Little Early for Valentine's Day, No? [Makoto, Shishiyuki]

What a strange feeling the race inside her right now was. Up until now her head had been going so fast but it paled compared to her quickly her heart was beating at the next words. Stay tonight? It was sudden, she had so much to do or did she? Makoto could never really say she worried about deadlines when she was so on top of things. To spare one night, commit it to Shishiyuki? That seemed fine but what did that commitment mean?

"I'd like for you to stay the night."

It was not a lie but it only added to her thoughts, that underlying worry she was feeling and the insecurity. It was that feeling of letting go of the control in a situation which she never liked to do, not here especially where it was a domain that she controlled everything. However, she did not want to control Shishiyuki. Couldn't even. So she accepted it, she wanted it after all right?

Then it occurred to her, the deja vu. Shishiyuki was not prepared to stay the night with this impromptu sleepover which reflected the last time. Her cheeks were getting far to red to be passed off as nothing.

"Thank you."

It was a very genuine response, one that Shishiyuki made before she had even been able to fully think of how it might come across. But was it a bad answer? No, she would not say so. It was spoken from her heart, and even if it had almost been instinctive, she did not regret it.

"I suppose that I ought to fetch a few things, at least. It would make things a bit easier, I would imagine."

But her actions did not match her words. Shishiyuki only held Makoto's hand a bit tighter, and she moved to sit closer to her as she thought about the two of them here, together. She did not wish to go. She did not wish to bring their time together to even a temporary end. Was that too much? Shishiyuki worried about that, that she allowed this relationship to take up too much of her mind. How much was too much? Ah, it almost made her wish that she had not committed herself in such totality to discipline and iron will, if only so she might have learned these things sooner.

So, instead, she was simply here. Remaining with Makoto, unsure of what she ought to do, but unwilling to move away. She knew what she desired, but she did not dare to reach for it. Even in her confidence, that felt as if it were far too much to ask.

Now that was a shared feeling, the desire for their time to not come to an end and enjoy every moment. Even if it would be resumed after a brief intermission, Makoto had to think about it. Squeezing Shishiyuki's hand just a little bit out of instinct at the tightness on it.

"If you'd like to get a few things, that's okay or you can just do it later. How about you leave some things here next time you come?"

Makoto didn't do much to help with the conundrum that Shishiyuki felt, primarily because she was just as confused as what to do. Though in some way, her next words did give some help as ignorant as she was to whether or not it was helpful.

"Just do what you'd like to do."

She was just following up what she said by providing the options that Shishiyuki was thinking about and trying to avoid leaning in closer to her without thinking, it wouldn't help her make up her mind would it? Maybe she wanted her to lean in closer? Ugh, it was all so confusing. Taking her own advice, Makoto leaned in to rest her head on Shishiyuki. She'd just do what she wanted to do.

If Shishiyuki had been conflicted before, she was all the moreso at what Makoto had said. That she could go, or simply stay here. But, most pressing of all, to do what she would like to do. What did she want to do? To what degree did Makoto mean that? She wouldn't dare to assume, but she would certainly not deny her, either.

So, she found a comfortable middle ground, and wrapped her arm carefully around Makoto's waist. She did not go any further than that, did not even think to push for more than she might have been accepting of. But, whether or not she would do it, that did not change that Shishiyuki's mind still raced with thoughts she had typically been able to quash with no issue.

"I think it would be rather lovely, you know, to keep some things here. A comforting place where I can simply be myself."

It was meant more as a compliment than anything else, really, a statement of how much she trusted Makoto. She knew that the nature of their relationship was one that left her with no other recourse but to trust Makoto in such a way, but she welcomed that. It was better than simply closing herself off.

It was nice when Shishiyuki made that small move, it wasn't incredibly forward but it was enough to make her feel nice and comfortable in the moment. The kind of reassuring gesture that made her stop fretting about the situation and relax into Shishiyuki.

"Yeah, you can come here whenever you want."

She kind of just reaffirmed what she said earlier but in her head it conveyed what she wanted it to do, the same thing that she conveyed earlier but affirming it. Makoto wouldn't complain of her spending more time here, in a private space where she had no need for smoke and mirrors and could just be herself.

All those things that she liked in her and was able to see when people weren't looking.

"Oh? Whenever I want? I ought to be careful with such a generous offer, or I might well find myself here even when I am needed elsewhere."

Shishiyuki said it with a playful tone, of course, but there was a bit of an earnest air to the way that she had said it. She doubted that it was completely true, but of course, she would always bear in mind that she could simply come to visit. If anything, it was a very pleasant thought.

"Such a peaceful place, free of all the trappings of nobility, is a sanctuary unlike any other. Particularly when such sanctuary is maintained by a guardian so lovely."

She had avoided using her overly flowered speech, but she could not hold out forever, when there were so many compliments she might make. Makoto was someone that Shishiyuki held dear, and she wished to express that in the ways that she knew. Not all the time, but...now and again.

"You're the Shishi-chan though."

She said with a tease, looking down at the cup of tea that she had which was going cold due to her preference for sitting here and enjoying the warmth from Shishiyuki mixed with the kotatsu. It warmed her far more than the tea did on a cold day like this.

Makoto let out a small yawn, adjusting her position while she kept her head pressed up against her girlfriend. A little absentminded about what to say next, a little coy remark or something serious to discuss.

After a couple of moments dedicated to trying to continue to conversation she decided that maybe she didn't need to say anything and just enjoy the moment while it lasted until she could just fall asleep against her.