Look Through You [Katori, Urahara]

"Captain?"

The gentle, two fingered knock of Katori would sound to bring the attentions of what lied behind the closed door to her, standing politely at the door of a man she would not know what to expect from. Kisuke Urahara, to call him a man of note wouldn't begin to scrape it, so to hear he had properly returned to the Gotei as a Captain was certainly a point of intrigue to anyone who paid mind to history. Though, she didn't think she would have found herself asking for his assistance, but she had determined he would have been the best and easiest to approach for this kind of subject.

It was a short notice request to speak with him, having arrived at the timeframe she claimed to in the correspondence, praying he wasn't unforgiving to such interruption.

"Katori Nobuko, I had sent notice I was to speak with you in regards to my Zanpakuto?"

She was mildly alarmed by the kind of voice that was on the other side; she was expecting a much more serious sounding tone, but instead it sounded more like one of her younger colleagues calling her in. This wasn't a diss towards him or some kind of disappointment, but she definitely was caught a bit off guard; it wasn't even an odd or maliciously joyful voice...

Katori would gingerly open the door, sliding into the surprisingly barren-looking room, shutting the door behind her. Her gaze would draw to the lone empty seat in front of his desk, looking his way as he asked what the matter was in regards to her Zanpakuto.

"Ah, you see..." She'd begin, making her way to and sitting politely in the vacant seat, "..I am having trouble bonding with it properly, and I felt that it would impede my future prospects if it remained an issue too long."

She'd lay the sheathed blade on her lap, staring down at it, "My issue isn't that it won't speak to me, the opposite actually - it's extremely intrusive. Always goading, trying to have an opinion, overall being... Incredibly unpleasant and difficult to work with. Even my Shikai doesn't feel to be at it's best ability."

A sigh would escape her pale lips, "..I'm not sure what to do about it."

She gently gripped the blade on her lap just a bit tighter when the man's words forced her to consider whatever road Yokudansui was intent on steering her along, thinking intently for a moment before softly shaking her head, "That's the thing, I don't.. I don't understand what they want, at least not completely.."

That familiar trickling crawl of thorny vines on her neck could be felt as she spoke, as if her spirit was making themselves known at some subconscious level, listening and ever so anxious for the answer, that feeling of eyes burning into her back haunting her as she'd go on,

"I had high marks in the academy, I rose to 13th seat in my division, I assist everywhere I can, I try to develop my medical knowledge as much as possible, but it never seems to be enough for them. They just... Ugh, they're always asking some other thing out of me, to see something else, and it's always something so ridiculous and disgraceful!"

Her hands were practically trembling from how hard she was clutching her blade, irritation practically choking the blade, "They want so terribly for me to act like just... Some, improper thing, letting my emotions and thoughts be known so carelessly. I can't just be acting like some wild thing, not here! Not... Now. That... That can't be me. That shouldn't be me, i'm of a noble house, I can't be acting out of sorts."

Katori had an air of impatience and restlessness to her otherwise collected appearance. She normally carried even the most taxing duties with grace and intelligence, never letting her emotions overwhelm her need to care for her patient's or colleagues' needs. She had to be the example, the one people looked towards, the one that couldn't manage to slip or fall lest the pressures and responsibilities she has taken as a seated officer crush her like an ill-placed stack of books. She had to be liked, she had to be respected, so whatever dubious behavior her Zanpakuto was proposing for her just sounded like sabotage for everything she had painted herself to be.

Though, she shuffled her feet as that lie was repeated back to her, butterflies in her stomach as that feeling of fraudulence ran over her once again. For her to say it was one thing, to hear it from another who wholly believed it was it's own wear on the spirit.

That certainly makes us two, then, she'd idly think herself, parting her lips to speak,

"I understand this is a time-consuming, delicate endeavor..." Her voice seized briefly, taking a deep breath, "..But I want to figure some solution to this. I can't afford to sit on my hands, making a fool of myself playing a guessing game with a difficult sword that may want my downfall."

She felt a lump in her throat with that question, of why this process could be so difficult. The pride in her wanted to keep the illusion that it was just the sword being a difficult wad of metal, but she knew at her core that wasn't the case. It was a truth she couldn't stomach, a truth she loathed, a truth she wished would just die and stop mattering now. But...

"..Speaking purely in theoretics," She'd begin, composing herself and looking Urahara in the eyes, trying to maintain that look of relaxed nobility any would expect of her, "Would lying to one's self make the process difficult?"

She really did not like the direction this conversation was heading in, but, it was what it took; even though she knew, at heart, what the issue truly was.