What up? [Sol/Asahina]

He listened to her as they walked, his eyes glancing off into the distance on occasion. There was a serenity to it all, one that he much appreciated. But the words she spoke ran counter to what he originally said, and despite that he didn’t change his demeanor. He was learning about her after all, and Sol was hardly the type to judge someone. Instead, he would simply look downward at their walking feet, then up again as she asked him a question.

“That’s interesting. I want to talk about that more, if it isn’t intrusive.” It was an interesting topic, and honestly, some morbid curiosity spoke to him. While he was no psychologist, he still wished to explore the topic. Perhaps some latent curiosity in his bones to a life that might’ve been had he not died. “I think I do. I don’t try to do wrong by others, and if it came down to it, I think I’d risk my life for a stranger.” He ponders for a second, the hand on her forearm patting it once as if in thought.

“I don’t think I’m all that much of a good man. But I want to be. I think that matters.” He’d remark as his lips came into a small smile. A bit sad in its nature, but genuine nonetheless. “If you help people, and it brings you nothing- no feeling, and you gain nothing materially, isn’t that technically the most true form of selflessness?” He’d pose in a genuine capacity, as if asking her thoughts on it rather than asserting it’s truthfulness.

“It’s very strange you feel that way, regarding these things. But interesting. Do you feel anything at all? Oh that sounds rude. I mean in the vein of… does anything bring you joy or anger? Feel free not to answer, Tomoe.”

“I suppose I will have to live up to that.”

Sol would remark as she spoke about her gut telling him where he stood. He had a feeling it wasn’t merely said for his sake but because that's what she genuinely meant. It was easy talking to people straightforward like this, it was often these types that he could communicate best with. No hidden agendas or half-truths, simple words spoken truthfully. As he took in a breath, his wounded chest would rise ignoring the pain before falling.

His eyes would browse the landscape to see a relatively large pond, using what little straight and guiding power he had to walk towards it. The path would take them from the beaten round onto the green fresh grace which seemed carefully maintained; perhaps it was uncommon for people to tread on it. But if he was concerned he didn’t show it, instead a small furrowed smile rested on his features as he watched the pond.

“However you feel, you still do it. I wonder if it matters, your intentions, as long as good is accomplished.” He’d his hand seemingly gripping her tighter for a moment, as if beginning to fall into deeper thought. What she said regarding simply watching, he could never. To watch what felt like his life go by while others moved on, that’s what he felt as an observer.

“If it brings you happiness, I suppose it is reason enough. But I don’t think I could do that, I can’t. It might be selfish, maybe even a bit stupid, but I want to be someone.” This was the first time in the presence of another that he expressed this sentiment, perhaps her being a stranger whom he might never meet again helped. As if he could say this without judgment, even if it sounded childish or even unimportant to the grand scheme of things.

“I want to be someone that will be remembered. I want people to look at me, and know, they were wrong about me. It sounds silly, but it’s important to me. To be a man that in the end, my kids can be proud of- that I can be proud of. And I don’t think I can get that by just watching.” He let’s out a small laugh, a light-hearted thing that poked fun at himself. Sometimes people held childish or lackluster ambitions that might cause them to become great. And that’s what he wanted, and in his eyes, what was so wrong with that?

It wasn’t the destination, it was the journey.

“There’s nothing wrong with contentment. The world often does better with people like that, they tend to take care of the recklessness people like me leave.”

He’d comment as he leaned against her while watching the pond, the subtle ripples caused by fishes serenely peaceful. He wasn’t one to judge and if anything being more content with life was a virtue to some, it certainly caused less trouble. But he wasn’t among those who could live that life for better or worst. And he was glad to receive the soft praise she offered to him. His chest rose with a deep breath, subtle pain in his body, before exhaling.

“Thank you, Tomoe. Ah, I think I’ll take that healing if the offer still stands.” He’d comment as he went to look at her, an easy and genuine smile on his face. Her words clearly made an impression on the young man, and he would remember them for time to come. Perhaps in his rise, or inevitable fall, her words would serve as motivation to persist on his chosen path. And she would glimpse an interesting story, for Solhammond Palliser was very much on the rise.

“Could I trouble you for an escort back to medical? I think my time outside has reached its limits.”