Here We Go [Murasaki, Elyss]

Why is she being called here? There are a number of reasons, but Elyss doesn’t really care to go down the list. So, to save herself from a headache, the redhead allowed for the first thought to be her choice, and that thought was the altercation with Fourth Division. Honestly, nobody was hurt that badly outside of Hanako, so none could fault Elyss for having little worry on her face as she finally entered Murasaki’s office.

Captain Commander, huh? Elyss hadn’t really taken the time to think about any of this. Both Arkin and Murasaki are gone from the division, and that left her in charge- Wait a minute…

“I see,” She’d mutter under her breath when she finally stepped into the office fully, her prior thoughts eradicated as she focused entirely on the situation with Seventh. If she’s not in trouble, then that means there’s something else Murasaki wants to talk about, and what else is there to talk about outside of her situation with her zanpakuto and Seventh Division?

“I got that letter, and I gotta say, without thinking much, I think I already know whatcha want… The answer is no.”

Already turning down the position, Elyss folded her arms over her chest and let her face twist with a little frown. Her, running a Division? Please… That sounds like a horrible idea, and everyone would probably hate that. She knows she’s not seen as the best person to be around, and, considering how she turned down the position as Captain with Abalia, why would she take up a spot just for Murasaki? There has to be someone better for this, yeah? She messes up enough as just your average Shinigami.

“Uh… Alastor?” Elyss pondered out loud, knowing full well that he’s not really as fit as she is for the spot. He’s a good guy and all, but she’s stronger and probably has a bit more of a leader feel than him. At least he gives it out straight when he has something to say, but she does that too, so, really, she’s just better for the position. Well, she just thought herself out of that one, huh?

It’s pretty obvious too, considering she folded her arms and seemed a bit conflicted. There really isn’t anyone else outside of her one option that would fit the criteria. Why is she actually considering this?! She has way too many issues to be considering this. What if her training with Midori doesn’t work? What if she gets fucked up by Tenmarin? What if she has to be killed? Then what? All of this wouldn’t even matter?! Ugh!!! She could scream, but she won’t let her worries reflect on her physically. Though, it proved difficult to avoid her eyes clouding over with worry and fear. She’s made a lot of friends, huh? They’d be disappointed in her if she didn’t stand up to the plate and do something with herself that’d possibly help in the long run.

With a sigh, she just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, muttering in the end.

“Maybe… someone, I don’t know.”

‘Don’t look at me like that.’

Elyss’ thoughts roared with indecision. She’s unsure what she should do, and she can feel herself doubting everything that she is. Why does Murasaki trust her? After everything, why do people still believe in her? It hurts. Everyday she struggles, it hurts. She doesn’t want to let anyone down, but she can’t seem to stop. For a second, Murasaki would watch Elyss’ normal bravado crumble as the redhead seemed to recede into herself. The hands folded over her chest tightened as she gripped her arms and hugged herself. With her head tilted downward, her bangs fell over her eyes and hid the scared expression that plagued her features. If she became Captain, what’s stopping her from messing up horribly? Who’s going to save her if she can’t beat Tenmarin? People can throw out words of encouragement, but it takes action to make a change.

‘Elyss… It’s okay to be scared.’

Jumping somewhat, Elyss swore she heard something in the room, her head shooting up to look around, but she found herself alone. She found herself in a space entirely devoid of anyone and anything, a space of darkness, yet, she could see clearly.

‘Elyss’

Turning her head, she saw a familiar face, a woman with raven hair and eyes that matched the redhead’s own.

“Mom?” Elyss muttered, finding this vision incredulous. Though, she, herself, is aware that this is nothing more than a memory, something that people have every now and then when they need something to push them forward. Of course as she ponders her own worth that the words of family flourish through her mind.

‘Remember. When things get hard, and you don’t know what to do, it’s okay to take a weary step forward. If you stay still, then nothing will change. It will always remain hard if you never try, and don’t worry so much about failing. That’s why your father and I are here, to always help you along the way.’

Blinking, Elyss found herself back in Murasaki’s office, her arms still wrapped around herself, the words of her mother in her head still as she sighed deeply. She’s still unsure about all of this, but that small moment in her head had unlocked other memories. Elyss remembers Murasaki helping her, stopping her even when she had lost control the last time. In fact, Elyss can remember Murasaki almost killing Tenmarin. Even then, there’s Arkin, Hime, Abalia, Midori, Hanako… So many others are there to stop her if she does lose control, people to help her during the hard times.

“...Are you really sure, Murasaki? Are you positive that this is where you think I should be?”

Looking up, Elyss’ face is still contorted with worry, but there's just that small glimmer of hope in her eyes. She can see herself, leading people, being the one that stands in front of the masses during any issue. She can remember seeing herself like that so long ago. What a distant thought it had become. Now, it’s staring at her, a possible next step for her.