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Pociden
Pociden
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Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:13 pm
Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4119

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4120-1
______________________________________________

» Name: Axel Chillick
» Titles:
» Appearance Age: Earlie Twenties
» True Age: 471
» Gender: Male

» Appearance Description: Axel is youthful in appearance. His face shows little lines or wrinkles. His eyes are red as embers from a dying fire. He's slightly taller than the average high school guy. His arms show some muscle and he has a slightly noticeable four pack. His black spiky hair is always cut short. He always has his long red trench coat on with the collar worn up. His long black pants match his black boots and his black shirt. His belt is black with a silver skull buckled. The blade is always hidden underneath his cloak.

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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4121-1

» Personality: Axel is a determined person. He always finishes a task no matter what and once he has set his mind to something, he won't give up. Axel is also polite and kind. He help people in need and always uses proper manners. He can be very stubborn sometimes and in some situations. He thinks he's always right unless proven otherwise. He can joke around a lot with friends but sometimes gets carried away. He always loves to spar with someone to practice what he has worked on. He puts orders above training though, but not all the time. At times he can lose his temper easily but never seems to hold a grudge for long.
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4124-1

» Zanpakutō Name: Fèng (Phoenix)

» Zanpakutō Spirit Appearance: A bird set on fire. His feathers move like a fire in the wind. As he flies, a trail of red hues follows him. His tail flows free like a paper carried off by the wind. As he glides, embers fall beneath him. His wingspan matches that of an eagle. His eyes are red like a ruby. His head has feathers sticking out in random places. His feat looks like old oak wood. A sight of pure majestic beauty.

» Zanpakutō Spirit Personality: Fèng is a free spirited being. It hates to be trapped and is very passionate about everything.

» Inner World: The inner world of Axel starts off in his old dojo. The dojo is very vast and there is no ceiling. There are many obstacles inside the dojo and at one of the walls, there's a door slightly open. Passing through all the obstacles is difficult itself but doable. Once outside there's another vast area. This time it's a field full of trees. From the outside, the dojo looks much smaller than from the inside.

Sealed Zanpakutō Appearance: The appearance is like an average katana with a silver blade. The blade collar is golden and the gaurd is black. The handle is silver with a red cord wrap around it forming diamonds.

» Release Phrase: None.

» Shikai Appearance: Not discovered.

» Shikai Abilities: Not discovered.

» Bankai Appearance: Not discovered.

» Bankai Abilities: Not discovered.

_____________________________________________

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4127-1

» Inner Hollow Description: Axel's inner hollow looks almost like him. While Axel's clothing has brighter shades of colors, the hollow possesses darker shades of the same color. Also the hollow's eyes are black with a red center which can be seen through his glasses. The hollow's skin is white, almost like bone. His smile is one that gives a very uneasy feeling.

» Inner Hollow Personality:Axel's inner hollow's personality is calculating. It waits before striking. It makes precise moves and plans. Most of the time everything follows accordingly. But in those few moments when things slip, he becomes lost.

Though he can be very calculating, he can be aggressive also. Only in dire times will he turn to more aggressive approaches. The reason being that he becomes less strategic and will strike at his target no matter what the cost is. Though his attacks are much stronger and he moves much quicker. Fighting him when he's like this is like fighting a lion in a closed cage.

» Inner Hollow Powers: The hollow possesses a medium sized cero with a dark red color to it. It's very strong and very deadly. He also has the ability to create clones. This comes easily to him and can create multiples at once, deceiving the person. It can also be a deadly weapon since the clones strength is equivalent to the hollow.

» Hollow Mask Appearance: The mask is fitted for Axel's face. There are three thick red lines coming from the corner of the each eye and stretch all the way back to the end of the mask in the form of wings. The mouth is sealed shut and the teeth match perfectly. The holes in the eyes are in the shape of flat obtuse triangles turned in a slight angle. Two horns protrude from the forehead and are bent inward.

_____________________________________________

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4128-1

» Vizard Powers:

Cero: Axel can fire a bright red cero the size of a basketball. The distance is unlimited and the speed of the cero only increases the longer it goes. Axel's cero can follow its target and will explode on contact creating a powerful explosion large enough to engulf a tall three-story building. After firing the cero, Axel become slightly fatigued and cannot use it again for two posts.

Duplication: Axel creates a mirror image of himself instantaneously which materializes next to him. The image is an exact duplicate in appearance. Its strength is half of Axel's own strength. It also can take damage (though the damage is not linked to Axel). Creating an image drains Axel's energy and thus must be wary of creating one. The current limit he can have is two without completely straining himself. Each clone will last around four posts or until it is killed. Creating clones over the limit can have serious consequences. Upon reaching double his limit, he will reach a point that he strains himself so much he causes damage to his body.
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4129-1

» Resurrección Appearance: Not obtained.

» Resurrección Abilities: Not obtained.

