Dealing with one's humanity [FNG]

The blonde haired female sighed softly as she looked up in to the sky. Graffiti covered the park bench that she sat on, in fact it covered most structures in the area. After all, that was the norm when on the south side of Chicago, an area that had always been known for crime. It was an area ruled by various gangs, fights between rival gangs happening almost every night. This had not changed in the last four hundred years, the only real change was the racial makeup of the gangs. Whereas before it had been almost entirely humans who ruled these parts, now human gangs fought with demon gangs and the few gangs based on hollow races. However, this was also one of the only areas in the Midwest where one could find a strip club and whores that sold themselves out to the highest bidder. Of course, that was what Meru had been doing earlier this night. It was quite easy to feed off the humans who wanted to buy a few hours of pleasure if she pretended to be just another whore. Of course, all of them had died of ‘mysterious conditions’ before they could actually get off from her body. She didn’t care of course, she was a demon after all. What did it matter if she sold out her body to survive, it wasn’t like it mattered to her.

A small voice spoke up in the back of her mind, but she pushed it away with a snarl. It reminded her of that time at the bridge when that damn woman had somehow awakened whatever spark of humanity had been passed down to her from her father. Her hands tightened around the wooden bench, wood splintering beneath her flesh. She hated it, she was supposed to be a demon, and yet she had to be reminded of her human father whenever that small voice spoke up. Taking a deep breath, she stood, playing with a strand of blonde hair before she walked off, looking for some place where she could sleep that night.

It was only after a short amount of steps that Meru decided her current pace was too slow. Using her energy, she quickly created a speed rail to double her speed and sped off. Watching the area around her as she sped by, it was a bit later when she stopped herself. Having spotted someone in the distance, her humanity stirring at the sight of the individual, Meru decided to see what was going on. Slowly walking forward, her hands in the pockets of her jacket. The chains on her collar clinked softly as she continued forward, her interest peeking as she heard the female talking to herself. Meru’s ears caught the statement, eyes hardening as she heard the name Asthavon being spoken. Arranging her face in to a look of contempt and disgust, she opened her mouth to speak while a fair distance away from the woman.

“And pray tell, what is wrong with being an Asthavon?”

Her voice was harsh and slightly tinted with anger when she spoke, then waited for the girl to face her or acknowledge her presence. A few moments once she had been acknowledged, Meru dropped the scowl and sighed softly. No use utterly destroying the girl before figuring out what was going on here. A soft cry and a statement of worry filled the demon’s mind, brought forth by her humanity at the thought of harming the woman before them. An audible growl and Meru pushed away her humanity, anger visible on her face for a split second before it vanish. Taking a deep breath, she reached up to scratch her head right where her ear would be if she had been in her true form. Speaking up, her voice had lost its previous edge and now hinted at the frustration that the demon possessed towards her humanity.

“Sorry about that, hopefully it won’t become a normal occurrence. Now, what has gotten you in a bind? Talk quickly though, I want to get back to my search for my sister. Plus, I have my own issues to deal with.”

“You know exactly why I was fucking those perverts.”

Her voice replied coldly towards the woman when she asked why Meru had been in the club early. A sigh escaped her mouth, the demon did not feel like she was able to deal with whatever issues this human had. However, she was brought from her thoughts as a hand smacked against her cheek, leaving a red mark where it had hit her. Eyes flashing angrily, she traced the offending arm back to the human in front of her, raising her own fist with thoughts to take revenge for the way the human had treated her. Her body froze before the blow could continue though, eyes widening as Meru spotted a tear rolling down the woman’s face. Her body fought itself as something within her screamed out to help the human. The demon fought, trying to push back what was fighting her, but it just came back stronger than ever. Giving in to the humanity that lay within her, Meru’s hand fell back to her side, a sad look on her face. She strode forward until she was standing right next to Letty, her hands wrapping the woman in a hug in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…”

The words escaped her lips, soft and filled with worry. For a few moments, Meru just clung to Letty, releasing her once she felt her apology was accepted. Looking away, Meru stared in to the sky for a while, an aching feeling in the pit of her stomach pushing her to tell this woman about her past. She usually didn’t reveal much, beyond telling people she was looking for her twin sister she really didn’t want to get in to it with most. Walking over to a nearby building, Meru slumped against it, her eyes glued to the ground. A deep breath calmed her emotions, and then her voice spoke softly, telling Letty of her past.

“I really am sorry for how I acted towards you before. I don’t really know how to explain what happened to me without going in to my past, so I guess I’ll have to tell you about this. I wasn’t born in to the Asthavon family, instead I was born to another high ranking demon and a human who used to be part of shadow fall. However, as luch would have it, I was fated as an energy vampire. When they’re born, energy vampires can’t control their feeding. They feed on whatever is closest, not caring what happens to it. Eventually one would learn to control the feeding, as I have, if they survived long enough. However, I had a twin sister, and my father wasn’t spiritually strong. He was worried about what effects I might have if I ended up feeding from him or my sister, so he handed me off to the Asthavon family.”

She sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing her story.

“I always thought that I was a pure demon, that I didn’t inherit anything from my father. I was wrong though. My mind has always been a meld of human and demon, somewhere between the two. It’s why I hate taking on my true, demonic form, preferring this form instead. Lately though, it feels as if the two are separating, becoming two different entities. I don’t really understand it, but I’m trying to make sense of all this… oh Letty, what do I do?”

Tears rolled down her face, worry filling the young Asthavon’s features. She was lost, unsure of how to continue in this, and no idea where to go.