Pensive Soul [Saiko/Elyss]

Reporting to her superiors often drained the likes of Saiko, as there were many things to report on in the human world. Ensuring the balance of souls was kept in order was a tall task, and for someone with her power, she definitely needed to handle more dangerous circumstances than the average division soldier.

Still, the woman wanted to be of use to the Gotei to keep working on herself, becoming an asset and trying to retip the scales of karma for the ill-actions of her former life with Shadow Fall; even if she was forced into that position and perhaps forgiven on some level by Murasaki.

So for that reason is why Saiko wasn't wasting her morning. Near the office of Captain Elyss, the energies of the hybrid shinigami were bleeding out as mists of shade, plum, and aqua energies danced around her power. Despite the thick amount of anxiety, dread and glumness felt with these mixtures of power, the root of it felt at ease, focused, and in a place of positivity.

It mattered not if her powers fed on these negative elements; it was up to Saiko to train every day to ensure she was guiding her powers and not her powers guiding her. That was the downfall of not only demons but people who gained immense strength in general.

She wanted to use these strengths and turn the curse of her demonic blood into something of hope and positivity and to help others. That is all the girl ever wanted. And to achieve that goal, sacrifice, pain, patience, and mental training were needed. So, with this knowledge being embedded in her soul, the woman's eyes opened, and the darkness around her faded as the division became drenched in a faint, white light.

However, such a feat of power wouldn't be ignored. She felt the presence of something approaching and slowly rose to her feet before calling out:

"Is anyone there?"

"...huh?"

That was the only thing Saiko could say when the likes of Elyss arrived on the scene, and a look of disbelief came over her face. She was taken aback by the comments made as she turned to face the crimson gaze of her captain. It was thick and rich in the sense of pollution it produced as it seemed to overwhelm the stench of despair, glum, and dread that the hybrid extracted from the squad and herself. So, Saiko was uncertain of how to approach before just throwing caution to the wind and engaging with her instinct.

"Well, captain, this mongrel is training to be better. Don't want this nasty stuff in me to turn me into a doormat."

With an aura of white energy around herself, the layover effects of her meditation still were in effect, and at least she wasn't shaking in her boots or anything. However, even in this state, Saiko felt the aura of intimation around Elyss. If she hadn't just cleared her mind, the woman wasn't sure how she would have reacted to all this. So, she was grateful her nerves were calmed at the moment.

"And what does someone like yourself want with a mongrel like me, huh? Did I disturb you?"

There was a bit of a playful voice from the mistress of glum as she held her ground. But, for now, she'd observe Elyss and see what her answer would be before deciding how to take this whole encounter.

"Try it."

That response was snappy. Even if she was sweating, the woman had her sense of confidence come up as a smirk came across Saiko's lips regarding the comment of being good enough to step on. For the moment, the hybrid didn't have much of a good read on the redhead. Was she a friend or foe? That was what her mind was trying to discern to figure out how to navigate this exchange.

Given the venomous aura around Elyss from the perception of the half-blood, some part of her assumed it was the demonic blood. And upon hearing the concepts of temperance and negativity uttered from the Captain's mouth, Saiko nodded her head as if affirming something to herself.

"You can smell it on me. It's the demon blood. I abstain because I'd be worthless to Murasaki if I can't control my mind, body, and powers."

There was a pause for a moment, then Saiko moved in closer to Elyss as if to hold her own ground.

"But, above even her investment, my own heart desires to adjust the karmic scales for my own cowardice. You are a Captain; you know my story. I let them make me do this; I took those actions even if forced to do so."

Breathing in, breathing out, Saiko steadied her own emotions and nerves even in that second as brief instances of that life flashed. However, she wasn't going to indulge in them. Instead, she continued speaking:

"So it sounds stupid, maybe I am naive, yet I just want to be...good. I abstain because I want to be a hero or a soul who can help people. I can't change what my body is, but I can control it. Do you understand?"

Fortunate? Unfortunate? None of that mattered. All Saiko could do was move in this life as best as she could to atone for the wrong she was forced to commit. To waste this life, this power, and the chance to add positive karma to the world shouldn't be wasted if given a second chance to live this life in a better fashion than before.

"If you sincerely believe pitying myself at this point is better for the world than trying to use this second chance Murasaki gave me to better the society around me, the only one naive here is YOU."

A more resolved tone echoed in the hybrid's mouth as a deep coldness exhaled from her breath. Is she fit to be a hero? Perhaps that's a bit of an overstep, and she is willing to admit that. But to spit in the face of the others who see that potential in her and the debt she owes to this world? That's even worse. So, she held her ground and only drew closer to Elyss as she stared into the taller woman.

"You have one thing correct. I am no hero. Maybe it is too much of a stretch to call me that, and I will resign that. However, if I am to live, I will be useful to the people I've sinned against. And when my resourcefulness is done, the devil can do what he wants with my soul; or perhaps god himself may judge me fit to be redeemed."

Energy flared up; what soon followed those words was the creation of a dense mist of aqua and plum energy that danced around them. But, despite the essence of glum and dread radiating from this power, the will of Saiko kept it all balanced. A cluster of demonic and shinigami energy is what she was, and whether it was a curse or blessing was irrelevant anymore to her. So, she'd make this next point clear:

"So I am scum. But I don't need YOU to reinforce something I live with daily. Do you think I'm oblivious to something so obvious?"

Sucking her teeth, she'd continue.

"No. There won't be ANY shortage of obstacles in the way toward the future I desire, and perhaps there isn't a way to ever make the things I was forced to do better. But, I won't let you be the thing to make me stop. So don't mistake me for a pushover, if you want to be an obstacle, so be it. But regardless, I'd be worse than scum if I couldn't resolve myself to keep ahead even when things get tough like this."

"Is all you can do is mock? That's not going to change my mind. You keep spitting venom and saying I'm scum for it, but that isn't practical advice or guidance."

Shaking her head at this point, Saiko let out a tired sigh and decided to lower her energy. She was still on guard, but there was no need to feel so malicious as she hadn't felt sincere intent to attack from the other woman. It was hard to get a read on her. Despite that, it seemed like she was more interested in belittling the hybrid than anything else.

"I'm not a hero; that was an overstep, as I said. But most lives are one terrible action, event, or day from being screwed beyond hell to begin with. It's scary to exist in this world where the winds of fate can drastically change who you are, your perception of life, and your circumstances."

Now, still and quiet, the woman paused to gather her thoughts and proceeded forward when the words hit her.

"And perhaps everyone falls in the end with death no matter how great their ascension is in this life. Your death date and birth date are set in stone. What matters is what you do with the time in between. I feel you have to do the things so you can be able to look at yourself in the mirror. Is that so terrible to you, even if it's stupid in your eyes?"

There was a tiredness in her eyes before she tried to see if there was anything other than malice in this creature.

"And what excitement do you even get from wishing the worse for others? Entertainment? Smugness in being right? Is malicious the only thing you are capable of?"