Confidence Wrecker [OPEN]

It was complete bullshit, being beaten by a lowlife demon that didn't even hold proper control of his powers. The blue flames singed off portions of the denim fabric of Renzo's clothes, leaving the black color in a far more charcoal-like state. They also left his level of respect for himself partially cracked, reaching almost to the edge an on the verge of just breaking completely. Renzo was tired, too tired. Dark bags filed under his droopy eyes, the colors of his iris practically lifeless to signify the amount of stress that had begun to dump on him. He was frustrated, angry--more than that, he was self-hating. Luckily it was past midnight for anyone to come around the park at this time to see the dry tear stains that littered his flushed cheeks. Most of all, the exorcist was stressed. So stressed that the real hair color of his were beginning to show at the roots of all the damn pink. A part of him was neutral about it, but another part of him wished he had the consistent motivation to continue dyeing it.

"What a paradise I live in," Renzo bitterly muttered while walking through the park's little denizens, simultaneously clutching at the injuries he received from his fight with Rin. "I don't know what to think, how to think, and... why to think." He shortly winced, gritting his teeth to muffle the significance of that dull pain. It was dull alright, but the sensation itself reminded him of the time when his own weapon's blunt side was jabbed against the same part of his body repeatedly. They sent jolts of electricity through his nerves, alerting the pain sensory, and stayed awhile to make sure that it wouldn't stop in the future. Renzo hated this experience. He would rather die with his face pressed against the cold ground, preferably when the skies were clouded and a torrential downpour would disguise the warm tears that falls out of his eyes. The boy, truthfully speaking, was way too exhausted to even cry. It was like the bag under his eyelid absorbed any incoming fluid, resulting in a more horrifying and larger size.

Upon his short stroll within the park, he found himself arriving at a creek, or a bank that was supposed to be one. In front of him was a rather large lake where fishes and other sea-animals inhabited in harmony, peace, and balance--all three important aspects of life if it was to remain stable for everyone in the world. Renzo respected that, and he wasn't opposed to just getting a breather somewhere. He honestly should have been going to the hospital, but explaining this situation to his family would not have been fun, nor would it have any more exciting to do so. His family didn't have the patience that he had, not that he had any much of it in the first place, which was a testament to his family's temperament. With a decree of momentary serenity, Renzo sat by the lake. His K'rik was laid to the side of him, a weapon that wasn't broken but in a state of conflict because of its owner's emotional phase. It would go away soon, or will it? The exorcist wasn't sure, and he was scared because of that.

Minutes passed and nothing happened. Fishes played around with another in their schools, the bits of vegetation slithered as if air currents were pushing it upward. It was an enjoyable sight. Renzo was... smiling. Very weakly, but nevertheless a real smile. He was absorbing this moment before it would go away, because that always happened to him. Whenever he was happy, a tragedy comes onto his porch and demands that his happiness be relinquished. He was an exorcist, his job was to eliminate demons, so why couldn't he do that with Rin? What was so god damn special about the son of Satan that it actually made the esteemed reputable exorcist like Renzo immobile? It was stupid, and he was confused. The mixture of hazardous emotions blended, and it was drawing black squiggly lines inside his brain. But the outside--his face--was under the facade of a lonely teenage boy who was just happy to be around. All false. Well, the smile is real as in he finds this sort of moment and scenery beautiful or even enjoyable, but it was all a ruse to hide his true feelings.

Renzo was human, after all. No human deserved to remain sad for the rest of their lives, even if they had to solve that issue by deriving help from false feelings and views. He was hateful of himself for sure, but he looked so relaxed that most would turn a blind eye to him. Nobody was around even; nobody except him, the bright moon and its light, the shimmering glow of the lake and its sea inhabitants within. Life was so precious, and demons reinforced a supremacy, which was he hunted demons in the first place. Because of how dangerous they were, how heartless and crude, that was the reason why Renzo wanted to eliminate them entirely. But that wasn't true with Rin. The boy held passion and love for the things he cared about, and had dislikes that other humans could find relatable. At first, Renzo just thought it was a method of deception, to get him to lower his guard, but it was all... genuine. The boy was scared of that, and was thus scared of the demon for the first time in forever.

He only hoped that right now he could enjoy this time without interruption, because he deserved the right to be happy. It was a right that came with being a decent human, though that title has come into question. What mattered was that he was absolutely chilled. Lifeless eyes with a calm smile born from calamity? Who cared, he was a teenage boy with a juvenile hair color. "The night... goes by once more, huh?" Renzo asked particularly no one. He didn't expect a response.