Bleach Platinum Hearts RP
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JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
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Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Empty Re: Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1]

Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:43 pm
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Kade, first, you need permission from Chaozi to have had a past Espada, and especially at least notify him of having had one. Second, When the HELL did los nachoes get a Dojo? Also, against a Vasto Lorde... You would have died. Kade, you need to realize, vasto lorde take multiple CAPTAINS (with BANKAI) to take down.

, Eric Zarathos lefted Shadowfall to bury an old ghost

What.

The only way to obtain power and strength the fast something strong needed to be sacrificed and Zaiko's sacrifice his Resurrección form which the witch demon used her magic to combined both forms into one as the arrancar increased in power.

Again, you need permission for Chaozi. And second... What.

Hierro: Which refers to the ultra tough skin of the arrancar, which is a result of their compressed spiritual power. While their skin is strong enough to block even released Zanpakutō bare-handed, it is by no means impenetrable. Yet if a strong and powerful attack or shikai attack was used then perhaps Zaiko's hierro might break.

Kade, how many times are you going to make this mistake of saying you need shikai level or blah blah blah to destroy defenses. Just take out the last line completely, PLEASE.

Mano: An ability that Arrancar's use to deflect, stop or even pierce the enemy with their bare hands. When this technique is used with conjunction Hierro it power strengthens in terms of defence. Zaiko can combine this technique with Hierro which is called "Ma-Hierro" a strong which can block bankai but still feel the effects from it.

...If you are going to use this, remove everything from it except for the first sentence.

Negación: are energy fields are used to rescue fellow Hollows. Only the Gillian-class Menos have shown the ability to use it. Negación fields surround a target in a square beam of light that isolates the target from the dimension they are currently in, making it impossible to harm them. The field then pulls the target towards the Menos that created the field.

Arrancar CANNOT USE NEGACIÓN.

Also, you cannot have augmented/master everything. Reduce it to two things that are at that level and describe the rest as normal.

Enhanced Pesquisa: This is the Arrancar equivalent of the Shinigami ability to sense Spiritual Pressure. It functions very similarly to sonar. However, Zaiko's pesquisa his five senses are in effect and detect where the spiritual pressure and howe powerful that person or people are almost a super homing beacon.

No, you cannot just pesquia the five senses. Keep it normal.

The blast radius of the Exodus fist is 3 miles. However, Zaiko can use the attack three times if the fourth time then his arm of which he used the Exodus fist will take some damage and become numb.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Change distance to 50 meters, say he can only fire them twice, and say he can only use it once per post, every two posts.

True Deception: The mind trick technique which give the enemy some measure of hope but it ensures the user's victory.

I'm fine with the rest of the ability, but remove this first line. You can't just "Ensure your victory" with a single technique's description.

Body suit lasts for 2 posts.

Please say it only lasts for 6 seconds.


The problem of this attack is willpower must be higher for this to work. If will power isn't high then the original user can be sensed and attack.

Wouldn't this be governed by focus?



Finally, you need Chaozi's permission to even HAVE berserker form. I have no idea who the hell "Togo" is, but if I were you I wouldn't even mention them. Finally, link the old application at the bottom of the new one, please.




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
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Kakeru
Kakeru
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Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Empty Re: Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1]

Thu Jan 17, 2013 2:25 pm
Whew here we go.

Arrancarized Devil Eyes: The arrancarized version of Eric's Bloodeyes, Zaiko was trained constantly mind, body and soul to learn the technique from a mad demon and make it his own. Zaiko had to defeat his own kind even betray them to learn the first stage and then some months having his own eyes replaced with arrancarized devil ones. The spiritual power once the Devil eyes are activated will give the user increased strength, stamina & speed. The arrancarized power feeds on the arrancar's instincts the most basic pure one the will to survive. It activates when the user starts crying blood. The red aura will engulf the user giving him increased power and berserk like abilities that only a true mad demon would use. Zaiko gain this power from his trainer a demon named Eric Zarathos as he was leaving Karakura town teachings how to use the dark power for himself. Originally a arrancar would have to be at near death to gain such a technique like this and it powers.

First off, did he nearly die as an arrancar if so link to that so you have a basis. Secondly... What's with the increasing three stats up at once? Pick two of them please. Third, I don't mind that you link to Eric, [Kade], but can you think of anoter reason for this, also is this the reason for his Berserk forn or is this just a techqniue. ALso if you don't have it written up I'd like to see it wrote up.

Berserker Abilties
Wild Senses: The Senses of six animals (tiger, lion, dog, hawk, wolf, & bear) are embedded within the arrancar's mind. The combined senses five the arrancar an dark keen ability to sense and point an enemy movements. Utilizing the characteristics of the animals, the Arrancar has the senses of an enemy or enemies. Also detecting what kind of speed their using. A dark combination of both of sonido & pesquisa in an animal sort of way.

Animals wouldn't be able to detect the kind of speed, but more or less how fast they are going and how they could adapt. Okay, this isn't too bad... but where does this Bersker form come from? The eyes or what? This
Seems cool, but where does this stem from is my question.

Exodus Fist: Exodus Fist: An elemental spiked fist punch attack with the destructve power of the combination of elemental magics. The combination containing (lightning & spiritual). The two elemental magics formed into small diamond crystal balls each ball talking on a dark demon color the crystal ball merge with the demon's arm turning it into spiked armored fist. Electricity starts forming from the hand. When deliver a punch the attack small nuke like explosion which can damage the enemy pretty badly most of his enemy skin will be burned if it blocked. The blast radius of the Exodus fist is 50 meters. However, Zaiko can can only fire them twice, and say he can only use it once per post, every two posts.

