Rest Thy Hearts (Helle/Liltotto)

The talk of the city, none dared to even approach the sorry sight before them. It began as a boat belonging to Erchanhardt pulled up to The City of Light's shore. As customary to visitors, it was met with the usual gate guards. Though, they were unprepared for what came from the boat, the sight enough to leave them speechless at first. None imagined seeing this woman again, especially with what had become of her. None were prepared for the wheelchair that carried their Director, her form limp as she was carried forth by one of Erchanhardt's most trusted. Of course, suspicion of treachery was thrown at the woman that pushed Helle forth, but Helle was quick to dismiss the claims, but, at the same time, refuse to explain further for now. All she wished was to return to someplace familiar: her home.

Her trip to the city was met with ushered silence, messengers hurrying to report about her return while also sharing the state of her person. It would not be long until Helle would find herself ambushed by those curious enough to invade her space. At least, thanks to Rafaela, Helle was able to make it to her house first, entering the place and taking a seat, with help, on her lone couch, waiting for the overdue knocks. For a second, she'll allow herself to rest, knowing that the next few hours, and possible days, will be full of stress. For now, the heart monitor beside her stayed steady.

Pure urgency dawned her day. One moment she was enjoying her down time, the next she was hearing the shocked murmurs of Helle Armstrong returning, much more, bound to a wheelchair and overall in a poorer state. She dropped what she was doing with little additional thought, and immediately went to tracking the woman down in the city. She damn well did forget herself and her manners, but such things were put aside; if she could help it, she needed to see the woman, even if her concern may appear strange.

She was a part of the Vandenreich, and therefore she was family, much like they had discussed. And family... Supported one another. If she was allowed, she would do her best to be better by her.

Soon, she had reached what she was assuming was the woman's dwelling, her presence strong and apparent here. Well, strong in 'She definitely is here', her presence felt... Far weaker than before, and she was practically bare bones last she had seen her. With little hesitation, she'd knock on the woman's door,

"Director Armstrong, it's Liltotto Lamperd," She'd call past the door, "I apologize for my intrusion but, I.. I've been worried about you, especially since your disappearance. Can I come in?"

Without another word, Liltotto grasped the door handle and slowly opened the door, the sight she was greeted with twisting a knife in her gut.

"...Oh, Helle..." She'd breathe, slowly taking a few steps forward to really look at the woman, to really take in what she was seeing. Though the woman was exhausted and stuck in her work the last she saw her, at the very least she had a sense of power to her.

No longer did Liltotto sense that power, at least not to the extent it was before.

Closing the door behind her, she'd sigh and approach the woman on the couch, placing a hand on one of the furniture's arms. Her eyes drew to the rhythmic beeping of a machine - a heart monitor. Helle herself didn't appear to be in good shape, physically or mentally either. Of course not, whatever happened...

"..You need anything? Food, water?" She would break the silence once more to take concern of the woman's needs, "..We don't have to talk about what happened if it's too much for you right now."

What an interesting sight. This is Liltotto? Why, the small woman Helle remembers seemed to exist no longer. This proved enough of a shock to raise her heartbeat by just a tick, but Helle quickly calmed herself to a point where her eyes barely showed surprise. However, she could not help but chuckle bitterly at Liltotto's efforts to help. They've only interacted once, but it seems the other blonde is still as obnoxious as before.

"I am alright, Liltotto, and that's Director Armstrong to you."

A small smile crept its way onto her face, but Helle was quick to let reality sink in and sigh deeply. She thought, for a second, on relaying the truth to Liltotto but decided against it. The other woman can probably sense that Helle is a far cry from what she used to be. There is barely a trinkle of the power that once exuded from the Sternritter Director. Helle disliked having this sort of attention thrown her way, so she goes about shifting the focus on the conversation.

"How are you, Liltotto. You are different."

"..Ah, apologies Director," She wasn't going to give Helle shit for labels and names, especially right now, "For spooking you, and the unintended disrespect."

While it was hard to imagine the woman had gotten this poor in figure, she didn't let her expression change. Pokerfaced as always, she was focused on Helle's wellbeing above satiating the curiosity she felt for what happened to her. Even if they didn't know each other very well, she maintained concern in her; As a Quincy, a Sternritter, a member of the Vandenreich, people she would and will always do her best to protect, even if she herself was not alike to any she walked with.

"..Oh, right, heh, I tend to forget about that..." A lie, an absolute lie as she looked at her figure - Liltotto often was struck with wondering of this change in her form after all this time, especially what it could even mean. She elected to make fun and joke about her appearance, but she always was reminded of this oddity,

"Well, i'm certainly not dead, dying, or robbed of my freedom, so I like to think it's all good on my end," She'd look around the room passively as she spoke, "As for the change... Yeah I dunno why i'm suddenly different. Just been rolling with it."

