Deeper In The Dream [Calypso/Dev Thread]

[LillianVeteran Member]

Can stay here as long as I wish, huh..?

Calypso had just parted from the goddess a mere hour ago, though she already felt a little unsafe, despite all the smiling, peaceful faces around her. Though it was mostly her own internal worries boiling within her that was eating at her. But... She was in a safe place, Khala had no reason to lie... There was no wreason to still be upset... So why was she..?

Maybe I just need some rest...

She went by some Khalaists, asking if there was somewhere she could use to sleep, in which some obliged and walked the newcomer to a place of rest. They walked along a path to a place she had no idea to get to, though was more enamored by the place around them. She couldn't help but cry with how beautiful everything was with the added touch of a somewhat golden shimmer and sense of togetherness, she couldn't even stop herself from crying her usually faucet-like tears; Would she ever have a use for them aside from showing her crybaby-ness? Who knows. Though they arrived in what appeared to be a place with general bedding, where she saw several others, but not many were sleeping at the moment. It stopped mattering to Calypso how many were around her, or what they could do to her, as soon as her head hit the pillow, her extraordinary ability to knock out in mere seconds coming into effect.

She emerged in her Conceptual World once again, like many nights, however she had an actual reason to be in here, for once, aside from chance. She was running with the idea that she was holding herself back, the idea that fear was controlling her... She just had to release herself, right? Release the things she held under wraps... But... Where could she have kept those?

She traveled through the mist-swept woods, the gentle shine of the moon hanging overhead giving her a kind sense of safety as she searched, but found nothing that would indicate something sealed up in there. She traveled to the shimmering mountain's peaks, looking over the sea of darkness and eyes, and cried out,

"Did I seal up something in there?!"

No response.

"..Oh... I forgot... I can't hear any of you.." Her eyes fluttered down, a crestfallen look on her face, "..Sorry, I'll try to fix that soon, I-I promise... I really promise..."

She slid down, off the mountain, popping back up onto her feet. Where is the one place she wouldn't check? Where was it..?
Rather upset, she walked to the small pavilion at the center of her world, sitting down and groaning. What was she missing? Would she even find it? Was there even a point to releasing it..? She could open up that well of potential and.. Become...

"..Mmmm! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" She slapped her cheeks hard, yelling to herself. This was not the time to get frozen and scared. No what ifs! Only is or isn't!
The little demon almost jumped when she heard a splash behind her, turning to see one of the golden fish leap from the waves, crashing back into the murky depths. Of course, she was surprised; none of the fish had ever jumped out of the pool, especially not so high. It's as if...

"..The Moon Pool thingy..." She whispered to herself. She didn't think, she simply acted. It was as if her immaterial body cried out to what the water had to offer. She climbed atop one of the pavilion's fences, and leaped into the dark waves.
Her senses came to her, and thus she looked around, now obviously panicked that she did something as stupid as thoughtlessly jump into water. She was going to swim back up, but something faint and shimmering caught her eye, deep in the darkness, which only compelled her to go down. It was like a part of her she didn't know existed wished to reunite...

Of course, before she could even go down a knot, she lost her breath and began choking on the water, which frightened her into the waking world. She sprung to sit up, holding her chest and coughing gently. Some concern gazes came her way, in which she awkwardly tipped her head and waved nervously to indicate she was fine. When they went back to their business, Cali only took this as something to try again, in which she did, going back to slumber, trying to dive back in, but getting the same result of choking on water and waking back up.

Again and again she tried, the futile attempt at submerging the dive feeling to get shorter and shorter, until she was finally frustrated.
"Ghhh! This is just an act of madness..!" She mumbled to herself, gripping her hair, and overall feeling like crap. There was a great length between her and the depths... But she keeps screwing it up! She keeps... Being...

A realization dawned on her colorful eyes, them widening, "...I'm making myself lose focus.." She breathed, her fists tightening at this revelation. She couldn't focus... Was that why..? Had to be. Her loss of focus caused her to bounce out of it... Her own shortcomings were preventing her...

"Is there somewhere quiet with water here? I want to try to meditate.."

She was brought to a place with a small pool, and a rather decent level of silence, now being left to her own devices. She waded into the pool, stretching her arms out in a T formation. She had seen this type of floating on a TV program once, but she never thought she'd be using something she initially thought as silly to do something this important to her self. Though she felt fear of sinking, of drowning, she tried to blot it out, ignore it, and splashed backwards a bit too fast, which did make her panic beneath the surface.

She forgot her footing, feet kicking helplessly under the water, fear rolling through her silenced body as she held her breath. Though she didn't realize, her struggling is what kept her from the surface. She felt sleepy, being under so long, her body ceasing it's struggle. Was it the sensation of drowning that made her go to sleep, or the understanding, though..?

Regardless of the answer, she awoke once more in her Conceptual World, except... She was within darkness, bubbles floating around her. Flecks of gold and other sparkly bits floated in the dark space around her, faintly shimmering plants featuring in one space or another. Golden fish of many sizes and shapes swam around her, seeming to possess stars within their eyes. Everything felt warm, and calm, and quiet.. She almost wanted to sleep forever...

What am I doing...? I gotta... Get down...

She could hardly feel her body, it was like her will wasn't enough to move herself down. She looked around, a drowsy gaze rolling over to a stray fish.

Hey... Could you help me get down...? I'm really sleepy...

'No, no I cannot. I did not bring you down. This is your fault. Deal with it yourself.'

Calypso could only squint at the rather rude fish, but she supposed it had some sense. She got herself into this position, she should carry it out... Right? She faced towards the glimmering at the bottom, and tried to force her body towards it, though it still refused to move. She had to stay focused, or she would be kicked out again, right..? But... Why was she kicked out? Why did she get booted every time she swam in something in her own world?

...I'm doing this to myself... My fear... Runs this deep..?

Normally Calypso would try to brute force it. Normally she should get angry and start badgering herself. But right now, she couldn't help but just... Drop like a rock from the clarity. Indeed she did, sinking down, further thinking about it. She forced herself to think, yes, but her mind went, unable to react out of anger or sadness, as she sank to the bottom much like a prisoner condemned to drowning, however her situation was the inverse; She was a trapped being using the bottom to free herself.

It felt like a long time as she sank in the darkness, shutting her eyes, the coursing of the water almost sounding like singing, very gentle singing, not unlike a lullaby. She kept herself alert enough to her surroundings, but relaxed enough to allow herself to sink.

Soon, she touched the bottom.

She couldn't see what she was on top of, she couldn't sense it, all she knew was that it was something bright, and large. One of her hands acted without her knowledge, touching this object, gripping onto something. However, something grasped her wrist.

'Please don't open it.' A small voice whispered into her ear, 'We'll become a monster...'

That won't happen.

'How can you know? Just look at our family, just look at Mana... They let their power rip loose and..!'

I'll make sure it doesn't happen.

It felt like Calypso wasn't even herself at the moment, whatever words she was speaking came from her, but it didn't feel like her. It felt like something else... Similar, but different. She couldn't even tell what was happening.

'How can a weak thing like us prevent a curse marked upon us at birth?!'

Something oozed from her eyes: tears?

"I will not allow us to succumb to the insanity and suffering of our family...! Let me let it loose, even a bit..!"

Whatever was grasping her wrist released, '..Only a little. Please... Not all of it... Not all at once...'

..I'll only release a manageable percent...

'I don't like it but.. Thank you.'

She felt her fingers dig into whatever she was on top of, pulling it open, everything fading to white...

Returning to the material plain, she slowly moved herself to sit up in the water, having somehow come to a gentle float on the surface, in which she looked down, at her own reflection.

"...Well that's new."