What doesn't kill you... Wasn't trying hard enough. [Mirja/Ceal]

While it was true that Ceal “did” want to go with Tsu, it was not for the reasons Tsu had said this trip would be for. No, if she went it was to further her learning of Tai Chi, learn and understand her Dantian, and learn about all of this as a whole. It was not for any of the other deprecating reasons, and because of this, she had to look Tsu in the eyes, her vision slowly coming back in a blurry mess.

”...Mirja did?” Ceal asked, her voice soft and full of curious wonder, Ceal's intrigue burning within her, ”I won't lie... I do fear choice, and I would rather have someone choose for me, but I don't want to be wholly unfeeling or unthinking. While it's true I like control taken from me, I don't want my feelings taken too... at least, not like this.” As she spoke, she grasped at her chest a familiar burning welling up inside of her that happened whenever she thought of Mirja, whenever she thought of that wonderful wolf and how she felt about her. It made her smile, as if thinking of a distant memory. ”No, I've decided Madam Tsu. I will not go with you, I will listen to Mirja's feelings and then I will tell her my choice. I will make my own decisions and finally get the stubborn Wolf to really accept me.”

Once again, Ceal bowed low to the imposing woman. ”However, I do not wish for this to be the last time I see you, Ci Lan Tsu, I still have training to do,”

With that, Ceal walked off, almost bumping into a wall as her blurred vision was sluggish to come out. Still, she would make it to the room that she had supposedly went into, feeling suddenly dizzy as she took a moment to sit down on her knees. She would be before the Wolf, but she wouldn't simply be the prey.

”Y-You've got some nerve, Wolf,” She started, trying to sound stern but failing as she stuttered. ”Saying all of these terrible things, going on as if I'm nothing to you.. Though they hurt, though I feel like I could cry at any moment, I know that... Well, I know that I'm stronger than that. I'm stronger because I know you don't really feel that way” Ceal was terrible at these long speeches of feelings, she could never quite seem to convey her emotions right in times like these, it always comes out wrong.

”...But I want you to know that this is the choice that 'I' made! To be here, to do this, to train in Tai Chi, these were all things that 'I' wanted to do. Sure.. you may have influenced me, but isn't that natural, because I love you? And.. and I know that I might be too clingy and I'm sorry for that, I know that I might force the brunt of decision onto you and I didn't realize just how that made you feel... if you want me to be the one making choices sometimes.. well, I can definitely do that, There are a great many... many things I'd wanna do with you, too! And that's not just because you told me to, but because I wanted to! ….M-Maybe I am a bit obsessed, but isn't that natural? Is it not a human thing? Perhaps I do think a little weirdly, in how I obtain value from others, but that value then becomes my value, too! Th-This is all probably coming out terribly wrong but.. but I don't know how else to say it. But, if you want me to fight for something that I myself believe in then I will, in-in fact, I would have done it even if you didn't tell me too, because I've already found that something! Maybe I am broken and flawed, but I still have my own goals and beliefs, I still have what makes me... me~”

She was trying to keep herself at a normal human level vocally, but anyone around could tell the strain on her voice was harsh, she was barely containing her feelings after the outburst in the door way, how could she not? This had all came to her so quickly and stunned her so completely that only now was she reeling in the depression caused by it.

”...This is probably the stage of depression where it's called Bargaining, isn't it?”