_____________________________________________

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4123-1

» Background:

» Human: Axel had a great life. His family,his parents and his older brother and sister, was prospering in their business and he had many friends. Alex was always polite and kind to those around him making him very easy to fit in. He never backed down from a challenge from someone and loved to show off his kendo skills. Every day he would practice his kendo at least once to try and improve skills. When he turned 14, Axel got his very own kendo sword which drove him to practice harder. Just a few weeks after turning 16, Axel was on his way home from kendo practice when he was jumped by 5 thugs. He was able to beat 3 of them in unconsciousness using his wooden sword but the 5th pulled a knife and stabbed Axel in the side. Taking his stuff, Axel was left to die.

» Afterlife: After his death, Axel started to haunt the dojo he used to go to and his families house. After some time passed, a shinigami appeared and started to tell Axel about the soul society. Axel became very interested and agreed to go. Upon arriving, Axel was very sure that his life would be very different than the life he had originally had as a human. Axel joined a family that was respected and well prospered, trying to get as close as he could to comfort. He made many friends as a kid and life was good as he grew up. Though he wasn't quite satisfied with the ordinary life. He wanted to become something greater. That's when he decided to become a shinigami. After 80 years of intense practice, Axel took the entrance exam and shortly received news that he had passed.

» Shinigami: As a shinigami, Axel made many friends and often asked to spar with them. With his determination to grow stronger, he pushed both him and his sword to the limits. He strove to obtain greater power and used every opportunity to practice. He treated every mission as a way to test his skills on the field.

» Meeting The Hollow Within: 230 years later after joining the squad, he was on a mission when was sidetracked by a group of hollows that look like a good warm-up. After slaying all the hollows, Axel resumed his task at hand. After returning, Axel started to have strange dreams which turned into nightmares. One month after the mission Axel faced his hollow. He had woke up in the middle of the night again in a cold sweat from another nightmare and decided some midnight practice would calm his nerves. Finding an empty field he entered his inner world. After passing through all the obstacles, he went outside the dojo only to find a hollow smirking at him. The hollow closely resembled Axel with glasses.

» The Fight: The hollow starts to study Axel. Suddenly he dashed toward Axel and swings a quick strike. Axel blocked the attack and noticed that the hollow's speed was incredible and his attack was powerful as well. Axel launched a counterattack in which the hollow blocked and then a second hollow appeared striking Axel in the back. Quickly noticing this, Axel flash stepped out of the way only to find that the hollows were gone. Then the hollow struck Axel in the back surprising him. Badly wounded, Axel laid there and waited. The hollow was about to finish Axel when he suddenly flash stepped behind the hollow and struck him in the back. The hollow started to reel back, surprised that it not only had been hit, but wounded badly. Axel quickly took this opportunity and dealt another blow, this time much more deadlier. Axel soon notices that the hollow he had struck was a clone. He looked around and then the hollow far away about to fire a cero. The hollow launched the cero straight at Axel. Axel, badly wounded as he was, managed to flash step away just in time to dodge it. Then he quickly flash stepped behind the hollow dealing one last ferocious blow that killed the hollow. As the hollow starts to fade, he says, "I had underestimated you. The next time we meet I will be sure to crush you. Do me a favor and don't die before then."

» Aftermath: After getting out of his inner world, Axel left the Soul Society. Axel wandered the human world for a while trying to sort things out and figure out how he obtained a hollow inside him. Axel wandered into an open field much like his inner world. He drew out his sword and started to practice his kendo techniques that he still remembered. Soon, he found that it was very relaxing and cleared his mind. Right then, it hit Axel. He realized that if he could control his inner hollow, he could become stronger than before. Axel made his mind up to do whatever he can to not only control his inner hollow, but master its powers.

_________________________________


Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4122-1

General Skills
  • Durability: Beginner
  • General Speed: Beginner
  • Strength: Adept
  • Weapon Skill: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Hoho: Beginner
  • Cero/Bala/Kidō: Beginner
  • Zanjutsu: Adept
  • Hakuda: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Acid Skill: Beginner
  • Garganta : Adept
  • Cero/Bala: Beginner
  • Regeneration: Beginner



Racial Skills
  • Power Augmentation Adept
  • Cero: Beginner
  • Mask Protection:: Beginner
  • Hollow Control: Beginner



Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Beginner
  • Mental Deduction: Beginner
  • Pain Endurance:Beginner
  • Focus: Beginner


_____________________________________________

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Image4125-1

» Role Play Sample:

Axel walks in a wide open field. There are an arrangement of flowers around him. Ahead him is the entrance to a forest. They sky is clear and the sun shines brightly. The breeze slightly blows towards him from the mountains in the north carrying a smell of clean and refreshing air. Axel inhales in deeply then exhales.

"Nothing like a stroll through the fields." Axel says aloud.

He continues his stroll to the forest and stops in front of a tree. He sizes up the tree then takes of his coat and unsheathes his sword. He takes a deep breath and strikes the tree beginning his kendo practice.

A few hours past and he re-sheathes his sword and leans against the tree slightly tired.

"What a beautiful sight of nature this is and the smell of these oak trees are amazing." He thought. "If only I could stay here forever."

Axel started to ponder that thought for a while and then remembered that he had set his mind to mastering his hollow powers. He let out a sigh and picked up his robe and put it on. Then started to head back to the field to start his real training.



