Owl's 30 Day Tracker [Feb 2019]

Awakening in Hell and traverse into Earth

Falling. That was the most recurring dream and nightmare she ever had. It was almost as if she had lived it before, and seen it before her current days.

”Get up!” yelled the third seat, ”Get up dammit, we have wounded men up front!”

It took her a good second to let the words sink in and consider her choices. The girl, youthful in appearance but as dirty as the ground beneath her had to act fast. She gained her footing by pressing against a leg that had been blown off by her. Trying to get up meant pushing away the Shinigami corpse that had made her collapse to begin with. With dirt and dust on her face, wiping seemed to do little more than further ruin what was likely an originally pristine and well kept visage.

”I’m coming!” she yelled out over the screams and the cries, ”Don’t you die on me sir.”

So was the life during the times of war. It never changed. In some way, conflict had always managed to find its way into Dalia’s life, whether she sought it out or not. The girl knew how to avoid it, and often did her best to do so. However duties, other’s dependency on her or sheer luck seemed to deal her a different hand. Her first memories all involved falling into something or away from something. First it was dark and red waters that burned until they no longer burned. Then it was earth and fire, and blood until he found her and helped her. She knew she needed to keep falling until she landed somewhere she belonged. And while times were tough, specially during the war, it looked like perhaps she was getting closer with the Shinigami.

The end is nigh, said a slithering whisper in her mind as she tended to the wounded, the end of this.

Intermission

That voice was no longer a stranger but rather an unwelcome guest she had learned to accept. She still remembered the very first times she heard it. She was sitting alone in a rocky area, away from all the Demons. They all looked scary, and didn’t approach her. The few who did ran the other way as fast as they could as soon as they were within spitting distance. For the longest time she thought that maybe she looked really ugly from their point of view, but that wasn’t it. Sometimes she would wake up to see Demons running from her vicinity, and sometimes she would wake up to find bodies around her, blood on her skin that wasn’t her, and a thrilling sense of urgency that frightened her.

Do they really need to live? asked the voice in the little girl’s head as she huddled in a corner, wishing that would make it stop.

They keep running away from you. Wouldn’t it be better to put them out of their misery?

Wouldn’t be better to put them out of their misery? This time the voice shook her awake into a state of mind where she was more in control. The view wasn’t that of the rocky and estranged past but of the stark present she was in. She was eyeing the wounded Shinigami in her arms… Had the voice had its way. Dalia would have let them die or finish the job if it took too long, just like she did against Demons that scared her or that ran away from her scared...sometimes. Unlike in the past, the voice that came to be called Dark Dalia did not win every fight and every argument she joined. Perhaps it was in part due to the number of Shinigami around her who needed help, though she attributed that changed and progress to one man: Sunshine.

Intermission

The more time Dalia spent on the strange, hot, and rocky world the more attention she brought to herself. The nature of her energy and the killings she committed under the influence of Dark Dalia would not go unpunished, and would certainly not be forgotten. It was among one of those crucial moments that a seemingly unknown but eager samaritan lent the girl a hand in a way no one had before. The boy could traverse into and out of that wretched place, but more importantly, he offered her, a nobody, the means to escape somewhere better; she certainly did.

The boy, Sunshine, explained he could feel her energy for ways out. He said it called to her, and clamored for help, so he offered. It was the sort of kindness Dalia had not been shown before, so she couldn’t help but be thankful of her benefactor. Sunshine offered her a home. He offered her food, a place to rest, as well as the necessary training so that she could defend herself in the future. He even offered her an asauchi from a fallen new Shinigami he claimed to have encountered. He believed she was most like a Shinigami, a term he had to explain along with many others in the natural order of things. Little did either of them knew the effect that blade and what would come from it would have on the impressionable girl.

”This time I ran faster than yesterday,” she told her blade as she laid in bed.

”He’s kind of cute, don’t you think?”

Her blade was the very first possession she had ever owned, and the very first gift she was ever given. Now, naturally blades did not speak back, but Sunshine told her this was an Asauchi. If she got familiar with it enough, then perhaps she would get to meet someone really special and close to her. The realization she had someone that could be close to her, that could care for her, listen to her and love her was all the encouragement she needed. The young woman would speak to the blade before bed, in the morning, and during meditation to try and get closer to it. It took what seemed like several months, likely more, before she finally heard the voice speak from the blade and back to her. From there conversations happened a bit more often as time went by. Things were better.

