Mother May I? (Abalia/Elyss)

Senkaimon. That’s the form of transportation that Ulv had allowed Elyss: a gate between the human world and the soul world. Elyss still remembers the last time she used it. It’s not a happy memory. Though, the past is the past, and now, she’s using it with permission. With a Jigokuchō guiding her, she is soon to reach Soul Society, and after giving verification that she is here due to Ulv, she is allowed to proceed.

Back in the Seireitei again, but she’s here for a particular reason. Has anything changed since she’s been gone? She can look around later. Besides, she doesn't want to run into anyone that she knows just yet. She has one thing on her mind that she must do, and even with all kinds of thoughts in her head, she’s not going to allow herself to get distracted. Her steps are purposeful, all looks her way are ignored, and once she reaches that building, she is quick to simply walk in. She’s here: the 1st division barracks. Well, now she has to figure out how to get to the Captain Commander.

Asking one person here. Another person over here. All of them are saying the same thing: set up a reservation. Apparently being the Captain Commander comes with a busy schedule. Who knew? It’d be wrong and probably get her killed to try and force her way through, so she finds herself waiting around within the building for her turn. She kind of lied a bit by saying she’s here on official business for Ulv which got her placed further up the list fortunately. And, soon, she is called up to go meet the Captain Commander.

Finally, she’s at the door and ready to achieve her one goal: repentance. Her knuckles knock against the door as she waits for the vocal notification to come inside. Once she is given such, the door is opened, and she’d enter into the office of the Captain Commander’s. Strangely, Elyss is ignorant to this person’s looks and such. Guess she was too absorbed in her own mess to really pay attention to her surroundings, but now is her chance to see what she’s working with, or against.

Oh. Her name is known. Well, that shouldn’t be too surprising. Has Ulv spoken of her? Murasaki? Some general report? Ah, that doesn’t matter right now. How should one approach this situation? Bowing right? Erm… Elyss does just that, dropping her head and upper half a bit in an awkward bow that’d let the Captain Commander know that she has no real idea how to properly go about any of this. She did lie to get in here after all. Hell, Ulv had told her to go speak to her exCaptain first, but here she is stepping way past Murasaki into unknown territory.

“Uh… It seems I’m a bit known?”

She couldn’t help but chuckle lightly with nervousness as she straightens up and allows for her eyes to bounce around the room. Elyss isn’t normally so nervous, but she just has no idea what to expect right now. Is she going to get punished? Banished? Executed? Her thoughts are rather wild, but she can’t help it; especially after everything that has happened recently. It’s hard to keep a straight head sometimes. Well, she should hit the main issue immediately. There is no point in playing somewhat coy. Ulv would have gone straight to the point anyway.

“I apologize…” There it is, and it’s followed by another stupid bow from the redhead; her body snapping quickly. “I messed up big time and did a lot of stupid things. I destroyed property, attacked my Captain, and ran away without a word. I also lied about coming here under the pretense that Ulv wanted something. I… I-I… I don’t know. Ulv calls me stupid, and it’s true, so… there’s that. I shall accept any punishment given. Pleasedon’texecutemethough.”

She rushed out those last words quickly and under her breath with her eyes closed as she stumbled through relaying everything she did and apologizing for it. Well, Ulv probably wouldn’t have liked the execution, but Elyss has let it all out despite the fact that it’s all probably known already. It’s just to clear her conscience a bit better, yeah. As if a kid wondering how angry their parents may look after they spilled the beans, her head tilted up slightly just so she could peek at the woman sitting at the desk.

No intention to execute her? Phew. That’s a scary thought relieved from her memories. Though, the CC is quick to remind her of what else she has to do. Ulv told her to apologize to Murasaki as well. Elyss just wanted to see if she’s even welcomed here first. Just because a few people like having you around, the one who makes the important decisions may find it best to let you go. Why bother others with her presence if it’s only temporary. Maybe Elyss was thinking too critical of her situation however. It’s nice knowing that she won’t be suffering the severest of punishments, but there is still room for some form of repercussion. So, with that in mind, she takes a seat.

“I guess knowing everything is your job, and I’ll get to Mura - Captain Murasaki. I just- Okay. Maybe I am a bit scared and maybe I sort of ignored Ulv telling me to go straight to her. I just… I’ve just messed up a lot and fixing everything has proven quite a journey.”

She rationalized why she came here, but people always rationalize why they’ve avoided doing certain things. For someone who’s always straight to the point, she’s dancing a lot around her troubles right now. An outside party that’s not entirely a part of her personal situation just seemed easier to confront first than her exCaptain. Falling quiet, the redhead couldn’t help but wonder what the CC thought of such as her hands came together, her thumbs circling each other as her eyes focused downward.

Fear. Man, Elyss has tried living her life without fear. That usually doesn’t go well for her. Now, she knows all about being worried about something. She’s suffered so many consequences that, even though she still seems to carry herself the same, she has begun to show a considerable amount of care: thinking things through, controlling her urges, being sensible. She still knows she’s going to make mistakes, but she’s not planning on giving up yet, and that leads into the next issue; her service with the Gotei. She’s thought about such for a while now. She could continue to do her own thing, but she feels like she’s missing something, a big picture to everything. Is being on her own holding her back from her true potential? Can she reach her goals alone? Is the Gotei the right organization for her? There’s so many questions to ask and so many possible answers. It’s hard to really make a decision, and now that she’s been put on the spot, it’s become harder.

“I-” Eh, her voice is quick to die before she can utter anything beyond that one word. What would Ulv do? That’s a dumb question to ask herself though because Ulv is a unique being that Elyss can only relate to when it comes down to certain aspects. This situation would go entirely different for the both of them. Closing her eyes, her arms fold over her chest as her face scrunches in thought. Things race through her mind at such a sluggish pace, but she has only been thinking for a few seconds: Tenmarin, Squad 7, Murasaki, Hime, Ulv, Alex and his family, V, and this world she’s living in. Can she do what she must now or in the foreseeable future without the Gotei? The answer comes rather quickly as she thinks about her own inner self.

“I think… I think I do, Captain Commander… I just don’t know if I won’t mess up again is all.”

Her eyes open slowly as the self doubt is evident on her features. Someone as aggressive and proud as herself allowing such a moment of weakness to show itself before someone so powerful? She’s only done such with Ulv, but right now isn’t the time to be a hardass or some emotionless sentinel. Right now is the time to let her heart shed and be bare for the world to see.

“If you’ll have me, I will serve, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be the perfect soldier. Ulv always tells me that I’m quite the emotional person, and I find it hard to prove otherwise.”