Last edited by Pociden on Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:16 pm; edited 12 times in total
Ludalfa
Ludalfa
The Living Microwave
The Living Microwave
Joined : 2012-07-19
Posts : 932
Age : 30
Location : New Jersey

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Left_bar_bleue30/100Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty_bar_bleue  (30/100)
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:14 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [o]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [o]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [o]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:Beginner
  • Mental Deduction:Beginner
  • Pain Endurance:Beginner
  • Focus: Beginner


Comments/Notes:

Enhanced Speed

Enhanced Stamina

Enhanced Strength

Enhanced Stamina

Enhanced Spiritual Power

Mask Shielding: Body damage can seemingly be ignored while wearing their masks

Power Augmentation: With the acquisition of the mask via the subjugation of ones inner Hollow. Axel gains access to a additional and separate source of power, in addition to the Shinigami powers one already possesses.

Cero: A medium sized cero with a bright red color to it almost like fire.

High Speed Regeneration: While hollowifed, Axel gains the ability to regenerate lost limbs (excluding head and internal organs) when lost.
This does not need to be included due to it being the benefits of being a vizard and is not required to be within the app. If your abilities are enhanced speed, stamina, strength, stamina, spiritual power then please expand on them on how they work, why you get the bonuses, and what the drawbacks are.


» Inner Hollow Powers: The hollow possesses a medium sized cero. He also has the flash step technique. The ability to create clones. Regeneration in limbs.
You also need to expand on your inner hollow's abilities and expand on them as one word ability will not be accepted unless they are expanded upon. also flash step is a shinigami only move so hollows can not use them.

Please expand on your appearance description some more as I count 8 sentences the minimum is 10.


Tier: N/A
Pociden
Pociden
Established Member
Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Left_bar_bleue0/0Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 8:04 pm
Made the changes. Ready for the review again.
Ludalfa
Ludalfa
The Living Microwave
The Living Microwave
Joined : 2012-07-19
Posts : 932
Age : 30
Location : New Jersey

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Left_bar_bleue30/100Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty_bar_bleue  (30/100)
Tiers:

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 9:13 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination:
  • Mental Deduction:
  • Pain Endurance:
  • Focus:


Comments/Notes:


Cero: A medium sized cero with a bright red color to it almost like fire. When it hits something there's a medium sized explosion. After the cero Axel is somewhat tired due to him being a novice.

Duplication: Axel creates a mirror image of himself. The image is an exact duplicate meaning that it can attack with the same power as Axel and can also take damage (though the damage is not linked to Axel). Creating an image drains Axel's energy and thus must be wary of creating one. Creating multiples can have serious consiquences.
you did expand on the abilities but you don't state how it works what the drawbacks are and the length they last. in the cero's case how long does it take til he can use the cero can be used again. is their a max distance are their any speical properties to this cero?

also for the duplicate how long does it last and how long does it take to make a new one. what are the serious consequences and whats the limit of clones he can make.


» Inner Hollow Powers: The hollow possesses a medium sized cero with a dark red color to it. It's very strong and very deadly. He also has the ability to create clones. This comes easily to him and can create multiples at once, deceiving the person. It can also be a deadly weapon since the clones strength is equivalent to the hollow.

since this is the same as above basically it allow applies to this.
Tier:
Pociden
Pociden
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Posts : 102
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:21 pm
Redid the cero completely and added more to the duplication.
Ludalfa
Ludalfa
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:43 pm

Duplication: Axel creates a mirror image of himself instantaneously. The image is an exact duplicate meaning that it can attack with the same power as Axel and can also take damage (though the damage is not linked to Axel). The image will last as long as his hollow mask, or if it is killed. Creating an image drains Axel's energy and thus must be wary of creating one. The current limit he can have is two without completely straining himself. Creating clones over the limit can have serious consequences. Upon reaching double his limit, his mask instantaneously shatters and cannot use his hollow powers for the rest of the thread.
i feel as you have not read the vizard guide on site as different tiers have different lenghts they can have their hollow masks on. also make sure that your clones are at least somewhat weaker then you since you have your character gang up on another character. but based on the wording your character will mimic exactly what you do. so this ability based on wording as well can only be used while you wear your mask.

just fix this and you will be good also read the vizard guide to help you

link to the vizard guide. https://www.platinumhearts.net/t8143-vizard-general-wip#50007
Pociden
Pociden
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Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:46 pm
So I need to make my clones weaker and what was the second one?
Pociden
Pociden
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Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:54 pm
Hmm reworded a few things and added a new consequence after seeing the vizard guide.
Ludalfa
Ludalfa
The Living Microwave
The Living Microwave
Joined : 2012-07-19
Posts : 932
Age : 30
Location : New Jersey

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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:07 pm
add a limit to how long the clones can last and you will be fine. since keeping it linked to your mask will make the ability last too long
Pociden
Pociden
Established Member
Joined : 2013-11-11
Posts : 102
Location : CA

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Left_bar_bleue0/0Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty_bar_bleue  (0/0)
Tiers:

Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:58 pm
Changed the limit to 4 posts.
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Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5] Empty Re: Axel Chillick [APPROVED 4-5]

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