I want to ask this... Is he Arrancar or Demon, you need to stick to a consistent type. This isn't as bad as I thought but uhm.. How far can this fire from? and will he take damage if he's caught into this attacks AOE?

True Deception: The mind trick technique which give the enemy some measure of hope. This technique creates the illusion that Zaiko has been killed, stabbed, burned alive, chop up, or blown apart by an enemy's attack. The trick illusion power actually creates the illusion that the arrancar is actually somewhere else making Zaiko invisible. How complex is true deception? It makes a second Zaiko at the state of near death thinking the enemy has own. The Illusion Zaiko is bloody from the enemy's attack and about die. It turns the original Zaiko invisible covering his whole body in a invisible like body suit in mere seconds. Body suit lasts for 6 seconds. Giving him a chance to recover and dissapear or attack the enemy head on without them noticing it. The problem of this attack is willpower must be higher for this to work. If will power isn't high it won't work.

Uhm I'm sure stacking illusions is a no, even if you're at a near death state. So rework this ability Please. Now on to Ressurrection.

• Resereccion Abilities: Augmented Strength: In his Resereccion form, Zaiko's strength is immensely stronger because of the long decades he spent training improved his strength with his transformed state growing through deadly trainings. He can actually slam a person to the ground hard actually breaking an enemy shoulder's completely. He can actually attack enemies who are strong in this form. The arrancar can actually outmatched a person's bankai and other strong attacks with one hand but too many times then it can get him killed.

This explanation is almost unnecessary... Just say he's stronger, by a certain amount, and that he can block a bankai with both hands Too much filler.

Augmented Sonido: He started teaching himself how to use sonido within his resereccion form it proven to have better results within training and on the battlefield. His Sonido speeds are augmented. Zaiko is shown to used his sonido speeds along with his reflexes to gain the upperhand on a enemy or find ways to outmanever them. He have enough speed to match and espada's sonido for a brief amount of time.

Uhm... Okay this one isn't too bad FIne.

Highly Trained Combatant: Even though hollows trained him when he was young. Zaiko started teaching himself of how to use the ways of combat. He started becoming proficent in his battles against both hollows and shinigami. Zaiko is almost lethal in using punches and kicks making him a fine combatant. Zaiko likes using both speed and reflexes with this skill always looking for the right moment to beat up somebody. He is skilled enough to even hold his own against stronger opponents like other espadas, vizards and ziamichis for short or long amounts of time.

Again... Filler, but this is passable.

High Flight: He actually learned this tehcnique from histrainings, Zaiko started practicing on his own before mastery the technique himself. He actually learned the ability to flying to different places whenever he wants do so. An arrancar needs to fly or super jump and with his new power can travel anywhere he wants. Another reason why he has to fly is because in his transformed state, Zaiko doesn't have any legs in form meaning he'll need to fly because if doesn't he'll fall down.

O_o.. You know... that Spiritual beings naturally fly right He could just know how to fly... I'd suggest something like a super powerful Reiatsu attack, this technique is so unnecessary I'm tempted to throw it out.

Extremo Relámpago Pu o(Extreme Lightning Fist): An intense ability where both his spirit pressure and flame energy is fused within his fist. Zaiko can augment amount the damage that the fist attack inflicts. He when he was to hit an enemy with the attack the pressure from the fist would send a lightning shockwave blast through the opponent's body. Which will travel the nervous system breaking apart nerves even destroying organ if it hits the stomach. It can be dodged though but still the opponent doesn't see it coming though.

Okay Shockwave Distance, and uhm.. I guess I'll let this inference of flames pass through. Digressing this needs a Distance, and will the lightning shockwave affect him if he abuses it too?

Fix these please.


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Kakeru
Kakeru
Nise no Eiyū
ZX's OTM
Joined : 2012-05-31
Posts : 1343
Age : 33
Location : Kagatsuchi

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Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Empty Re: Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1]

Fri Jan 18, 2013 12:51 pm
What's the Range of Exodous fist when it's launched as a projectile you never answered that.

Secondly... Can you write up your berserk state because I feel awkward of him saying he has one, and well those abilities seem out of place without a power behind it, Make it simple.

And how far away does he have to be for his Extreme lightning fist to not be hurt.

I haven't gone through history yet, once the powers are done then history okay?


Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] GFHHFG_zpsj1vrrfxz

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JJ
JJ
Rower of Rock. And Souls.
Joined : 2011-03-03
Posts : 5174
Age : 27
Location : , Location, Location!

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Left_bar_bleue20650/20000Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Empty_bar_bleue  (20650/20000)
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Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:02 pm
Application Checklist
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
  • 10 sentences for personality [X]
  • History is of appropriate length [X]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


Will Skills
  • Willpower/Determination: Advanced
  • Mental Deduction: Beginner
  • Pain Endurance: Advanced
  • Focus: Adept


Comments/Notes: Approvable.
Tier: 2-1




Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
- Buddha
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Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1] Empty Re: Zaiko Tricaesarn [APPROVED, 2-1]

Sun Mar 22, 2015 12:58 pm

✖| TLC NEEDED! Gao! |✚
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Inactive Character Warning!
There is nothing in your message history about this guy within 2015! I checked it over like Santa!
Gao! If you wish to keep it, reply to this within a week!


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Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:51 pm

✖| Kuma Shock! |✚
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Moving to Inactive Character
You haven't responded to my warning at all! You can claim your character back, but you have to message me or on this app.


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