Who is Queen? [Shishiyuki, Kasha]

"Through cordiality and the occasional violence, primarily."

Despite her blunt response, Shishiyuki did nevertheless listen to Kasaha's actual commentary on the matter. It was true, whether or not she would particularly wish to admit it, that the two were not especially different as people. Shishiyuki had more self-control, and she would hold herself to that, but there was something to be respected about Kasha's willingness to simply exist as herself.

"What do I want? Now that is a question I have not asked myself in a very long time. At least, not without some addendum or another to change the question's whole meaning. What I want for a student, what I want for a family. The matter of what I want for myself has never mattered much."

Shishiyuki turned her eyes to Kasha, though there was not much of the dismissive attitude that had been there before. She didn't like it, but there was certainly understanding there.

"I wish to live as I please, and die a senseless death. But that, Kasha, is not a desire that I think has been tempered by anything more than bitterness. I suspect I will need time before I can answer that question in earnest, unclouded by my circumstances."

"Ta ta."

She interrupted at the end, a little bit of evasion going on there after they were so close to the crux of such an issue for her troubled soul. What better place than a sauna to resolve all these complicated things? It really purified the body and mind, huh. Man, she loved this shit.

"To live as you please, you couldn't answer with something like that if you did not know for a fact you wanted something. Something more out of the shitshow called life. So let's hear what living as you please means, unbeholden to responsibilities? Principles? Other people? Are you a hedonist at heart that just refuses to acknowledge it.. a violent one?"

Now she was grilling Shishiyuki no different than if she were grilling her own student. Throwing out every possible thing that came to her mind just to force the poor individual in question to have to think about all of the things presented to them and build their conclusion, decisively. Indecisive people were a pain in the ass. Think, therefore do.

There was certainly something remarkably irritating about Kasha's directness, but Shishiyuki still preferred it quite drastically to the typical aimless nature of her other family's speech. This, if nothing else, was clear in its intention.

"I have trained my whole life to master my school. Yet even among my own family, I can display barely anything, and among those outside I must pretend I know nothing beyond those same fundamentals that any amateur with enough time at Shin'o Academy could know."

Her hand tightening into a fist, Shishiyuki watched the scars as they shifted slightly from the tensed muscles underneath, as they became only more obvious.

"If I had it my way, I would not hide these scars. I would not hide the centuries I have spent training, becoming everything that I am. I wish only to be recognized for what I have done. I take no pleasure in violence on account of the pain of others. It is only because there is no other way that my efforts might bear fruit."

"That's more like it, then forgo all your subtefuge crap and just be yourself. You're better that way for the most part."

She said cheerily through the humid air of the room and basked in it, boy this sure was comfy right now especially being able to lecture her and screw with traditions. She sure did hate those things for no reason other than they sucked and were inconvenient.

"You ought to make like a peacock and preen, well. That's just my thoughts on the matter anyway, what's the point of lying to family about the kind of person you are."

Smiling faintly to herself, Shishiyuki closed her eyes and simply shrugged. Much as she agreed with Kasha on the principle of the matter, she was not the same type of woman. Whether or not she liked those sorts of things, she understood that matters of subterfuge were still necessary. If nothing else, because she understood the true nature of her family's purpose.

"I will consider it. Even if I did choose to drop this facade, it would likely not be particularly beneficial to me if I did so all at once. It would be something to be done over time, simply so I am not bothered by constant questions."

Of course, she could have just sent those people away, by force if need be, but she was farily certain that Kasha would already know that Shishiyuki was simply not that sort of person. To directly bring harm to any of her family, regardless of her opinion on them, was something she did not care to do.

"Aww, well you do you I suppose."

Kasha didn't need to admit it to make it obvious just how much she'd have enjoyed watching the rest of her kin squeem and squawk if Shishiyuki opened up to them. The old prudes would probably die of heart attacks right there! Ha. Stupid pansies they were. Regardless though, Kasha was still satisfied with what might be called progress made today. A more paranoid person might even presume there was some scheme or ulterior motive here but people that actually knew her could tell that those things were below her.

"Questions are annoying but they're so fun to deny people an answer with, like how my little student would react if he came in here seeing us all naked and fucked up while cuddling."

Now that was just immature but the more numbers that were added to her age only subtracted the theoretical quantity of maturity that she had.

"Oh, is that what we would refer to this as? 'Cuddling?'"

Shishiyuki's tone did more than enough to convey the degree of sarcasm in that question, particularly seeing as she wouldn't consider it such at all. "Hanging on" would have been what she referred to it as. Still, she did nothing to actually correct Kasha either way. A small indicator that she was willing to allow the woman her own stance on the matter. And, by extension, most others.

"I ought to ready for whenever he returns, I think. But this has been a rather elucidating visit. I imagine you and I have both learned a lesson or two, hm?"

One might have called such a comment backhanded or subtle in most circumstances, but the look in Shishiyuki's eyes as she stood made it quite clear that there was no subtlety to be found in it. She had enjoyed this little bonding session, and would gladly do so again. But, at the same time, she would meet any future disrespect with all the same harshness she had shown today. Of course, she knew Kasha would probably enjoy that.

That was her prerogative.

"Could be, could be more if you wanted to cop a feel or something."

Another round of laughter in that eerie disconnect of contrasting themes, lady of high birth and common ruffian but Kasha yielded and shrugged. Shishiyuki was right, though part of her did want her student to barge in at this very moment and see them both together. Oh he'd be so confused and dazed, shocked even.

"I sure have learned a lot, if I'm ever bored I should piss you off because it'll get me more of a reaction and a bit more action out of it than anyone else in this damned family but you go, I'm staying right here."

That was both because she was happy to relax all day here and partly because of the fact her legs were in such bad shape that she was happy to avoid putting any pressure at all on them.

"See you later, Shishiyuki. Keep your assets out next time too."

Scars, but the rest of it she wouldn't complain about either.