Dudebros #3: The Door Within [Koga, Ranma]

Well, fuckin’ hell… he nudged his brother back, but what he heard about the Kenpachi was wild. Almost… suicidally wild. The dude didn’t sound real for a second. Sure, Ranma got behind the courage thing, ‘never backing down from a fight’ and whatnot, but there were levels of badassery that he didn’t dare challenge – mostly ‘cuz, in contrast to this Kenpachi-guy, Ranma very much feared for his life.

“You’d think he’d… y’know… wait, did he ever meet his match or something?” Ranma decided to ask next. Kenpachi sounded like he must’ve won every fight he ever went into, but if he was a whole-ass Captain, he must’ve had an untold number of battles to the death. If he was so fearless as legend would say, how… how come the dude survived? Ranma hadn’t heard jack shit about him dying, so- wait, was he even out there?! Where the hell was he?! He could’ve been plenty helpful with the invasion!

“I mean, we’re not really Kenpachis ourselves, but at the same time, you can’t fight tomorrow if you die today. Also, where the fuck even is he?! He could’ve helped with the invasion… *gnash* or somethin'. He didn't die, did he?”

"I've been askin' that same fuckin' question myself."

Koga never remembered how Zaraki disappeared. He remembered when, but he was hardly witness to whatever might of taken the man out of commission. Koga wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but if there was one thing his Kenpachi loved more than anything else in the world, then it was combat. There was never a battle he didn't like, and although he wasn't as fanatical about him as Shura was, he knew Zaraki would've been there to fight any and everybody there. Ichigo, the arrancar, hollow - a proverbial buffet of opponents, and he missed out. If he ever saw him again, he would remind him of what he missed out on. Diving into his food again, he'd speak through mouthfuls of protein and veggies as he pointed his chopsticks at him.

"That said, I don't think he died. Pretty sure that sorta news woulda run rampant through all of the Eleventh and Soul Society as a whole. Far as I fuckin' know, he's MIA. Sure, we could've used him durin' the invasion, but reality's a bitch. We just gotta get good, you know? You and me. We ain't Kenpachi, but we can be the next best thing."

MIA… so basically just doing whatever? He must’ve reacted to all of this, then… unless he lived in a fuckin’ cave. “… Yeah, not gonna lie, if he ain’t showing his face anytime soon, I’ma just assume he accidently tried fighting himself and died,” Ranma concluded at the end of his meal, wiping his hands gratefully, “Like, with all the shit that’s happened-“

Ranma fuckin’ fell asleep. He filled his belly – might as well hold a siesta, and his brain had worked hard enough for today. Dude snored like he didn’t have a care in the world – in the face of all that had happened, he sternly carried on in his own, unique, weird way… as it befitted a true Shinigami.