A Lot in Common [Private/Yushiro]

"I... don't know yet. I'm still figuring things out."

Keiko only had that much to offer to his first statement. Afterwards, while he continued talking, Keiko sat and listened intently, trying to both think on the things he was saying, and deep down perhaps finding something to redeem him and the Shihouin to herself. Deep down. In the meanwhile, she was also taking the time to bask in the sun she hadn't seen for many days and night. Maybe it was just a Shihouin thing--enjoying the feel of the sun on your skin.

When he said that the Shihouin were a family, she had doubts. As a whole, she didn't believe him at all. Family was sacred to Keiko, and most interestingly enough, the people she didn't mind from the Shihouin family were ones that felt ostracised from the family. That felt they didn't belong, and desperately tried to belong. One of them felt like they've still had to wear a face to pretend that what they had was family. The other, it seemed like they were doomed to never be with their family again. The Shihouin, to Keiko, sounded more like just a mere title than anything else.

She did find the note about the Clan Head interesting. She was already aware of how he nearly had Rukia executed, largely in part of his own responsibility, but nobody ever really phrased that event as having "forgotten himself in the efforts to be a Kuchiki and a Captain". It made Keiko think--how often did she forget to be herself while trying to be a Kuchiki? She talked about something along those lines to Kokoro, encouraging her to be herself and not just a Shihouin.

And then, she recalled her time with Takehiko. At the time when he was about to report to the Captain Commander about the situation regarding her potential inner hollow, when she begged him not to... he listened. For all that she did to him, the way she treated him, Takehiko prioritised her. Even at the cost of the family. Was that why Byakuya gave Takehiko so many breaks? Was that the right way to go about things? It seemed... more familial, to do so. But, it was unethical, and on that basis not something Keiko could agree with. Then, what was the appropriate response--to banish him like Yushiro banished Yugiri? What was correct answer to the situation? That was a question that always seemed like Keiko would get an answer to by virrtue of just growing up. Something that she'd come to automatically learn, but things didn't seem like they'd be that easy when she did grow up.

All these thoughts were going through Keiko's head, and all of them came to a stop when she heard the voice that she did. Keiko stiffened--froze all over, in fact. A wave of fear overcame her, such that the negative energy of the entity within her--the thing Takehiko said was a hollow--flared out for a brief moment. The type of energy it exuded was extremely similar to the energy that Yugiri emitted.

It took Keiko a moment to be even capable of calming herself. The only thing that really brought her back down to reality was Yamamoto's hand on her shoulder, reassuring her.

"I... I don't know if I can accept this arrangement. I... I'm... I don't...."

Keiko's mouth bounced up and down, constantly trying to say something while she constantly ended up saying nothing."

"I... understand, Yushiro-sama."

It was a grueling demand, but Keiko understood that this was non-negotiable. Did Yushiro already talk to Byakuya or the Elders about this? Was the servitude already arranged? Keiko grappled her elbow with her other hand hard. This wasn't just a level of discomfort that was physical. The entity within her was practically shrieking in her ears, and without her ears she was totally noncommunicable. No eyes, no ears, it was difficult to stay oriented on the subject. She at least managed to hear the last thing he said, and in this disorientation, Keiko couldn't help but blurt out the first thought that came to mind.

"Did you at all wish to be in my life, or regret not having been in it?"

The entirety of this conversation so far had felt like Keiko was only being lectured. She realised that at no point had he ever said anything in regards to being her grandfather, or, well... acknowledging her as family. Not really. No acknowledgement of his role and responsibility--or rather lack thereof-- in her life. Was she that unimportant?

Yes... He did. What was this? This... pressure on the chest. Were ribs acting up? No, Takehiko healed those definitively. It wasn't just a pressure. It was a warmth. And that warmth and pressure rose to her neck, something caught in her throat. The heat started building up in her eyes and fingers--were they bleeding again? Not a single thing was said by the inner entity. It was the quietest it had ever been. There was a clarity to her mind, the deafening howls and shrieking were totally gone.

"I-I see..."

It felt like she had to force her vocal chords to vibrate so that she could speak those words. In between, her nose felt irritated, and she sniffled. Keiko's voice was wavy, seemingly uncertain and weak in its presence. If you just felt her spiritual, you'd think Keiko was just a small injured kitten.

"Are you sure? That people would be fine with me? Wouldn't... wouldn't a new face out of the blue be a burden to everyone?"

She didn't say it, but that was something she heard from Kagemori, her mother's husband, quite often. That the reason Yoshimaru, her real father, fled was to avoid the burden. She projected that understanding on all of the Shihouin, and that impression birthed her resentment towards them. If they didn't want her, she wasn't going to want them either. But, it seemed like Yushiro was saying that wasn't the case.

The warmth in her eyes turned to a burning sensation, and the bandages over her eyes started getting humid.

Damn... she couldn't really deny it anymore. The moisture in her eyes, the catch in her throat... Once Yushiro reassured her, the walls in her heart started breaking down. Tears started rolling down her cheek once they over-saturated the bandages over her eyes. She didn't even try to pretend anymore, and the catch in her throat couldn't be swallowed by now. Keiko's mouth spread out, it almost looked like she was in pain, when it was just a really ugly cry.

"Y-yes, of course... of course, Papa. Thank you."

Keiko didn't just let Yushiro hold her hand; the girl grasped his larger hand with both of hers, squeezing tight as if letting go meant he was gone.

Keiko could only nod to his words repetitively and squeeze his hand tight until he made his departure. Once he left, the girl finally felt like she had room to breath, and the tension of the whole affair was released, leaving her fairly tired. She spent a bit more time letting the tears out and allowing her body to finally relax.

"Okay... I'm okay now. Let's go home now, Yamamoto. Thank you to everyone here for hosting us."

Keiko did a small bow to the table as a means to bowing to everyone, then let Yamamoto wheel her away. She was a bit excited for tomorrow, where she intended to come visit the Shihouin house and meet up with her grandfather. Hopefully, he'd be pleased to see her come by so soon.