Friend or Traitor, Come [Cyrus, Arcadia]

Every facet of his being ached. His body, his mind, his soul. Cyrus knew, from the moment that his eyes opened, how very much he had lost, but in his mind it had surely been worthwhile even so. He would suffer this agony a thousand times over if it meant the salvation of the world and of the people.

"...I am awake, at last."

Even with the usual baritone of his voice, Cyrus' words seemed so very empty compared to the way he had once spoken. The weight of divinity, the confidence in his existence... it was all gone. Whether stolen by Mazda, or whether merely a marker of those changes that had led to Mazda's creation, who could say?

"I suppose that we have succeeded, then."

Cradled in Arcadia's arms, Cyrus did not feel as though he were much of a success at all.

She continued the walk after her departure from the rest of the group, it was silent given she had a lot on her mind at the moment until Cyrus finally woke up and she stopped her journey to give him a thoughtful look. How did she respond to him, so many options and her decisiveness was not so present today. No, she was far more quieter since she hesitated before Mazda at the first sight of him and did her ritual.

"No. I failed."

There should be anger for this frustration, a fiery rage at what she had given up and what she had received in return. She was angry that she had raised the option in the first place and even more so that Cyrus had taken it. It was a circumstance of her own making and that didn't change the fact it was entirely from her own emotional response to the situation. She would've taken a different aspect, maybe the carefree childish aspect who enjoyed naivety if she could have to escape it. There was no point hiding from reality anyway.

"I can feel the presence of that divine might given flesh. It does not escape me."

And, yet, Arcadia spoke so assuredly that she had failed. Why? He did not doubt her, and perhaps that was a failing on his own part. She was not one to be trusted, and yet he had put such faith in her to this point. Ought he have simply continued to? Who was to say?

"I did not envision this coming to pass. Nor, I suspect, did you."

To speak caused him such pain, but he still spoke regardless. After all, he knew that this existence was wholly unremarkable when compared to that which Shirohime endured. Ruminating on it was so childish of him.

"I did not, no. The expression of your divinity is quite something."

Arcadia wondered to herself why she called it his divinity. It was quite clear that it had abandoned him, left him to rot for pursuit of greater things like a carcus used for nesting insects. If anything disassociating it from Cyrus would probably make it easier to handle interactions with it, it wasn't that simple for her though.

"Do you loathe me for what I've done?"

If everything that had occurred up to this point said anything, she expected that she was living on borrowed time. With how casual Mazda seemed about killing her, it made her wonder why he had even bothered saving her from the moment her ritual was complete and she left herself to die. Then there was that woman as well. It did make her wonder how he felt.

"I do not. You did as I asked of you. I ought to ask you the same question, Arcadia. I am no longer a god before you. I am barely even a man, with all that is now missing of my soul."

Cyrus was not a fool. He knew quite well that Arcadia valued him for the role that he had filled, for what he had been able to offer him. But now, he had nothing that he might give her beyond that of the Vandenreich for her cause. It was quite little in comparison to everything he had once been, but a man of conviction thought only in terms of his aims.

"You are still one to whom I have promised my aid, and one with whom I have shared much. Though this outcome was not anticipated, you are no more to blame than I. To loathe you for that would be self-absorbed."

Would she abandon him, knowing how little he now offered her? Perhaps. Cyrus could feel that his own outlook on these matters had changed, the weight of divinity no longer clouding his judgement. Arcadia, whether some ordained rival of his or merely a demon that he had sworn to help, had nevertheless put her own life into jeopardy in the pursuit of their shared aims. He could not hate her for that.

There was an abrupt halt as he turned the question around on her. Why did he put himself in this position? All he had to do was keep his mouth shut and not ask that question, just let it linger unspoken and unclarified. Arcadia looked down the hallway, not at Cyrus, while she thought about how to answer. If he had never asked it, then she would never have needed to consider what he was to her now.

"I am not a misanthropist, Cyrus. I do not loathe humans because they are just that, humans."

She didn't want to have to create a conclusion beyond whatever she had formed yet. The demon couldn't even have a clear idea of how long that might take to decide.

Her feet continued moving and it would become apparent that she was not taking him to the infirmary, in fact she had no intention in the first place. Were she even a little petty then she might've changed her destination from the infirmary to scorn Helle, but no. The place she was taking him was his room and once she got there Arcadia gently put him down on his bed.