”Watch out!” cried out a voice, shaking Dalia off her remembrance and into the present. She would be presented with the sight of one of her wounded companions being impaled by a lance that was meant for her.

Intermission

”Stitch them together, Okinu! as her zanpakuto changed, Dalia rushed in, trying to push back and away the forces threatening her wounded companions.

It wasn’t all that different than how she trained with Sunshine after learning her zanpakuto’s name. He was fair and kind to her, but he was also strict and ruthless in battle, and she enjoyed that. He acted that way because he cared about her and her survival. Unlike other Shinigami he had met, Dalia lacked a number of skills they likely considered basic and imperative. She couldn’t perform kido. Although it didn’t come as surprise to her, Sunshine revealed she was obviously part Demon, though she couldn’t really use za koa either. It seemed she was not only an anomaly, but a sort of broken product that didn’t amount to much in the world of the Shinigami or in the world of the Demons. She could only assume that contributed to the reasons her parents left her, for who would want a broken child. But alas, she still had Sunshine and Okinu.

He honed in on her training so that she could improve her speed, her reaction time, and the skill with her zanpakuto and its abilities; but there was much more. For the longest time she had been able to sense far more than just his energy. There was a hunger that didn’t fit the kind one would experience when devoid of food, or the lust that overflowed when in lack of mating. It was something else. It seemed as though he expected more, and wanted more out of the girl. For a long time she figured that was as much as she could muster, but her friend thought better, and he was right.

During one of their many training sessions, the hybrid Sunshine had pushed her to the edge once again. The more she had to run and exert herself, and the more enthralled into the battle she became, the more Dark Dalia and her words began to echo in the girl’s mind. The more she allowed herself to be lost into the desire and will to fight, and the more she enjoyed it, the easier it became for the darkness inside to take the wheel and drive on in control, and so it was. It took only a kick to send Dalia threw several walls while she was attempting to craft a technique. What rose from the rubble was the very same girl in looks alone, but she displayed an aura that was as different as night and day, and with a killer intent that was certainly unrecognizable from the way she had behave thus far.

Intermission

”Shut it…” said the voice no longer echoing on her head but being spoken outright.

”Shut it,” she said one more time to the Demon, far louder this time.

That was the very first time Dalia remembered truly fighting against the power of the one inside her mind, and truly losing and surrendering control to it. There was no feeling. She wasn’t put to sleep, and she was certainly aware of everything that happened. Instead it was as if the innocent girl was handed a seat with a perfect view to see what happened. She also had her will and ability to feel remorse, guilt or disgust at anything that happened that would have brought on those emotions in the first place. In the end, Dalia learned that the other her wasn’t exactly a different entity or even a split personality as some seemed to describe it. All of her was pretty much that; her. The sides of her were simply attributed to the contrasting duality of whomever her parents were, the identities of whom Sunshine claimed not to know. He said he understood her best, being as unique as she was in being part Demon and part Shinigami. From thereon the girl was able to more freely control her own emotions. She was able to let the darker side of her out when needed, but only gradually with the intent to protect. However, overarching darkness wasn’t so easily destroyed by a simple ray of light. It wasn’t clear now how long the girl had been thinking of the past, but further cries and screams brought her back into the present.

”Ma’am the wounded are tended to,” said one of the Shinigami as a few of their teammates were carried out back for further attention.

”It's only a matter of time before we ready and push o-.” he added before blinding light and blasts drowned out most of the voices and the breaths in the direct vicinity.

At its wake Dalia found herself surrounded by far more corpses of her teammates. Both the wounded she had tended to, and those that had been rallying others to fight had been struck asunder. Further ahead, a group of malicious entities snickered and rushed towards her, likely with the intent of finishing off whomever had survived the onslaught. Rather than feel fear or nervousness the girl felt anger and hate. Everyone she had healed had been killed. People that were eager to fight for themselves and their friends and love ones had their lives snuffed out in an instant. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!

Intermission

”Shut it…” said the voice in her head just as the same words were heard out her lips.

”Shut it,” she repeated louder this time towards her enemies to make sure they could hear her.

Rather than respond, the foes simply pushed on with blades and claws to take a swing at the girl. In her vicinity first came the darkness. Before darkness completely swallowed up the place the vestige of ropes, chains, boxes, strings, and even body parts seemed to create the silhouette that eluded to something that wasn’t very Shinigami-like; certainly something that wasn’t known to her peers as being very Dalia-like. Trickling blood, screams, and cries quickly followed as the bodies of her enemies now laid neatly above that of her fallen peers. Some were intact, some were dismembered, and some were rearranged in assortments more fitted of a compulsive psychopath.

