[Sueki] Nina Valérian

Ohkay, thanks for the edits, but before I look more in depth, I must address something. What the bloody FUCK, is this shit? I'm sorry typically I'm not short but it just seems to me that A) you're crying because you didn't get checked and just babying it rather then having pm'd the staff member that in charge of your app and B) you're rage quitting because you didn't get what you want. I'm a blunt, straight foward person, so wrap up your bullshit, it doesn't belong in the app.

To address your point, I can just present one valid one; Real life triumphs over site. JJ Apologized for not having handed off the app when he got busy, and for not checking it. As a new member on the site, you should have been gracious and thanked him for his apology and look forward to the new morrow that someone would bring with checking. If this is your attitude, then you are right; you aren't welcome here. As much as I understand waiting a week is painful ( I had to wait an entire month as a new member on a new site. Try that one for some change.) did you ever pm JJ? Did you ever go to our advisor, whom is here for such problems? If you did not, you have no right to complain. I suggest you apologize; that would be very nice since not only you have basically blatantly been discourteous to an ADMIN whom doesn't check apps all the time, you've been discourteous to everyone that's been in this topic. Speaking of which I Saved your post, so editing it to make it seem better is a waste of time.

In any case, if you can put that toxicity behind you, I'll focus on the important stuff, like the app, rather then bitch about how much of a rude fuck you were. Also side note, not all of staff is cleared to check Sueki's, but the other's weren't going against the concept of one, hence the more sueki able staff having to check your app. And I am aggressive, because I am staff here; you want to rp here? Listen to what staff has to say, and keep your mouth shut. I take no shits. If you want an example, just view elendril's last app; I checked it, he mouthed off, and I set him right back into place.

Okay I'm sorry to be a stickler; but for the LOVE of goddamn Morpheus, please, fix your template. 1. I can't find anything since you don't have headers that imply the sections; so I have to read through things 5-6 times just to find what is custom powers, what is racial powers, etc. This makes it unclean, and hard for people to read your application when they need to, like moderators. So please just do something to fix that; it's getting annoying when I re-read the same 8 paragraphs because it looks different each time. '.'

Lunatic Esper: If I understand right, basically she can read emotions, and sense anybody no matter what, for a very long distance, without any kind of effort, and the only drawback is a bit of mental strain? .. I'd suggest adding drawbacks or switching things around; since viably, this sort of ability isn't necessarily all balanced what so ever. The Main problem is that this has no sorts of cost, and is passive; either reduce the range immensely to continue for it to be passive, or add in a cool-down/activation feature to match up with the sheer amount she can do with this.

Necrophillia+Willpower: Personality traits go into the personality. Also, I don't get willpower; how is this even related to fighting people? And how can she resist advances from the very race she is from, considering their very nature is similar to her own? Well I could see if she didn't want to be one, but with all of these powers, seems like she's pretty comfy being a sueki...

Witch: I keep seeing this term, and I'll like to recall to you something written in the app for one, and in the race. ''Sueki do not retain any Soul State, Chi from humans or Demon powers or abilities.'' Now this said, being a witch is a power and ability that seems human based in nature.. kinda wonders how she's accessing such energy? I'll hold off on checking ''Dark arts'' related abilities until I get a clearer understanding of how this works.

Side Note: History: Oh as a side note ''They cannot come into contact with solar energy or sunlight otherwise the ageing process within their bodies starts to rapidly react and they will die within ten minutes.'' So I suggest you revamp that part in your history about the sun touching her.

Diablerie: As quote from Here. ''Eating: Character DO not get stronger by eating others. This means you CANNOT go around eating people in order to obtain more "power". We ran into a problem awhile back where a few hollow/Arrancar characters thought they were able to obtain new tiers from simply eating people. Well, after that incident, this rule was enforced and most characters do not suddenly gain a new tier from consuming another person unless it was a special circumstance. '' This extends to this ability as well.


This will be the start of it; I'm sure you have things to adjust all over. Once your app is a little bit more clear, I Can check the rest. I do not wish to overwhelm you with things to check and finish; but this is not over by a long shot.