Autumn Mists [Saiko/Murasaki]

Making progress in being an asset to the Gotei and this society as a whole was something that made the heart of Saiko swell up with happiness. It meant that she felt her actions, consciousness and overall trajectory in life were on the right track. So, why let loose on the peddle here? After this meeting, she would make sure to keep that same spark in the future.

"That makes me so happy to hear. I think that's what I wanted even when I was enslaved by Shadow Fall."

With a nod, she continued.

"I won't let up on that momentum. I want to keep being an asset as my own conscious wants to set the karmic scales as best as I can before I die. I don't think I can ever make up for that, but I won't waste this second chance or investment you put in me with self-pity."

Resolved in herself, Saiko smiled back before a thought crossed her mind. Could all souls achieve the same? Thinking of the grave circumstance a friend with a similar situation was in, the likes of Hime couldn't help but ring around Saiko's brain. She wasn't sure how Murasaki would react, as she didn't want to step on the woman's toes. Yet, at the same time, if she kept cowering away from every potential chance of rejection, uncomfortableness, or conflict, she'd soon find herself in a similar place as she was in Shadow Fall.

Hence, after having thought it through, Saiko took a long sip of her tea before working up the courage to bring up this sensitive topic.

"And you can dismiss me away if you want, as I won't fight your judgment, but I'd feel like a coward if I didn't bring up the subject of Hime."

Uncertain of how the commander would respond, there was still some worry of fear, but Saiko continued to battle those nerves and resolved herself.

"Is it possible to come back from the abyss? I don't believe I'm brought up to speed fully on what happened with her, but if she were to swear her life to the same extent, could she not have a trial or probationary period under immense supervision to prove herself again?"

Was this a wrong decision? Hard to tell, but those words couldn't be taken back. She had to live with them and face the unknown head first, even if it terrified Saiko at the moment. Thoughts of her freedom being put into question, rejection as a person from Murasaki, or learning some unpleasant truth about Hime were all unfavorable outcomes. Still, she had to accept whatever would come.

"I understand your judgment. Inaction breeds weakness, and maybe it's my naivety speaking, but I thought perhaps if I pushed her hard enough, she could be an asset one day."

Murasaki was certainly glad to hear the confidence in Saiko's voice, her assuredness in the path she'd chosen to walk. It was that exact confidence that she'd hoped would blossom like this when she'd asked Saiko to come back, and it was that drive to ensure she was doing something that she considered so respectable.

Of course, the topic of Hime was one she wasn't entirely surprised to hear. She'd gotten the reports about Hime's visitors, after all. With a sigh, Murasaki looked at her tea for a moment, then back to Saiko. In truth, she still hadn't fully come to a conclusion on how she ought to handle Hime's crimes in the previous world. They'd seemingly never even existed here, at least not to the degree they had then. But this wasn't just about that.

"I think it's possible, if you want to. But wanting to isn't the same as being willing to, ya know? When you came back, you got right to it, and even now you're always doin' what you can. Hime was released from prison, and then...nothin'. I'm sure if you push her, she could be an asset. But I'm not just lookin' for assets. I'm lookin' for people who wanna be better for its own sake, not just because they wanna not be in prison."

Was that a harsh judgement? Maybe a little bit, sure. But Murasaki was, ultimately, a decisive woman, even if much of her girlish demeanor tended to soften that fact. She didn't think a woman who had to be pushed to improve was doing to do it for good reasons.

Saiko nodded her head at the words Murasaki spoke. While a part of herself was glad she wasn't scolded, a deeper part of the hybrids mind felt sadness for Hime's situation. What were her intentions regarding wanting to do better in this life? Could it have just been because she wanted to get out of prison? Sure, that's one hell of a motive, but Saiko felt she could tell when someone was saying falsehoods to her. And that woman's words, tone, and look were anything but a lie.

After taking another sip of her tea, Saiko figured it was best to keep engaged and speak truthfully to not have any weirdness in the air after that admittance of her mind's worries.

"Perhaps I needed to hear that and change or remove needing or wanting to become an asset from my head. But, unfortunately, it can be easy to do or say anything to escape prison."

With a brief pause, the woman continued.

"Though, I feel intentions of the soul can still speak certainty when observed by people who understand deceit and truth. Perhaps I'll continue to visit still and help her, but I think she wants to do better for herself and just not be given up on it. As a friend, I can't ignore that if the person is willing to better themselves and not give up."

Staring into space for a moment, Saiko let out an exhale of breath before finding more words to utter to her Captain.

"What do you think? Do you think I should give up on Hime? Of course, I want to help her as a friend, but I don't want to overstep the boundaries of the Gotei. I want to save her from herself, but I don't want that hope to delude me either."