”Shut it off!” she yelled grabbing at the sides of her head despite having no more enemies in her vicinity.

”What the hell Dalia?” asked one of her wounded companions that had survived.

”What the hell was that, and who are you talking to?”

”It's just too loud…” whispered Dalia before turning to her companion.

”Your heart would look best when it's silent. Watch.”

The same scene played out once more. This time the entanglement and the coffins targeted some of her allies, and Dalia was powerless and unable to put a stop to it until it was too late. By the time she came to she had killed a number of her people, and had injured almost as many Shinigami as she had her Demonic foes. The sight of what she had done scared her, and the way the survivors looked at her burned through her very core. She could see it in their eyes, and she could hear it in the tone and the content of their words. She was a traitor, and a murdered. She was thought to be a mole for the Demons all along, and it was called for her head as a way to repay and make up for the damage she had caused. There was no valid excuse that would set things right; she had to run, and she had to run fast.

Intermission

Sunshine had been right all along. Even in the present she couldn’t forget all the times he tried to convince her not to join the Gotei. If she thought about it enough, she could probably remember every reason. While it was true that Dalia was in large part a Shinigami, she was also a Danava; a Demon. It didn’t explain just yet who either of her parents were, but her friend had made it obvious fitting in would be a tall task. Despite her well meaning desires to contribute in a positive way to the side of her that seemed more bening, it backfired. She was as much Demon as she was a Shinigami, and she couldn’t succeed in silencing a side of her without silencing her identity and sense of self as a whole.

Still, even as she left she couldn’t help but remember what it was like to join for the very first time, or even some of the reasons that led her to truly do so in the first place. The more time she spent with Sunshine the more she learned about what she was, and where she had been. Hell was a dangerous place, even for the child that possessed as much untamed power as she did. It did however offered some insight as to the level of skill or energies her parents likely commanded. More importantly, it had helped her to see just how treacherous and how dangerous the world of the Demons was. On the other hand, the Gotei seemed like a far brighter and hopeful place by comparison. Although Sunshine was half Danava and Shinigami as she was, he seemed to lean far more on his demonic side while she seemed to try for the opposite.

On the other hand, Okinu seemed to be largely indifferent. He wanted only what Dalia saw as best for her future, whether that was the Demon or the Shinigami. He only wanted her to be safe and happy, so he didn’t go against her wishes to seek the Shinigami out. Leaving Sunshine and his personal plane of existence felt both right and wrong. By then she was already explained that his domain did not work the same way as the real world did, in fact it was far more similar to the level of Hell he had pulled her out of in her infancy. Essentially time passed much faster within in comparison to the outside, allowing those housed in its confines to age more years than they would have otherwise. To Sunshine’s help the girl attributed everything she had learned, and everything she had become. From getting her zanpakuto to obtaining her shikai, to understanding the concept of her Danava heritage, and the nature of the voices in her head.

Alas, there were also other things she was thankful to him more, and they were mostly things she never told him; things she figured she never would. He had taken her in, seemingly for no reason other than because she was like him[i], because she was just [i]similar to him. He fed her and trained her, essentially raised her into a young woman. In that time he had essentially become her best friend, and likely her only friend if she didn’t count her zanpakuto spirit Okinu and her Danava eternal partner Anubis. Sunshine was to her like the brother she never had, but at the same time she had begun to develop feelings she knew she couldn’t pursue. There was nothing to blame on it but the fact that he had been so helpful, and practically among the very first and few seemingly sane people she had met. Perhaps leaving and joining the Gotei would also give her the space to forget or rather rethink matters into something where he made more sense.

Intermission

Strangely enough, Sunshine didn’t put up much of a fight after that to get her to stop. It seemed he truly cared about her and simply wanted her to experience and enjoy what she thought she needed. It didn’t occur to her then that just over a year later she would be running away from the Gotei with the same desperation and anxiety that she had run towards it in the first place. Upon her arrival, the girl was seen with a bit of contempt, to no fault to those present. It was obvious she was part Shinigami, and part something else that closely resembled a Demon. It was something rare, and certainly not applauded. It invited far too much concern and calculated supervision though it wasn’t the first time. Albeit not exactly the same in most regards, Henrex, one of the Captain in the organization had a dilemma that wasn’t too far removed from her own. It made sense she was placed in his Division and under his tutelage. He had the skills to lead and set her straight, and take action to correct her if need be.

