Eyes to Idolize (Elyss/Abalia)

Normally, Elyss isn't the type for abusing her responsibilities. However, she couldn't shake the adamant feeling weighing heavily on her shoulders. There are but a few that know what she knows, and her curiosity about the issue proves her main reason for her actions. It was by her aggressive hand that the original member of the seventh that was sent on this task had been given the day off, the papers already turned in but much still left to do. Who else, though, could she share her thoughts with besides with the only other person who knows Ulv personally?

That is her reason for knocking on the Captain Commander's office door, a part of her hoping that Abalia had stepped out. The redhead remembers their last conversation. It was an experience, the first Elyss had ever felt meek and humbled by another. It truly felt like she was meeting her boss, but at the same time, it felt like she had met with a woman that had everything about herself figured out. There wasn't any room for insecurities, doubts, or second thoughts in Abalia's eyes, and yet, Elyss couldn't help but remain attentive and stare into them like a juvenile puppy. If they stood side by side, anyone would point her out as the weaker woman.

It's all too blatantly clear. Elyss can see her own issues, but it is proving impossible to find the correct path to remedying them. That is why she is here, not only to figure out her position with Ulv, but to, also, hopefully, figure out a means to reach a satisfiable end. If only her being held a slimmer of that security that Abalia exudes, maybe everything that had happened wouldn't have happened, or, at the least, happen differently and not have the potential to cost her everything all the time. Oh, how she'd have rather avoided doing this, especially with learning about the situation in Vastime, but she had already dug her own grave by knocking.

Spurred from her thoughts, apprehension would place it's cold fingers on her shoulders. Albeit small, the nervousness that washed over her did refocus her mind. Though, the Captain Commander’s time is valuable, and, surely, the clock has already begun to tick, meaning Elyss should stop wasting time. The door is opened, just wide enough for the redhead to slip in and close it with barely a click. The office is the same as it was the last time she had visited. Despite the circumstantial differences, the recognition is comforting. If only what she wants to talk about proved less peculiar.

“...Captain Commander…”

There was a pause between Elyss entering and her actually greeting Abalia, even as her greeting sucked. It’s obvious that whatever is on the redhead’s mind is causing her to act shy, something no one would relate to the boisterous woman. If Alex had painted an accurate picture, then one might think this Elyss an inverse than the actual woman. There’s a lack of bravado on her face. The fierceness that normally keeps people away is gone and replaced by a lame meekness. However, the redhead still stepped forward and took a seat for herself. Anything is better than standing right now anyway.

“I’ll… just go ahead and ask first… Have y- Mmm...Well.., you’re friends with Ulv, right? Just friends, like, buddy buddy friends and not the, ya know, touchy grindy friends, right? Yeah?”

Ah. She didn’t enjoy asking that or insinuating that Abalia and Ulv had done the deed in the past. It’s pretty impossible to not think of one of Ulv’s friends as one of the woman’s conquests. Alex was the first and only person related to Ulv, that Elyss knows, that hadn’t been felled by the brute’s demented charm. It’s a weird question to start the conversation off with, but it’s one that Elyss wants to know the answer to before continuing. Abalia doesn’t seem the type for something as loose as what Ulv gives, but one never knows what another keeps in their closet. It’d be a shame if true though.

“O-Oh. Fair… Yeah. I guess that was a weird question, wasn’t it? Sorry.”

If Abalia had decided not to answer, then that would have been it. Elyss wasn’t going to be pushy about that particular thing, but it did make her feel less awkward. As with Hanako and with others, Elyss didn’t want to be blindsided with the fact that the woman she sees in a paternal manner has slept with yet another person who she’s trying to converse with. However, with that out of the way, the redhead is left to move the conversation onto another touchy subject. It’s rather plain to see that she’s still nervous with the way her eyes are bouncing around, the silence between the two eternal but broken in just a few seconds.

“I’m guessing you know about Ulv and Algo’s relationship, huh?”

Her voice but a whisper, it’s obvious that she did not particularly desire to bring attention to the two. There is a near 0 percent chance that either of the two women mentioned would appear, but the idea that an altercation could occur stayed her brashness. In fact, she even leaned in a bit more, over Abalia’s desk, just to make the conversation feel even more private and secure. The curiosity in her eyes is blatant. Even without her speaking any further, the topic of this conversation is already starting to form: a debacle of morals, obligations, and direction.

