Recovery [JJ/ASK TO JOIN ONLY]

"...You probably shouldn't stand yet… but if you are, you could at least say hi..." The man in the bed next to Henrex said, staring at the wall in front of him without any kind of reaction. "You don't get that many chances to rest…" The Captain of the Stealth Squad explained to his new squad member, his subordinate.

On Kuro's body, where the slashes and burns lay around his body, having pierced his clothing… a strange gray mass lay around his wounds. The mass bubbled in each place, covering the wound. Kuro turned to look at his younger friend."Haha… I guess I'm a bit of a monster, huh?" He asked… as a very small smile went onto Kuro's face. It… hurt to smile, but he did it. A flash of life passed by his gaze as he acted jovially, a small flash of the man who Kuro Okami once was… and possibly could be once again.

"...My body can't heal normally." He explained, his black arm raising in front of him as he looked at his palm. "I'm a bit similar to it in that regard, I guess…" He spoke hollowly, before his expressionless face turned to look at Henrex once again. "I keep telling them not to heal me this way… but they don't like to listen. Think they can heal anything… like playing god, they do. Sometimes… you have to heal by yourself, by making… your body better." He explained, before slowly rising from the bed, his muscles twitching as he grit his teeth together. The pain was not what was inhibiting him; it was simply his body's reaction to the damages which he had sustained. The fact of the matter was, Kuro's body was not that… strong. While he was still a captain, the lack of care in his survival had left his body both strong and weak.

Overall, it made it harder for his body to want to recover.

Up to this point in his life, Kuro had been a man seeking death. Throwing himself into countless battlefields, in the midst of war, where the fighting is heaviest… but at the same time, he would not allow himself to simply die. He wondered if that had changed with his encounter with this young man. "Come… on." He said, raising himself up out of the bed.

As he did so, the gray masses on his body fell away, revealing his wounds where strange gray energy was flowing around them. "We're… going to visit… somewhere I know…" He told Henrex, reaching his hand towards his body as the shadows beneath his bed formed coverings, wrapping his wounds with them. "...I'm going to change into something else…" The male muttered, before pulling the top of his gi off completely. In only his undershirt and combat pants now, he drew a line along both sides of his face. From the shadows on either side, a black hoodie formed around his torso. Reaching his hands into both pockets, he began to walk out the door.

"...Get used to the pain… it will hurt you, but it cannot break you. Only you can decide when that happens… Now follow me… we have somewhere to go…"

With that explanation, Kuro and Henrex would leave the infirmary, Kuro's Captain's Gi laying on the ground of the ward. They would begin to move towards a special place… the area where the Central 46 had once stood, a place regarded as cursed or holy ground…

And the tomb of Kuro's first Captain.

The Shinigami captain had not quite expected to be embraced by his subordinate. However, he did not seem to be entirely uncomfortable with the concept, reaching a hand down and gently patting Henrex's head. "I'm alright." He said, a touch of the hollowness fading as the two withdrew from one another. It had been… a very long time since Kuro had been able to someone else. Since someone else had cared that he was alright. In a way, that may have been what lead to Kuro's self-isolation. ..

"Of course. That's my job." Kuro told him in reply, blinking slightly. "The Captian stays standing. If he falls, then what hope does his squad have…?" Kuro asked, his gaze slightly downcast. Indeed… Kuro had seen several of his own superiors dealt with in a similar manner. In many ways, Kuro had failed that maxim himself, running from his problems. Have I shamed them…? Probably…

Kuro heard each of Henrex's words. After all, catching and observing information, auditory or otherwise, was Kuro's job. This was what he was trained to do. "Take one of.. These." Kuro instructed his subordinate, picking up a nearby broom and passing it to Henrex, along with its dustpan. Kuro grabbed the same. This was the first job that the Shinigami had when he had entered Seireitei; he had been a no-seat Janitor. It was a job that needed to get done, but there was one area which never received it.

"Henrex. This is… where my Captain, Jenna Jade-Waters, is buried. This is where the first person… to trust me with a job bigger than myself now lies." Kuro explained, gently placing the broom down in front of the stone memorial. Waste and trash laid all around the stone, though nowhere near as much as the rest of this area. It was clear that someone came here at least semi-frequently to clean this exact location.

