The Living Don't Remember [Yuel/Saisei]

A snap, crackle, POP into existence. Where was she now? Yuel took a look at her wrist gadget--thankfully it came along with her this time around. This place was... uh, Italy? Sicily? Interesting. It's been a long time since she was here, but for quite a long time Italy was under Shadow Fall. Actually, far as she recalled, the Sicilian Mafia used to be a thing here, before Shadow Fall came along. They were pretty notorious and wealthy back then, before it all came crashing down. What was the reigning presence here now? It would've been... a corporation. The Duvalier Family? No, the Duvalier Group! Oh, she recognised the name, they were active during the war. In somewhat distasteful ways, actually.

Anyways, rambling thoughts aside, Yuel had to take a moment to remember. What was it that she was doing just moments before appearing here?

OH! The Toba! Before here, she was in North Sumatra studying the volcano. From her studies, she figured that an eruption might've been due prematurely, prompted by the conflict a few years ago.

Okay, so she probably had to get back. Or at least, get to some sort of terminal to contact somebody, research it, whatever. How? Who could she go to in Italy, which was generally out of the reach of her usual contacts and friends?

Of course, the locals! Yuel's Italian was a little rusty, but it was enough to communicate accurately. She walked on over to a nearby square, the kind that had a fountain in the middle and checkered panels of concrete on the ground.

Right on over to a man who... who....

"A... Azure?"

"I-, I..."

Yuel was... speechless.

Confused. Unaware of what she was looking at. Unaware of what, precisely, she was feeling.

Yearning?

Nothing... She stood still, feeling timeless, and every moment felt eternal. It was an unfamiliar sensation. All she could do was pull her hand up and reach out to him, then pull it back.

Was it fear? Azure was dead. Most certainly. Yuel knew of the soul cycle, of reincarnation, but Azure was an Iramasha. An Iramasha, typically, would simply reincarnate again into an Iramasha. This man was, to the best that Yuel could discern, human, thoroughly.

But he was also definitely Azure.

Yuel could never feel Azure's soul. By the time she ever had the capacity to sense spirits, Azure had already passed. This was just a feeling. But, the feeling was so absolutely certain.

She couldn't talk. Rare, for her. Yuel's voice simply couldn't escape her, not that she had anything to say.

His voice was different. His words were... distant.

But that was definitely him. His mannerisms. The kindness in his voice. His reaching out to greet her, his... this really was him, wasn't it?

Yuel approached him, raised her hand to hold his, and.... no. Yuel didn't reciprocate. She walked forward, past his arm, and hugged him by the waist. Hard. She squeezed with all her might, burying her face into his chest. It was forward of her, maybe it made him uncomfortable, and it wouldn't at all be wrong or surprising if he pushed her away. But, Yuel couldn't help herself.

"I-...I'm sorry. I wasn't there, and I... I just wish I was there."



Her sobs weren't very loud, but the tears ran without reserve. It likely stained his shirt relentlessly.

It took her some time, hopefully time that he would give her. It was most certainly a crossing of boundaries, to act this way towards a stranger. For him, at least, since this man was no stranger to her. Not yet. Not until she could finally face the truth, until she could properly let go.

Azure died years ago, but because she was never there--maybe, in her heart somewhere, she never really processed it. Yuel never really let go, and Azure, in her subconscious, lived on in some memory.

Now that Saisei was in front of her, she knew. Azure was really gone. This was him, most certainly, and in so many ways, but the fact remained: Saisei must be his own person. Nothing could be a more sure, definitive end to Azure's life, than to simply have become another person.

In time, Yuel's tears ran dry. She pushed herself away from the man and straightened herself up. Finally, she faced him, properly looking him straight in the eyes, though her own were still a bit foggy.

"Sorry... for, well, all of that. If, uh, if you're fine with it, can we restart? Hi. I'm Yuel Duulheim.

It's nice to meet you, Saisei Sato."

As dead do not speak
Zealous are those who remain
Unknown to those who still live
Renewed and onward
Ebbed in memory now lost

It tinged with pain to receive these kind pleasantries. The coddling comfort and attention that Azure would give in her moments of vulnerability. To know that, despite this man in some fashion having been him, was not. Yet, perhaps it was also something to be optimistic about?

Yuel recalled on her conversation with Chifuyu, in front of Azure's grave. His body still lied there, so it was funny to think about Azure occupying two places on the Earth simultaneously. Not unlike Yuel herself, huh? Anyways, in that conversation, Yuel made sure to convey how Azure being dead, did not mean he was in all manners gone. It was their actions, done in his honour, which meant that he was still here. Saisei being here, in a way, meant Azure was still here. Gone, most certainly, but not all of him.

Still, Yuel rationalised that Saisei was still his own person. Probably. The nature of the spirit, even for Yuel, still held deep mysteries. It wouldn't do to simply treat him as Azure. Which was funny, cause Yuel was in a similar boat. Azure passed away before she had the opportunity to explore this, so he wouldn't know, but Yuel went through a bit of reincarnation herself. Not too long ago--maybe in the future, maybe in the past, the memories were uncertain--Yuel reunited with her family from a past life she did not truly know.

Was she the same person as the Yuel of that life? Maybe Saisei felt the same. They weren't, not really and not totally, but they weren't a different person. Perhaps, at the least and most appropriately, both of them could merely inherit the will and the relationships of their past selves. But, in her eyes, it was preferrable that she wouldn't exclusively occupy her loved ones' minds as a shell that occupied who she once was. To that extent, she wanted to make sure that the same beliefs were extended to him.

"Thank you, and sorry, again, for all that. Uhm... what can you do... Nothing much, really. Uh, can we... How about we have some espresso? I-if you want. Just, I dunno... talk."

Odd, that Yuel felt shy in this moment.

She followed along as Saisei moved and took her up on the suggestion. That was nice. It still felt awkward for her, though that was more of a her thing than a him thing. That usually was the case with feeling awkward, wasn't it?

"Mmm, Azure, to me, was... a lot of things. At a certain point in my life, he was my whole world. I was a mundane person back then, and he kinda brought me into the whole world of, well, everything? I chased after him to Karakura to meet him again--actually, I had a huuuge crush on him back then. He was my first love, but later he became my father by adoption and that sort of affection faded out. I still loved him, of course, but I loved him as family. Still do, and forevermore.

What about you? Even if you never knew him, I'm sure with someone like me coming to you--and how you seem to already be aware of being Azure once upon a time, you've run into someone like me before? How have you lived, I guess carrying that sort of weight of past relationships behind you, or on your shoulders? How does it make you feel, when someone talks about him, or talks to you as if they were talking to him?"