From day one Dalia had proven herself to be a capable fighter thanks to Sunshine, whose name she had purposely omitted. There was no need to mention something that could only get him and her in trouble. There was another piece of information she very clearly chose to omit: her control over Death Energy. Perhaps even more fascinating to the hybrid that helped her grow, was just how attuned she was for the power. He explained that very few possessed the gift of accessing it, and even fewer still had the means to tap into the power and potential she had demonstrated so far. He said it indicated she had a very strong connection to the Demon God, the likes of which very few in the verse could lay claim to. Dalia never understood why, but she simply assumed that in order to do so, her parents likely had some form of very strong connection too. Little did she know that her mother had essentially once been the heart of the Demon God, with one of the strongest connections to it. Still, it was clear that with the implications such an energy had, it was best to keep her dominion over it under veils for the time being.

In the stealth division, the girl seemed to thrive. She was short and nimble, and her previous training made her a near perfect fit for the duties she had. Under Henrex’s tutelage and that of the Lieutenant and seated officers she was able to further polish some of her more Shinigami-centric skills. More importantly she was finally able to be part of a larger team and learn to function as one. From the very start there was in increase in doubt since Dalia managed to, seemingly, unlock her Bankai relatively quick. A few were quick to pass it off as a sign of great talent and potential, but many knew better. The most likely explanation was that Dalia had already achieved her bankai before joining them, or at the very least gone so far as to practically have it. When she had first joined the girl had made it seem or appear as though Shikai was as far as she had gotten on her own. Some thought she had no reason to lie, but a few believed that if she did, perhaps it was because she harbored knowledge she knew could destroy her or them. Nonetheless, with no solid proof other than rumors and hunches, no judgement was cast though a watchful eye was always kept on her.

Intermission

From that time on the girl would prove her worth. She did every mission nearly impeccable, and even volunteered for ones she was not required to undertake. She was amon the first to join combat and among the last ones to leave. More than once she had placed her own well being in jeopardy for the sake of saving or rescuing her teammates. In time she was starting to be trusted and well liked, and she enjoyed that. It only made things far more difficult when her own actions during the war against Shadow Fall brought down all the work she had done to get there. As she sped and ran from the sight of the battle, Dalia couldn’t help but line up the important events in her life and find a way to lay fault and cause to every one of them in a way that traced back to her.

Up first were her parents. It wasn’t clear which was the Demon and which was the Shinigami, but it was already obvious they were both extremely powerful. One of the supposedly possessed a connection to Death and its energy unlike the very few in the realm, and that gift had in some way been inherited by the girl. Why then would parents abandon a child? She was broken or malfunctioning, she thought. Something was wrong with her. Even most Demons during her time in Hell fled from her when they got close enough to understand and recognize the patterns of her spiritual power. Dalia was offered friendship and kinship from a complete stranger in Sunshine. He had taught her and welcomed her like a sister, and she willfully chose to walk away from him. Why? She was too selfish in her inner desires to be more to him. She was too selfish thinking she could belong to something nicer than Demons, but the side of her that longed for that sort of thing had a different idea. Even after she was accepted and trusted in the Gotei she had found a way to fuck it up. She had found the means of undoing all her work and sending her running with no foreseeable future in sight, and no set destination ahead.

As it was, the girl had a number of things perfectly clear. She couldn’t just go back to the Seireitei. Some people might forgive her but most wouldn’t. She certainly could not forgive herself for what she had done. She couldn’t just go back to Sunshine either. He would welcome her with open arms no doubt, but after walking out on him she felt it would be like a slap on the face. There was always the possibility of Shadow Fall, though that was an avenue she would have rather not traverse unless she had absolutely no choice. It wasn’t even because she had aided in waging war against it, but rather due to the fear of what she’d find if she did. Sunshine never quite showed any proof, but she always knew deep down he was affiliated with them. Overall she feared that sooner or later going to them would mean finding her mother who clearly had not meant or intended to find her girl first. Despite being a dream and lofty goal of hers, the prospect of it scared her. She wasn’t sure whether she’d be more afraid to find out both her parents had died, or to find out they indeed lived.

Intermission