With him out of her hands, Arcadia brought her finger up to her mouth and bit it. Just so that a decent stream came out. It made her wonder why she was still sacrificing more of herself for him while she stuck her finger out with the expectation that he'd drink. He'd do well not to ask, Arcadia didn't want to have to explain why she let him drink her ichor. At least with her natural affinity for improvement, it should help his body over time.

"I suppose you have won against me, Ahura Mazda has defeated Angra Mainyu."

She had been all but beaten after all, her subjugation under Mazda seemed all but ensured now if she didn't die and while he seemed broken. It was not her that broke his will. Regardless of the matter, she still saw Mazda as something that came from Cyrus. Child, spawn, parasite? She hadn't classified him yet. On the other hand, she wondered how long it would take for the name Angra Mainyu to be something she grew tired of wearing. From Cyrus it didn't bother her, the man with the other women though? It bothered her a lot to hear it from him.

"I am no longer the Ahura Mazda, Arcadia. Nor are you my Angra Mainyu. If you wish for me to call you such, then I will still do so. But I have won no victory over you."

Even sounding as sickly as he did, there was something resembling conviction in those words. Strength of belief, if only in the knowledge that he was very much not the man he had been. The trappings of the divine still lingered, he knew, but the full scope of the Sun's light no longer completed his soul. He leaned forward graciously, drinking of Arcadia as offered to him. He knew, if only on account of her nature, that this was meant for his benefit.

"I do wonder how long this body will last. That divinity I once carried replaced a great deal of my existence. My humanity, and my life, were cast aside for it. I suspect that I will simply fade into nothing, in time. All the more reason that I cannot delay in my efforts. I will not depart this world with my oaths unfulfilled."

Cyrus lingered on those final words, as if he still had more to say on them. He had made many promises; he would not let another of them be broken. Closing his eyes, the Grandmaster of the Vandenreich considered the oaths he had made. To Shirohime, to Arcadia, to Helle.

...To Helle. He had sworn her a life of peace, when the world was remade. A life where they might raise a family together, where he would not need the shackles of divinity. He could not let such a world go unmade.

"I suppose that to live in the shadow of this death is my penance, for having played at godhood."

While she could be honest and correct him, he had in fact had a victory over her but she would never express that as the case or why. A further reason of not telling him is entirely because she didn't want to interupt him on her finger. She needed to shake her head though and regain some clarity to focus on his words after he stopped though.

"I see. You haven't changed a bit, have you?"

It was insensitive to say but she said it anyway. Her finger healed the small amount of damage when he was done and she turned the act of him sucking her finger into a caress down his cheek.

"You're still more concerned about everyone else than yourself."

That was exactly why she didn't comment on the oath he made to her. Arcadia still didn't see herself living much longer, if only because Mazda would choose to destroy her if he wanted to spare the effort. Worrying him with that knowledge though was not the type of person she was for one and secondly, the concerns of a divine were not matters lesser beings needed to burden themselves with.

"Also, you may refer to me as Arcadia.. or Merek from now on."

She had forgotten to clarify her stance on his Angra Mainyu statement, she had gotten distracted with her thoughts then.

"I was put upon this Earth for the good of others. I have remade myself once before in this aim, and perhaps now I have done it again. It is simply in my nature."

Despite the agony which coursed through his body, the presence of Arcadia's hand upon his cheek was comforting, reassuring even. Perhaps it was simply the familiarity of it all, something he had known as divine. It had not changed, and such a simple thing was the faintest bit calming to him.

"I must apologize, if I lose consciousness once more. I doubt that any recovery will come quickly, and I am rather unused to having so little strength. I hope you will not mind staying with me, if only until I am asleep once more."

Of course he did not wish to be alone. And for Cyrus, he who had thrown away so much, it was a reassurance to have someone at his side.

"Your nature is very destructive, you know."

She took a seat on the bed beside him, continuing with her gentle motions of patting his head or cheek while he spoke. Faustin might've called it a day much before this but Merek's motherly attributes only encouraged her to smile and nod at him to comfort him.

"You shouldn't fight your need to rest, Cyrus. Everyone else is busy at the moment. They will come see you later, I'm sure they will be glad to see you awake finally."

Not glad to see her though, that's alright though. Her words were mostly done for encouragement and support more than actual sincerity of whether or not the others would see him.