That Ain't No Trash Panda [Liltotto/Ania]

Ania didn't know what that meant, 'Sternritter'. But she knew, or at least she had an idea herself, of what being strong meant. For a moment, though, this lady had her idea waver a bit. That what being 'strong' meant wasn't just having power. Maybe there was something more to it. She couldn't really put it into words, or even a solidified thought. There was something there though, probably.

It was also probably the first time Ania didn't feel envious about someone else being strong, coveting it for herself. What was this feeling, instead? Not really curiosity, or any more than usual. It made her chest feel big. Not in an empty way, cause something felt like it was welling up inside her. At this time, Ania hadn't the faintest idea of what admiration really meant, or that it could've been what she was feeling right now.

"How'd ye become strong? You born lik' dat? Or you got power sum oda' wey?"

What you want to be strong for. That was quite a question, one that Ania had an answer at the ready for. She'd been asked that before, not exactly in the same way; her answer was roughly the same each time, and it never seemed well received. But, Ania didn't interrupt. The lady already demonstrated that, whatever she had to say, it was probably worth listening to.

She was right. What the lady described as "strength" is not at all what Ania considered. Power was a tangible thing in her book, it wasn't the individual's character. But, this did make Ania recall her conversation with the witch on that Harbour some year, or years, ago. It was more of an argument, really.

What happens when I get de power ta beat de people I wanna beat up? When I get de power ta do what I want? Maybe de right ting. Who knows. But, I'll know 'dat however I use it, it won't be like you. God forbid I use it like you. The saints won't rest easy if I do.

Ania let the lady finish completely, and she didn't respond immediately. She just remained still, genuinely giving what was said some thought. First and foremost, she wanted power. The reason? To beat people up, a sort of vengeance. But, somewhere deep inside she had the idea that it probably wouldn't happen. More importantly, she desired the means to not be beaten up herself. To defend herself, to not be trivialised. To be taken seriously, or at the very least be considered. To be a part of the conversation, not to feel alone. To be the type of person that could make friends with the other kids.

These sorts of thoughts sat in the back of her mind, but she never confronted them--she refused to. Now that they were coming to the forefront, Ania couldn't help but feel emotional, expressively. She turned to her side with her back facing the lady. She didn't want to be seen crying [i]again.

Her voice came out feebly, more of a muttering. "... I dunno."

The girl's frame became smaller as she tucked her knees into her chest.

Be open minded. Okay. Sure. Where to start?

"Wat shud I wanna do?"

What did 'better for herself' really mean here? Hierarchy of needs? Ania needed direction, not a master class. It was hard and confusing as is to just heed the advice and step out of this comfort zone of thought.

Hobbes closed his eyes and rubbed into the lady's hand, gratefully receiving the pats and purring along the way. Meanwhile, Ania was racking her brains for an answer. It was difficult. She never had to use her head this much in school.

"Power."

Try as she might, this was the framework to her thoughts for a while now; it was difficult to step away from that. It was always her understanding that "strength" lead to comfort, relationships, a higher standard of living and personal welfare. It meant she could assure food for herself, for Hobbes. Still, Ania knew that, probably at least, the lady was looking for a different answer.

That was a much better question, but also a fairly simple answer.

"Being strong dat people can no bully me. Stuff dat go pew pew, kaboom, zyooom."

Ania flailed her arms along her sound effects to really drive home this image of strength, how flashy it could be, and more importantly how insurmountable it should be. Of course, power, as she saw it, also came in many forms. Whether it was the hydrokinetics she once saw, the bursts of light and magic spells she saw casted, or even the show of physical strength that let people lift weights far beyond what was feasible for herself.

Ania even imagined someone with the powers of an octopus, a most dashing of creatures, with all sorts of powers they were naturally born with. Octopus were also creatures subjected to being hunted, as fascinating and incredible as they were. They were cute little things she felt very strongly for.

Ultimately, what mattered about power, regardless of what form it could be expressed in, was how it could be used. Of course what mattered most was that it was power Ania could wield in her hands.

The rapier had her immediately enthralled. She lunged herself forward off the floor wide eyed and mouth agape. The lady wasn't lying! That thing came out of nowhere!

Not just that, but the lady was also speaking nothing but the purest of facts. She really understood things. That was roughly how Ania viewed bullies to act as well, and why she so desperately wanted the means to be able to have them running.

Without hesitation, Ania nodded her head in agreement. Finally, finally! This was it! This was the moment she had been waiting for, her whole life! The promise of power! Ania was jittering in excitement and anticipation, bobbing and hopping up and down. She turned around to shake Hobbes up, give him a big 'ol hug around the neck and swing him back and forth. Hobbes simply relented to her energy.

"Wen we start? Now? Where we go an' do at?"