Did she just die? It felt like she just died. There was a moment where nothing existed but a simple red haze that blanketed her eyes like the morning sun. It felt startling similar to the moments where she would lose control over her own emotions and know nothing but how to kill. Ah. Her hands are shaking in her lap. Is she scared? No. This isn’t something she can mentally comprehend. Her eyes, still blurred, moved down to stare at her still trembling hands. Whatever that was had come and gone in a flash, but the effects of it were all too surreal. When did she start breathing so hard? Her mouth is agape, gasping. So, this is her Captain Commander. This is Abalia Kyoraku-Hayden. How frightening… How interesting…

“...Y-Yes…” Answering felt like sentencing herself to death, each syllable strained. “The rumors... are true... I... should know. I was there.” There’s no point in hiding it. One way or another, this would have become known to the world. However, Elyss had expected for the people that are considered Ulv’s friends to have already known about the woman’s sinful relationship with one of many devils. The woman is dying, and yet, is keeping secrets from everyone, even someone like Abalia.

“After Algos attacked Minatumi, sometime after, Ulv and her became intimate. They… even have a child together.”

Her eyes move up, the haze gone, but replaced with an unsteady gleam. Elyss’ lips are taunt, an impartial expression. Her hands, balled to keep from shaking, tighten further. Her answer has probably turned the world upside down, and knowing what is possible, she could only steel herself for that similar pressure to return. Yet, she could not accept death so easily without speaking more of her mind. Her mouth started moving quickly, hoping to get it all out before she loses all ability to speak.

“That’s why I’m here. After so much wandering, I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with my life, but that means I have to finally come to terms with my own morals. I thought you knew. I thought she would have at least told you since you’re who you are, but… I don’t like this, and I came here wondering what you would have done in this situation.”

Each word strengthened her resolve, her eyes steady and purposefully focused on the woman across the desk. How many times has she stared down assured destruction now? She should start keeping track.

She didn’t die, surprisingly. In fact, that pressure from before did not even emerge this time. However, the feeling of guilt now bares its fangs into her. The information she had shared was important in a big picture, yes. She didn’t know that Abalia didn’t know, allowing herself to believe that some form of compromise had been found. It seems that is not the case at all. It seems that Ulv had done that thing she is most famous for, acting without thinking or caring about how it would affect those around her. Hell. Elyss’ whole reason for coming here was to understand how Abalia had handled this, but now they both are forced to understand and come to terms with this situation. This is troubling, but it’s at least obvious to the redhead that this is not going to end well for her adopted mother. And yet, she is not troubled. Maybe it’s Abalia’s reaction, even if not outwardly shown, that calms her nerves. It seems that there is a place in the world that does make sense. In this office room, despite staring down her Captain Commander, Elyss actually feels relieved.

“...I didn’t think she would keep this from you, if I’m being honest. Ulv is just trying to help Algos, I think. Help her with what? I don’t know. That woman sees someone she thinks is struggling and jumps in to save them, whether they deserve it or not. That recklessness is admirable but also problematic. I can admit that much, at least. I just didn’t want to believe she would dance with the devil without letting everyone know, but now that I know she’s doing this behind everyone’s back, I’m not sure what to make of it all. Lately, I’ve been struggling to make sense of a lot of things relating to wrong and right. I sometimes wish I was a robot that only saw things in 1’s and 0’s. It would make existing so much easier…”

Her voice died out before she could continue ranting. Abalia may have given her the green light to speak her mind, but that doesn’t make it any easier to blurt out everything plaguing her. In fact, being able to choose to speak up or not just makes it easier to pick the latter. Obviously struggling, her gaze falters, moving over to the wall. The pensiveness of her half lidded eyes would suggest that she is lost in deep thought. A moment would pass, and then, another one. It feels like that’s all that Elyss would say on this matter, or on any matter.

“...How does this make you feel, Captain?”

Elyss’ eyes wouldn’t return to the other woman as she asked her question. It doesn’t even seem she’s really expecting much from asking it either. She’s just… lost, lost on how to really handle this, lost on what to think, lost on how to feel. Just, lost.