of person that likes to be dodgy about important conversations, so I'll be honest with you. You're not really making a very good case for me to accept your application."

On one hand, that was entirely true. Rukia couldn't say she saw much reason to accept someone who so openly lacked immediate direction and didn't even really have a specific reason to be applying for the position. But maybe putting her right on the spot would get some sort of unexpected result that changed her mind on this.

Kaminari wasn’t surprised. Since the focus of the questions were either about her reason for joining or her thoughts about the future, they were going to stack points against her. Hearing Captain Kuchiki say that was humiliating though. Once again, her insecurities were getting to her. She came in here with a whole lot of rehearsed nonsense that she threw out the window immediately, and fell into old self-depreciating habits. It was hard not to do that with so much of her locked away.

Kaminari let those thoughts bounce around her head for a few moments, silence thickening the tension. She took a deep breath and her shoulders relaxed.

"As a combatant, I have the skills required of the position, but I'm sure you already know that part..." Kaminari said, chuckling and then clearing her throat. "I'm approachable, honest, and reliable, in relation to the job. I am someone my Division mates can come to with problems with the expectation I will do what I can to help solve them. I'm a decent training partner, patient, but it takes me time to know how to actually teach someone. I follow orders and respect authority, even if sometimes I question it. I make decisions quickly, and I rarely fail. I hate failing."

Kaminari looked away from the Captain as her eyes narrowed, becoming unfocused on a random corner in the room. "But beyond all that... I should have been here a long time ago. I have to become Lieutenant. It feels wrong not to... I promise, Captain, you can trust me to do the job. I'm not as wishy washy as I sound. I just don't want to come off as someone who believes they're perfect and will never make a mistake. I see that as foolish. I want to learn, and if given the chance, I will."

In a way, it made Rukia outright unhappy to hear all that told to her. Not because any of it was especially bad, but rather because she could tell it was all very genuine. This was someone who clearly wanted the position. But it didn't change what Rukia was looking for.

"Those are all good qualifications, I'm not denying that. But you aren't the only person in my division who can do that. What I'm looking for in a vice captain is experience. Someone who I won't have to teach, because we aren't in a situation right now where I can afford to teach you as much as I'd like."

The weight of the Gotei's current aims certainly sat heavier on Rukia's shoulders than it likely did on anyone else's. Everyone knew that there was a dangerous arrancar, sure, and everyone knew who it was. But for Rukia, that was her friend. And dealing with that was something she wouldn't be able to give anything less than her undivided attention.

"In an ideal situation, I'd probably accept your application. But right now, with the reality of what we're dealing with, I can't take the time to teach you what you want to learn."

A compliment was nice, but everything else was wrong. Kaminari was up to date, at least she thought she was, on what had been going on with the Gotei. She was aware of the Ichigo situation, and she, like so many in the Gotei, were aware of the friendship between Captain Kuchiki and the Arrancar. However, this was wrong. Multiple times, Kaminari opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated and said nothing. Doing that only made Kaminari angrier at herself. Maybe speaking up here would help the next person who came along, even if it destroyed her own chances...

Kaminari gave in, letting her disappointment show. She had to word this right. Even if she'd never become Vice Captain of the Second, she didn't want disciplinary action against her. When finally opened her mouth, it was the best she could do...

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I want the position, badly, but if you're wanting someone who already has Vice-Captain experience... I don't think I'm your woman." Kaminari said, a light emphasis on 'think' when she said it. "With all due respect, Captain Kuchiki, I hope personal reasons aren't getting in the way of your duties as captain. I respect that it is your choice, but if you're too picky for too long, you will have no one there when he... does finally make his move."

"I doubt it, but if you change your mind, I'm still interested," Kaminari said, keeping the politest tone, and then bowing before turning away and walking out of the Captain's office. "Please excuse me, and good luck in your search."