A Day at the Dojo [Carter/Hana]

It took Hanako quite a while to get a hold of herself. As far as she knew she had never before cried in her life. Most of her emotions had been bottled up deep inside her and that had been that. And now that this seal was finally broken she didn’t know how to stop it.

Finally, there were simply no more tears left to cry and Hanako calmed down. She sat up, uncovered her face and took a long, shuddering breath. For a few moments she remained like this: sitting on her knees, her upper body straight and her face turned to the ceiling. Some of her hair stuck to her skin, but you couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or tears. Probably both. Herface could be described as beautiful as she sat there, with closed eyes, her cheeks still red, and enjoying the peace that always followed such an outburst.

When she looked at Carter her eyes were still looking a bit glassy, but her cheeks were dry again and her breath going steady.

“Thank you.” she said, almost whispered, as she took the cup of tea.

The lovely fragrance of the jasmine tea was soothing and when she took a sip of it a small and cute gasp of surprise came from her. She had never tasted jasmine tea before. She didn’t know why, the situation just never arose. But the taste was so flattering to her tongue, so light and sweet. If Carter had ordered jasmine tea to help her relax or if it was just coincidence, because he liked it, it worked on Hanako. Her shoulders were visibly less tense after she took a few more sips.

‘Why have I never tried jasmine tea before?’ she thought to herself.

“I...I am really...really sorry. I was way out of line.” she said to Carter aloud. He could hear it was hard for her to admit it but at the same time there was no doubt it was absolutely honest.

“You know...I wasn’t lying, when I said that my life is nothing but darkness. Most of it, anyways. And I mean it literally. When I think back about my past...there’s nothing.”

She shrugged and her smile was rather forced.

“It is something like an open secret, at least it was at the academy. No one talks about it, but a lot of people know about it. The girl with no past.”

She went silent for a few seconds before she talked again.

“Even my name is not my name. I got it from the doctors that cared for me in the hospital. My earliest memory is waking up in a bed, staring at a white ceiling, a nurse looking down at me.”

While she spoke her next words, she made a vague gesture to her head and held her right arm before her, so that Carter could see it and touch it, if he liked. The arm looked no different than the other.

“They told me I was pretty badly injured, when they found me limping towards the gates of Seireitei. See this arm? It’s a prosthetic. The injuries there were so severe that it could not be saved. But I don’t remember anything about that. Everything before the hospital...It is all...simply a black void.”

She shook her head and closed her eyes as an unwanted wave of emotions threatened to wash over her yet again. But the wave was smaller than before and her mind still too exhausted from her breakdown, so she managed it surprisingly easy to keep it at bay.

Hanako sat quiet for a while and tried to loose herself in the smell and taste of the tea, which she spontaneously had fallen in love with. Of course that didn’t work. Now that everything was out in the open, she couldn’t push it away so easily anymore. Why did she tell all this to Carter in the first place? When had they become friends? Well, you could say that someone who takes a punch from you and watches you break down crying without abandoning you could be considered a friend. Someone who stands at your side, even through the darkest of times. But then again, how would Hanako know? She had some acquaintances, but no real friends. Not until now. The thought felt strange. Even stranger than the fact that Hana was actually starting to feel honestly comfortable in the presence of another soul. It wasn’t much, yet, but a real change had happened.

“What was that about sake?” she said and tried another smile. It was still faint, but not so forced anymore.

(788)