Helle chuckled, a sad and pathetic breath of air escaping from between her lips. As if anything could spook Helle these days. Everything simply felt surreal to her. Anything unexpected is simply another fact of life that comes and goes. There's little reason to stress over these things. Though, that's rather hypocritical to how she had lived until now. That's the power of near-death experiences. It is impossible to remain the same.

It is easy to tell that Liltotto's change was something the woman had wanted to occur. Those words that Liltotto spoke hit Helle harshly. For a second, Helle remembered everything: her body exploding with anger, her body dying, her body drowning. She remembered waking up wondering if she had passed on or not, and now, she is here, living her life bedridden and stuck in this horrid wheelchair. It seems both Liltotto and her are simply rolling.

"That is good. You have grown into a splendid individual. Accommodating these sudden life changes is never easy, but I am happy to see that you're still you."

Yeah, but Helle knows she is still not herself.

Liltotto could tell the impact her rather casually given words had on her. Whatever happened, it was awful, incredibly so... Her heart sank a bit to see the woman like this, and how whatever it was had affected her.

Staying by the woman's side, her gaze was low for a moment, a brief silence between words before she'd sigh, "..Okay, I gotta be real here. I'm not here to give you pity or hollow 'get better's. That just ain't me."

Her golden eyes would turn to look at Helle properly, a sense of seriousness behind her gaze, "Director, I don't know what happened, and you don't owe me an explanation, i'm only going off of what I see here and now. Right now, I can tell you're tired, shaken up, weak, what have you, and I can tell you're probably feeling horrendous about it, and that's okay. There is no shame in feeling your feelings."

Hands clasped together, she'd go on, "...But, you can't let those feelings tie you down and consume you. You're still processing shit, but don't ruminate on it. Don't let it define what and who you are from now on. Talk to your friends and loved ones, do things you'd enjoy, stay afloat."

She'd look to the side, a vivid look of sadness on her face, "..Just don't drown in despair, okay? You're a member of the Vandenreich, you're a part of the family, remember? And family's s'posed to be there for each other, so.. I.."

She'd stifle an awkward laugh, "..Sorry, sorry if I got a bit intense."

"Tired? Perhaps. I have yet to find a wink of sleep since my return. You understand, correct. Everyone's worried, but I am fine, Liltotto. Do not fret so overtly."

Words are thrown her way, but they're just more nonsense left to sink in Helle's mind. At this point, the Director isn't in danger of drowning out at sea. She's in danger of drowning from the worries of her subordinates. How many times must she hear that she shouldn't let herself succumb to depression. All anyone is doing is reminded her of her sorry state. Meaning well does not mean that one is doing the right thing. However, Helle did not dare vocalize her thoughts, opting to simply nod her head, that same smile on her face.

"Thank you for your concern though, Liltotto. I feel truly loved by my... family."

Was that a hint of hesitation? For the briefest of seconds, Helle's expression faltered, a slight crack, a small twinge at the corner of her lips. Though, it was what it was, and the woman dared not make it seem she had made a mistake. That is the least she can do to keep her sanity. Simply pretend you are fine until the sweet lies are enough to fill that void of faithlessness.

Her hands tightened as they clasped together, looking at Helle's face, hearing her words. Her lips firmed with that hesitation, that slight faltering,

"You don't," The smile on the woman's face vanished, her moving to instead crouch down on the floor in front of Helle, "I can hear it in your voice, I can see it on your face. You don't actually believe in that."

Her expression hardened as she'd shut her eyes and pinch her nosebridge "And you know what? Why wouldn't you after the state I saw you in?"

She was silent for a moment as she contemplated it, "You've done nothing but work yourself to death for others. When was the last time someone came to you, and it wasn't because they needed something from you? When was the last time someone was there for you, did something for you? When was the last time you did something for yourself?"

Feeling stirred in her as she spoke, but she kept her tone calm and low, "Director, i'm sorry. I'm sorry that things got to the point where you would feel that way. You need to take care of yourself, I don't care how stubborn you are about saving face or appearing strong, you can't live like this! This isn't healthy!"

She'd sigh, lowering her head, "..Even the strong weep, Helle. It's the mark of their humanity. So whatever you're feeling, however you're feeling... Stop hiding it. Cry, scream, be angry, tell me i'm wrong, whatever that you're forcing to stay deep inside of you, no matter how little or much, I will never think lesser of you for being a human being. If you feel there is no family here that loves you, let me be the first!"