"...She chose to end her own life." With those words, Kuro looked into Henrex's eyes, locking them with his own. They possessed that intensity that Kuro Okami could emit, but it was not of bloodlust. This time… it was of something deeper. Perhaps sorrow, or perhaps simply… respect. "I failed. My squad failed. The Soul Society failed. Here… Jenna Jade-Waters lost her life. Here, I thought I could escape the mental anguish by harming myself… physically…"

Kuro could not look Henrex in the eyes any longer as he said that. At last, he dropped his gaze, and began to work on the site, slowly cleaning it while he spoke. "But at the same time… she made me promise something. What happened to her forced me to decide something. You can clean… if you want… I don't mind either way…" Kuro's words about the cleaning did not possess the same emotion, and were more add-ons. He busily kept cleaning, bits of the gray material falling onto the ground like paper as he swept them up as well, collecting it all in the dust pan.

"Henrex… I don't want to be a burden. That was all… I ever really wanted." Kuro explained at last, his broom coming to a halt. "But… in doing… that… I lost everything around me, and when Nariri… left…" The back of Kuro's hoodie fell away, and Kuro's eyes finally looked back at Henrex, eyes that were as confused as they were resolute. "I had nothing left but my job. If the Soul Society had fallen… If it had been broken… What would have happened to me…? I can't… think about it." He finished flatly, before swiping the broom against the floor.

"This position… is more than just a job. It is a family… and those who forget that are the ones who harm it the most. I want to see you become stronger, stronger than I am.. Without having to experience that pain. But more than that… I want you to have a family here. The kind of family that I was shown… and the kind of bonds that make you want to keep fighting."

The Shinigami Captain finished explaining, his broom reaching its normal speeds once again. Kuro came here to sweep when he needed to take things off of his mind for a while… but the way he kept sweeping the same spots was a bit… odd...

Kuro blinked at that reply, before looking over at Henrex again. "…I guess that means he didn't really ever fall, huh?" Kuro asked, implying that falling physically was not the same as falling mentally. As Henrex began to draw his sword from his sheathe, Kuro blinked. He was not going to stop Henrex from doing anything, but he was perhaps defeating the purpose of the exercise by cleaning everything. In a way, that was what was making Kuro comfortable enough to have this kind of conversation.

The Captain leaned down, observing the small orb that was all the garbage in this area, before it was removed. He then looked up, hearing what Henrex had to say. "Do not tell me that." He said immediately, looking dead-set into Henrex's eyes as the peculiar intensity that Kuro Okami possessed began to reign once again. The feeling of bloodlust, of danger rose through the roof. Kuro could not control it. Not really. He did not mean to harm Henrex… but the male would definitely feel it.

"Yes… you all are my family." He said weakly, sitting down as he looked at the grave listlessly. The killing feeling dissipated as soon as it arrived. "But… I'm a burden. A burden is what I'm supposed to be. Watching you all, you are all burdens. You are all weights. You pull me down, make me consider you." Kuro explained, pulling his knees close. "I abandoned all my burdens for a time. A time that feels fuzzy even now… All I remember is blood and steel, the stench of death permanently in my nostrils." Kuro explained, his hoody falling back as he looked up at the sky.

"Burdens. Having them… that's pretty important, I think. You just... have to choose them, and have to keep choosing them." Kuro said, before looking over at his Vice-Captain, before he was hugged again. Kuro put his hand on the man's head, before gently patting it like a father would his son. "…Surviving is hard." Kuro finally said, before reaching into his pocket, slowly pulling out a ring. "…It's really hard, Henrex." Kuro let out, before clutching the ring, his body starting to shake as he began to slightly struggle to breathe.

"Thank you…" Kuro finally said, gripping the ring so tightly that it left an indent in his hand, before opening it once again as he pulled it back out, before sliding it along his right index finger. "From the shadows we will protect." He explained, as the ring became covered in black, shifting around his hand as it became a black band. Kuro slowly lifted that right hand up, showing something else to Henrex.

"Alright." Kuro Okami finally said, taking a deep breath before slowly rising again. "Let's go meet with our family, then." Kuro explained, the hoodie remaining off of the back of his head as he placed the broom down once more, resting the back of it against the gravestone. "You have a lot to learn. You better not leave until you're done." Kuro explained, before walking out of the door, back out into the light.

Even as he walked out of that room, however… Kuro could not shake that feeling, deep in his heart. The feeling that had persisted since Kaminari had left him those years ago. The feeling that someone, anyone… needed to put an end to this life he lead. Do I chase death…? Or do I constantly live within its shadow? Kuro wondered to himself, before gently shaking his head…