In the Wake of the Beast [Ulquiorra, Nelliel]

The surprise was something to be expected, though it would have been more convenient if Nel had simply asserted that she already knew why Ulquiorra was here. It would have precluded the need for Ulquiorra to find some means of expressing that desire of hers. Unfortunate. Still, se took a moment, as if hoping for some excuse to stall, or that Nelliel might simply surmise on her own why she was here.

"I imagine that you probably are not privy to my state before my demise at the end of the war." She murmured, Nel after all had been left below the dome. "Inoue Orihime was my own personal prisoner during the Incursion. I was tasked not only to keeping her captive. But breaking her spirit so that she would not resist or try to escape." She murmured plainly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. However.... Hm. Now that she thought about it....

"At the time, that was the extent of it. However... thinking back. I spoke to her more than was necessary for the task. I was .... curious. Human emotions have never been foreign to me. Friendship. Connections. The sort of nonsense that made them easier to hurt and to kill. But Inoue was resilient and open. She spoke plainly and freely about her and her friends. About the connection they held with one another, even as that very connection drove her friends into death's embrace." She stared straight ahead as they walked, deep in thought as she ...recalled.

"However.... by the end of the war. I felt something. with the same eyes that wept for Kurosaki and her other friends. She wept for my own defeat." She murmured, no hesitation, no shame. But her voice was.... softer than usual. Barely.

Those sharp green eyes shifted in Nelliel's direction. "I cannot abide how little I understand this feeling. 'The Heart'. But among any of the remaining Arrancar, you seem to have most embraced that aspect. You have found yourself a human Mate. But this was not always the case. Once upon a time, you were a part of the same desperate Menos cycle as the others." She did not include herself in that metric. "So, I am curious as to your own experience in the subject." She asserted, with no lack of her usual pure, unadulterated pragmatism. It would be potentially INCREDIBLY obvious as to why Ulquiorra was having such trouble with the subject with how she was approaching it.

Nonsense. But then again, all of this seemed steeped in such a thing. Ulquiorra furrowed her brows as she took it in and struggled to parse it. It was the kind of talk that she would have dismissed as drivel in the past. And yet, this very drivel was what got Nel to where she was today. Happy. Partnered up. And with a family around her, practically bleeding the sort of emotions that Inoue had so long ago. It was perhaps all the more annoying to see just how possible it was for a member of her kind. And yet it eluded her all the same. IT wasn't something she could so easily pick apart. It was a matter of feelings and nuance.

"And what of yourself? I understand it is a personal subject. But ...I don't have much else to go on." she admitted. Asking someone about their feelings. But here she was. "Your partner, what was it that led you to where you are now? If I understand it correctly, you love him. How did it happen?"

Ulquiorra was, if nothing else, glad that at least Nel found it just as difficult to put into words as she. Though it was annoying to think that wouldn't change even after she actually figured all of this out. However, Ulquiorra did take a moment to.... consider Nel's response.

"I can't imagine that it was like that for yourself. You speak in general and broad terms. However, I was curious as to your own personal experience. Or do you mean to tell me that you resist the urge to dominate your partner?" She ventured. Even as an Exp Espada, Ulquiorra knew very well what Nel was CAPABLE of. However, she had been such a big speaker against such actions that she had surmised that the instinct perhaps had left her in entirety.

Similar to herself. But then, she did wonder, did this act of connecting with others dig up those old instincts and emotions? Would she too be tempted to dominate another through her own explorations? That certainly sounded like an avenue of concern, and so those eyes remained locked onto Nel's. "Perhaps I was too broad in my own questions. Perhaps I should ask... what was it that led you to choose your partner? And perhaps more importantly: Do you feel that gaining a partner was a necessary step towards understanding such emotions?" After all. Inoue Orihime had been a virgin so far as she was aware at the time. While she had held Kurosaki in high regard, they did not seem to be romantically involved. During her goodbye, she had not even mustered up the will to kiss him.

However... the desire had still been there. Simply because Inoue had not acted on these impulses, did not mean that perhaps, her heart had not already chosen Kurosaki as her mate, well before any such endeavor came to fruition. So perhaps attaining a partner was not important, but simply finding a candidate just as powerful? Hmmm.

Ulquiorra fell silent as Nel gave her explanation. Perhaps she had pried too far into that particular subject. However, it was just as messy as she had imagined. Though it was the example Nel had given, it seemed that these broad terms didn't apply to herself. Perhaps she had never struggled with such things at all, and that was.... well. Admittedly her own hollow instincts were just as bizarre perhaps. She had no life or memory of a time before she was what she was, her time as a hollow had been long, but uneventful. Lacking the act of cannibalism that monumented the lives of so many.

All the same, that was quite the protest. She made note of it, before the subject shifted towards Nel's specific experience. That, frankly, was a relief. She did not quite adore the idea of having to go through and find a counterpart to herself. That was something she could be thankful for. All the same, that DID eliminate one of the few avenues she could even consider for her exploration to begin with. Should she simply....... open up? Allow the connections to form on their own?

She didn't like it. She preferred to be proactive, aggressive in these pursuits. If it were at all possible, she would love nothing more than to find some way to make these feelings tangible and peel them apart to see how they worked.
"This all sounds so ... happenstance." She was reminded of her own bond with Inoue. Was that to be what she could expect in her future? Surprise sensations scattered amongst those she spent her time with? Nel herself seemed to imply that her own partnering was not something she had initially intended.

However, the subject of Fraccion did cause her to ....pause. Yes.... a number of the Espada had seemed rather attached to their underlings. Especially both Terceras. But in some capacity, even Barragan and Grimmjow seemed to have some possessive nature in regard to their fraccion. However loose. It was barely anything, but it was a potential lead. Should she garner some manner of underlings or allies? Hm. That said.... she had a resource standing right beside her. Of sorts, at least.

"Do you have any suggestions?"

Ulquiorra stared down the road ahead of them, her expression faltering ever so slightly, discomfort on her face as she was faced with a rather unpleasant reality. That there really WAS no logical way about this. At least not from Nel. But perhaps she was not as ...reliable a source as she had surmised? No, this had indeed been fruitful. At the very least, she now understood that there was something more ...innate in the manner with which Nel had acclimated to these things. Perhaps an expert opinion was not something she should seek out specifically.

After all, a genius could hardly explain why they knew what they knew. Perhaps what she needed was someone who had undergone their own journey of emotional discovery. Hm. She HAD seen some flyers around the south section of the city. Something about finding love. It had quite obviously been an advertisement for some salacious facility. However, it DID seem that affections and emotional connection were something that even humans struggled with. If she looked carefully, perhaps these services might benefit her as well.

"I see. I do appreciate you speaking with me on this subject. As well as your cooperation in dealing with Kurosaki." She noted as she came to a stop and turned to face the ex-tercera. "When I pick up their trail, I will be sure to inform you before I depart. "